So, What’s Up With The Incredible Hulk’s . . . Penis?

the incredible hulk's pants stay on

I am SO glad The Hulk's pants stayed on when we met!

Like pretty much everybody else in America, I saw The Avengers over the weekend. I really liked it, but instead of gushing over the special effects or that awesomely funny bonus scene at the very end of the credits (did you see that?!)–the first words out of my mouth after my boyfriend and I left the theater were, “So, what’s up with The Incredible Hulk’s pants?” To which he said, “You mean, you want to talk about The Incredible Hulk and his PENIS?!

I’m seriously not usually a mind-in-the-gutter girl, but how can you not wonder how The Incredible Hulk’s pants stay on while all of his other clothes get ripped off in his transformation from a normal guy to a giant monster? I mean, I guess for decency’s sake, Joss Whedon and the team behind the movie didn’t exactly want a giant green penis flopping all over the screen (especially not in 3D! ACK!)–but couldn’t they at least come up with some quick explanation as to how his pants stay on? Like, he developed some sort of magic stretchy fabric that he uses to make . . . special magic Hulk pants?

In the movie, there is one scene where Dr. Banner wakes up after transforming back to human form and is completely naked–some random guy actually hands him a pair of pants–so I guess they were hinting that The Hulk’s pants eventually came off, but why bother at that point? I mean, we’d already seen him him all Hulked-out with his pants still completely intact. It makes no sense.

If anybody out there has an answer, let me know. I’m willing to suspend disbelief for lots of things–but those pants? Too much of a stretch.

What do you think about The Incredible Hulk’s pants? Are you glad you didn’t have to see The Incredible Hulk’s penis waving around at you in 3D? Tell me everything in the comments!

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  • Jon

    The Hulks pants don’t rip because he has a tiny penis. This is obviously the source of his intense rage.

  • Nicole

    In the movie, before he buys pants from the lady where he asks her for “mas stretchy pants”, they show his pants becoming all tight and ripped up. So they address it before and after he buys pants and the pants he does buy are extremely large (he holds them up to a very fat lady shopping beside him) and super stretchy pants.

  • kiddala

    The sign of a good film is where every moment counts. I’m not saying every moment of Avengers assemble counts but at least they don’t spend time discussing The Hulks pants and bulgy penis.

  • Savvy

    Haha, this is so true!

    I remember in the second Hulk movie, they made it very clear that he searched far and wide for large stretchy sweat pants so that whenever he turned, his pants would stay on. But he was wearing normal pants in the Avengers. They TOTALLY could’ve at least put rips through them, but while his clothes came ripping off, he pants were completely intact.

    In reality, they could have had his pants rip off but his stretchy underwear stay on (guy’s underwear can be VERY stretchy) but I’m sure it would be ridiculous with a giant green raging guy running around in whitey-tighties. 😛

    I am very confused as well why his pants did finally come off while he was falling. And apparently he doesn’t wear underwear, just pants, which seems uncomfortable to me, especially being around the sexy Black Widow all the time. O_o

    Unrealistic movie is unrealistic. 😛

  • mia

    because its just a movie and its that serious….and why would they show some giant green penis anyway?

    • melissa

      Seen The Watchmen?

  • Chloe Jane

    A Haiku for you:

    Green and all swelled up
    So bulgy, this mystery
    Still there. Like hulk pants.