Is A Relationship Not Official Unless It’s Facebook Official?

Facebook Official

Do you make it FB official? | Source: ShutterStock

Okay, so you’ve started dating a totally awesome new dude. You guys hang out all the time, he’s met your parents, you’re really into him… so, is it time to put your relationship on Facebook? In other words, is it time to make things Facebook official?

Making a relationship Facebook official can be complicated – it’s basically an announcement that you’ve started dating someone. Some people say relationships are private, and there’s no need to air it on FB. But others say that a relationship isn’t really real until it says it on your profile. We saw this debate in the message boards, and we’re curious to know how you feel about it. Read what these girls had to say, and then tell us your opinion.

merorg4life asked:
Do you make a relationship Facebook official? If you have before, what was the reaction of your Facebook friends? Everyone has their own set of steps before making it Facebook official. So, do you have these?

I am not in a relationship or anything. I’m just curious to hear what you gURLS have to say. I am on the fence about this.

leylaxx said:
No son, I do not have my relationship on FB. Here is why!

1. If we break up, the changed status will raise questions, people asking why, etc.
2. If we break up and change our minds and get back together…. ughhh yeah a lot of FB drama.
3. No one’s business but my own.
4. I think it’s childish.
5. We’ve been dating for going on 4 years, EVERYONE ALREADY KNOWS!

Finger Couple

If you're happy together, who cares if it's online? | Source: ShutterStock

Basically I want control over my relationship and I do not like the feeling of insecurity over that dumb public title. Plus, I’ve always worried that one of us would change it on impulse and make us look dumb. It just is so stupid and not right for me. Too much pressure involved.

BleedingSun said:
It depends on the nature of the relationship. I think that as soon as you get serious you should, but it is a personal choice.

But if your partner is hesitant to do so, I would take that as a warning sign. If someone loves you they should have no problem letting their friends know that they’re with you. If my partner refused to, I would feel as if they were ashamed of me OR that they didn’t want to advertise that they’re not single – which is a very bad sign.

What do I think? I’m going to have to agree with leylaxx… in my opinion, making things Facebook official doesn’t help a relationship – it actually complicates it. Once you announce your relationship on Facebook, your private life is no longer private. Say you break up – once you change your relationship status, you’ll have all sorts of people asking you about it at the exact time you don’t want anyone asking about it.

As for people who say that a relationship isn’t official unless it’s on Facebook? I’m sorry, but that’s a little bit ridiculous. Facebook is just a website, it shouldn’t control how you or others see your relationship. Yes, I agree that it’s a little shady if your dude absolutely refuses to make things FB official – but it doesn’t automatically mean he’s cheating. In the end, the most important thing is that you and your partner know your together and you’re both happy – not that all of your 600+ Facebook friends do.

What do you think about making relationships Facebook official? Who do you agree with? Tell us in the comments.

 

Can’t stop checking your boyfriend’s Facebook? Here’s how to stop.


Posted in: Boards, Relationships
Tags: , , , , , , ,

11 Comments

  1. avatarChuck Roderick says:

    To be sincere, not having the status on facebook is one of the main discussions I always have with my girlfriend. Simply, I don`t like it, I don`t think it is of any usage, but she insists that it means I am hidding something. “If I am hidding something, then why you are with me?”. Stuff like that.
    She says that showing the status will avoid casanovas to talk to her, but I believe that no matter the status, if someone is interested in her, that person will contact her. Besides, everybody know we are together! And still we have that problem. Of course, everytime we argue and change it to single we get full of questions from the friends. (sight…*)

  2. avatarSunnyrah says:

    I think it should be up to the couple, but if one person wants to make it fb official and the other doesn’t, I think that’s a huge red flag. In my universal experience it’s the guy, and it’s either because a) he doesn’t think of it relationship and she does, b) he’s embarrassed/ashamed to be associated with her and doesn’t want his friends or family to think he’s serious with her, or c) he wants other women to perceive him as single.

    • avatarAli says:

      It’s me, a girl who doesn’t do it. I use fb most of the time, but I barely update any of my status, post or comment on any friends’ pages. My bf checks in his fb sometimes, but never really uses it. Now he asked why I never post anything referring to him or our relationship. For me it’s also about my insecurity, since he broke up with me 2 moths ago, and I’m glad I never touched the relationship status, so no drama! Besides, I have social anxiety disorder, but he says I have to accept our relationship completely by doing so.

    • avatartwinkle says:

      Why would he want others to appear single if he’s committed in a relationship?

    • avatartwinkle says:

      Why would he want to appear single if he says he is committed in the relationship?

  3. avatarWelshgirl44 says:

    Me and my friends joke about this,

    “Are they seeing each other?”

    “I think so, but they’re not facebook official”

    To us, being “facebook official” just highlights that you are now comfortable as a couple and want everyone to know how happy you can be.

    Unfortunately, it’s awful actually changing the status without knowing what everyone will say… and then when you brake up-you just know rumours start flying!

  4. avatarAlexis says:

    making it “FB official” really don’t mean crap. more than half of your friends on facebook could really care less, heck more than half of them probably don’t live in your city or state as long as the people at your school or close friends or your sister who’s also into him know the deal that’s all that matters you could put i.e. “Sara Thomas is now in a relationship with Alex Fields” people don’t care anymore girls will still flirt with Alex and guys will still flirt with Sara when the time comes it’s up to Sara and Alex to say who they’re with and call it a day.

  5. avatarJ says:

    II dont think its necessary whatsoever to put your relationship status on facebook. In fact, I really dont want to put mine on! Im in a very committed relationship, but it says nothing on my profile. I am a private person, my boyfriend is my business not my facebook friends business. I hardly post anything on facebook to be honest because the world does not need to see it all. As for my boyfriend, when we got together he changed his status to married to his friend thats a chick. She always writes “Oh I miss you sooo much hubby, wish you were here to give me a cuddle, I love you more than words can express” I really could not care less. Hes from Australia, and this girl lives there, and I trust him 100% to not be facebook-cheating on me with his friend haha. I think if you dont trust your boyfriend enough to question him not putting his relationship status as in one with you, then you really have no trust at all and should probably work on yourself.

  6. avatarhuntergwilliams says:

    The only reason we put our relationship on Facebook was because we were proud. We know we’ll be together for a long, long time. So why not brag about it? I have someone who loves me dearly, who actually is WORTH bragging about. And whether it’s FBO or not, if something happens, you’re gonna be questioned one way or the other.

  7. avatarlamiae says:

    I don’t think that it’s necessary to either make it Facebook official or hide it from Facebook. I’ve known plenty of couples who are perfectly content leaving their relationship status away from the prying eyes of aquaintances and haters. But, I do think that it’s a two-way street. If your relationship status is set as single and displayed to the world, isn’t that a free pass for others to pry into your romantic life? Certainly not as controversial, but if you want to keep the details of your love life on the down low, keep it ALL on the down low. It’s almost a slap in the face to visibly pass your virtual self off as single when you’re in a committed relationship. Either tell the truth, or hide your relationship status from the Facebook community!

  8. avatarLilBD says:

    When my boyfriend and I made things “facebook official” it was weird. The comments on mine were filled with “OMG I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!” and then in person someone came up and was “I’m happy you guys are finally together!” and we’re just there awkwardly standing not sure how to react.

    We’d been dating a good while before making it “facebook official” so having to explain that it wasn’t something new was annoying and then the questions on why we hadn’t done it sooner, etc. Just a hassle.

    I don’t think it much matters one way or another if you do or don’t. Though it finally gets my family off my back about not being in a relationship -.- some just can’t mind their own business.

Leave Your Comment

Your email address will not be published.

*

*