From The Message Boards: Would You Give Your Boyfriend A Free Pass?

Ryan Gosling

skaitlin said:
Honestly, I think that in a relationship giving someone a free pass is like saying, “I love you, but I am way more attracted to this other girl and I am hoping that if I give you a free pass, you will give me one too. But I still love you…”

Messed up if you ask me. I think that if you want a free pass or want to give one, then you probably aren’t ready for a relationship. I guess I am just thinking about how I would feel if my boyfriend gave me a free pass or asked for one. I wouldn’t be very happy about it.

What do I think? Well, personally, I would never agree to give my boyfriend a free pass (unless maybe it involved a celebrity – since that’s such a fantasy and most likely won’t happen). I just wouldn’t be able to handle the thought of him being with another girl – that’s cheating! There’s no way around it.

If you’re going to agree to this, make sure you’re agreeing to it because you want to do it and you’re comfortable with it. Never agree to something like this just to please your man. That is only going to result in heartache for you… and it will probably end up ruining your relationship.


Would you give your boyfriend a free pass? Have you ever? Tell us in the comments.


Is it ever okay to be the other woman?

Posted in: Boards, Discuss
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  • Bone

    Just to clarify, a free pass is not cheating.
    Cheating is breaking the rules of your relationship.
    If you offer a free pass then they are playing by the rules.

    Still not saying it’s a good idea, depends on the couple.

  • omar

    i love you girls

  • Jessie

    My fiancee and I have the most amazing relationship. We’ve had a threesome with a stranger and there was no problem whatsoever afterward. He went out of town on business and I went home to visit family and so we weren’t going to see each other for 6 weeks. Telling him I wanted him to enjoy himself since I know how hard he works, I gave my fiancee a free pass, and after he used it, it hurt way more than I thought it would. I thought of myself as a mature liberal who understood the difference between a sexual and emotional relationship. Though I know he loves me, we have a house, a life together, I feel like I’ve stained our beautiful relationship and it will never be the least in my head.

  • Joan Hart

    Anyone who says they would let it slide for a celebritiy is guilty of putting celebrities on a pedestal and treating them as if they were royalty. Celebrities are not that special.
    This culture is sickening and is the main reason we can’t have nice things.

  • seawind

    NO free pass

  • Artie E.J

    Seriously I won’t ask for that, I rather go check it out, without my partner’s knowledge, and if she finds out, then it my job to let her know that though I had a couple of free pass, it was never as sweet as her body, she is my tigeress and nothing would muse me like her. And trust me I would be forgiven.

  • emmsplace

    I totally think that sex is just sex, it’s natural to be attracted to and even think about having sex with people other than your partner. Of course, you need the self control to not act on these feelings if they are going to hurt your partner, who’s feelings you should care about way more than sex with someone else. But if you can both acknowledge that there’s nothing wrong with these feelings and it’s just about sex then that’s even better. I wouldn’t really want my fiance to be with another girl, I’d be worried that if they spent more time together feelings beyond sex might develop, so I prefer to have threesomes etc so I am there, everything is out in the open with no secrets.
    But if you are like no, don’t go near another girl in any circumstances, then he has to accept that.

  • Brittany

    If I was married, I would be much more likely to actually consider giving a free pass.
    I think whether or not my boyfriend/spouse actually took advantage of the pass would say a lot about the state of our relationship and feelings for one another.

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  • Stephanie

    My boyfriend has a celebrity crush on Olivia Munn. So you know what? If he ever ran into her and the opportunity came up, sure I’d let him have a free pass. Honestly, I’d probably high five him because lets face it… she’s hot. My boyfriend loves me and would NEVER do anything to hurt me. Sex is just sex. Purely physical. With me it’s not just sex but emotion as well. So who cares. He sleeps with a celebrity, high five, in the end he’s still coming home to me.

  • Eden

    no its not right if you r with someone that you need to be with them not someone else if u r already in a relationship

  • CerebralComa

    I think a lot of people don’t realize that many people are polyamorous and are perfectly comfortable having open relationships. It’s all about setting the standards at the beginning of the relationship. Many people have the type of relationships where they are emotionally loyal to each other but can have physical relationships with other people. The people in these types of relationships are the people who realize that we, as an animal species, were not necessarily meant to be entirely monogamous (like most species in the animal kingdom). There is absolutely nothing wrong with it as long as the people involves are happy and consensual.

  • Asa Summs

    Giving your boyfriend is just like cheating. I would so have a problem with that.
    I bet that if you gave your boyfriend a free pass he wouldn’t wanna give you one as easy as you gave him one. And I get jealous when a girl is TALKING to my boyfriend let alone having sex with him.

    • keny-mccoy

      right and when u give them one there going to wont more and more passes.

  • Brittany

    Personally, I would NOT let my boyfriend have a free pass. What would be the point of having a relationship if he does other stuff with other girls besides you? Plus, I am the jealous type…