This week, the Los Angeles Times reported a “troubling trend” in teens. According to their hard-hitting reporting, the new hot thing is for girls and guys to guzzle alcohol-based hand sanitizers as a way to get drunk.
When you read the article, the (far less sensational) truth comes out that it was only six dumb kids in the LA area who did this–not 600 or 6,000. And how exactly do six idiot kids without fake IDs constitute a trend?
That’s right. They don’t.
This reminds me of a news story that floated around a while back about teen guys and girls shoving vodka-soaked tampons up their hoohas and butts to get a fix. The entire story was based on speculation. Could it be an urban legend gone wild? I think yes. And remember “rainbow parties” where girls supposedly went to parties wearing different colored lipsticks and gave all the guys blow jobs? (In. Their. Dreams.) I’ve never, ever heard of one of those actually happening, and even the New York Times questioned whether rainbow parties were real.
I’m sick of people pegging teenagers as dangerous, stupid people who can’t control themselves and who do idiotic things to get a thrill. The fact is that most guys and girls are essentially too busy trying to keep up with friends on Twitter, dealing with their first broken heart, and negotiating a passing grade in AP Chem to even think about shoving an alcoholic tampon up their butt or plan a hand-sanitizer-fueled bender. If news outlets really want a story about young people, how about reporting on the fact that teenage drinking is actually on the decline–or that teen pregnancies are at their lowest in over half a century?
Oh, right. I guess that would make teenagers look responsible. And heaven knows we can’t have that.
Do these urban legends about underage drinking trends piss you off, too? Tell me what you think in the comments!