How To Deal With The Death Of A Friend

Hey Girls! It’s Heather–I got an email from a girl asking why she was still so sad about her friend’s death almost a year after it happened. This is pretty serious (and really sad) stuff, so I called in my friend Meg Haston, who’s also got a fancy-pants degree in professional counseling, to help out. Here’s what she had to say:

grieving girl and her motherDon’t grieve alone.
Take time alone when you need it, but try not to isolate yourself. Connecting with others who knew your friend will remind you that you’re not the only one struggling with this loss. Consider joining a grief support group. You can find local groups by contacting hospitals or counseling centers in your area.

Be patient with yourself.
As time goes on, your pain will lessen. I don’t know how long this will take for you, because it’s different for everyone. But please, be patient with yourself. You’ll take exactly the amount of time you need to grieve, and that’s okay. If you find that your sadness is getting consistently worse as time passes, or if you’re starting to feel helpless or hopeless, reach out to a parent or doctor. It may be important for you to talk one-on-one with a counselor.

Find meaning in your experience.
I mentioned above that you will feel normal again, and that’s true. You won’t feel exactly the same way you felt before your friend’s death, though. This was a tragic life event, and you will be changed because of it. Maybe you’ll find strength you never knew you had. Maybe you’ll treasure your current friendships all the more. Eventually, acknowledging those things that you’ll take from the experience is a way to honor your friend. And honoring her a little bit every day will keep her memory alive.

Most of all, just try to take good care of yourself. That’s what your friend would have wanted.

Have you ever had to deal with the death of a friend? How did you get through it? Share your advice with other girls in the comments.

Feeling kind of lost and like no one understands? This might help.


Posted in: Sucky Emotions
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  • Kat

    My boyfriend passed away five days ago. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel so lost and alone. I can’t find words to express how I feel.

  • sarah

    LAST YEAR 3 OF MY FRIENDS DIED IN A HORRIFIC CAR ACCIDENT R.I.P JARETH PARRIS (JARRY) JAKE TODD (TODDY) AND MITCHELL BLACK (BLACKY) <3 FOREVER YOUNG <3

  • sarah

    last three of my friends died in a car accident i’ve never seen my school so quiet :'( like seriously no one talked for weeks it was dead quiet……

    R.I.P JARETH PARRIS,JAKE TODD AND MITCHELL BLACK

    **FOREVER YOUNG**

    I MISS THEM SOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUUUUCH :'(

  • Kayla

    This November will be a two years since my friend passed away. He was such a good kid. He was only 14. It was hard to get over. To be honest I’m still not really over it. But his death brought the whole town together and showed us what true friendship really is. He is still missed and loved and always will be forever. <3

  • Ash

    My friend passed away just over a year ago after a long battle with Ewing cancer, it was really tough, and it really reminds you just how fragile live is. She was 12 and the anniversary of her death is just a few weeks before her birthday, so it’s kind of a double whammy when it comes to painful reminders. She does however have a charity now called the Kristin Kares klub humanitarian foundation, that she’d always dreamed of starting. I try to be involved in it as much as I can because helping to keep her memory gives me strength and helps to keep my memory of her as an individual positive. <3