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Out with the old, in with the new–right? RIGHT?! Now that spring has officially sprung, it’s time to clear out the clutter (and oh, girl, I know you’ve got some clutter!)…but that doesn’t mean you have to be one hundred percent honest about your cleaning routine…does it? Didn’t think so! Here are some of the funny but true things we think about when digging into some good old-fashioned spring cleaning.
Making Room For New Stuff
She said: OK self—if you clean out your closet you can guiltlessly shop for new spring stuff!
She meant: Clean or not, I will be maxing out my credit card at the mall. My old clothes can just deal with it!
Donating Clothes
She said: Mom can you drop off these clothes off at the Salvation Army? I think it’s time I start giving back to the less fortunate.
She meant: OK fine I can’t fit into them anymore. Did you really have to bake all winter long?!?
Cleaning Shortcuts
She said: Great. My blush compact crumbled in my makeup drawer. This is going to be a real treat to clean.
She meant: Or…I could just throw it all out and then have a GREAT excuse to hit up Sephora! I’m so efficient!
Helping Your Sister Clean
She said: Umm…your old green Chucks? With a peace sign drawn on the toe? Nope, haven’t seen them!
She meant: I did you a favor. They’re at the bottom of a landfill by now. Move on.
Digital Clutter
She said: I totally went through my phone last night and deleted like, a thousand random boys who I have no interested in ever talking to again.
She meant: I wrote the numbers down on a piece of paper—you know, just in case Jake/Luke/Brent/Connor/Sid gets back in touch! Which they will. They will.
Totally Not Sentimental
She said: OMG MOM! Stop trying to throw out my XL Abercrombie shirt! I, um, I like to sleep in it, OK??
She meant: I don’t so much sleep in it as sniff it—it was my ex’s and if I close my eyes and concentrate, I can still smell his Axe body spray.
Did you fake your spring cleaning this year? Do you still have a bunch of spring cleaning to do? Tell me everything in the comments!
What Should You Never Say On The Phone? Find Out!
She said: Dude, I have NO IDEA what happened to those jeans that make your butt look so great.
She meant: Sweetie, they stopped fitting you four months ago. The sooner you let go is the sooner I can start wearing them without being questioned.