My Two BFFs Are Fighting & I’m Stuck In The Middle. Help!

Letting your friends know what you think is probably not going to help. Their fight might seem ridiculous to you, but it probably doesn’t seem that way to them. Telling them they’re being stupid is only going to come off as judgmental, and just make them angry at you. The only time you should involve yourself is if things are getting completely out of hand. In that case, tell both of them how much you hate watching them fight. Remind them that they care about each other, and ask if this fight is really worth ruining a friendship over.

Once you say that, don’t make yourself the mediator. They have to make their own decision here, and you going back and forth between them is only going to stress you out. If they want to keep arguing, make it clear that you’re not going to a part of it in any way. And if they want to make up, they will eventually, with or without your help.

And if one of them gets mad at you for not being on her side? Tell her it has nothing to do with her and that you just don’t want to get involved. If she can’t understand that, there’s not much you can do to make her get it. You should never feel like you have to fight just because your best friends are.

take care,
heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

 

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  • vampie

    my 2 friends have been arguing for an entire school year now and all the girls in the year are stuck in the middle not just me. Just about all of us have tried this but it just gets worse. we tried the teachers advice of keeping the apart but that seems impossible because they do the same activities at school. i cant take any more of it and its starting to be the scariest part of going back to school.
    <<<<>>>>

  • Emz

    Thank you very much for this! This is really helpful for me. I have been having a very hard time. Thank you so much! I’ll follow this post.

  • Emily

    I had a situation like this a while ogo. Me and my 2 Bffs are really close. But anyway Michelle started dating this guy. I was happy for her but Carter hated him and just had no way of being happy for Michelle whatsoever. Then they made up. That was long gone when i had an EBM at school with Carter. ( Emergency Bathroom Meating ) saying that Michelle spilled her deepest secrets ever. Then Michelle said yes she did but only because Carter started it. Carter spilled all her secrets. I don’t know what to think. All that it is, is 1. i hate being put in the middle 2. i don’t want to go through them bickering another time.

  • Hi

    My friends were playing a water balloon game 4 fun but they both got aggreive and start biting and stratching eachother they have been friends 4 a long time and i would hate to see them break up. I thought that staying out of it would have been tge best way thanks to ur advice! But now they have gotten back with eachother but not like before..

  • LolzChick

    You may correction: WILL think im really gross but i had a similar situtaion and solved it in a really weird way! I went over to one of their houses and we talked I heard her side completely. I pretended to agree and i kissed her, on the mouth, tounge and all! She did it back and sinceit got her calm i did it to the other girl an decided it can get them alm enough to agree on something!