Ask A Guy: What Do Guys Really Think About Periods?

period sex

Do all guys think menstruation is gross? | Source: ShutterStock

Dear Ethan,

What do guys think about periods? Do they find them totally gross? Are they a huge turnoff? Will a guy still want to have sex with a girl if she has her period? Or will he not even want to make out with her?

Sure, immature guys may think periods are gross, but these are usually the same dudes who deny the fact that girls “go Number 2.” The vast majority of men understand that your period is just a natural part of womanhood. Any guy who’s turned off by the fact that you menstruate simply isn’t ready for sex in general.

With that said, there’s no need to flaunt your period and talk too graphically about it with someone you’ve just begun dating (or have dated for a long time, if your boyfriend is the uneasy type who gets queasy on roller coasters and at horror movies). Just as you could probably do without your boyfriend vividly describing the size and smell of his latest bathroom creation, your boyfriend doesn’t necessarily need to hear every detail about your time of the month.

No need to discuss every detail | Source: ShutterStock

But when it comes to hooking up during your period, male perspectives can be subjective and circumstantial. For example, if you’re comfortable with it, many guys I know have no problem putting their hand “down there” as long as you give them a heads up. On the other hand, though it’s theoretically safe to do so, most guys I know would rather not perform oral sex during menstruation. And vaginal sex seems to split both guys and girls down the middle, as some seem to prefer to wait the period out while others have no problem with it whatsoever. Of course, all of these scenarios also depend on how heavy the flow is.

Speaking of which, I should make a quick public service announcement and mention that regardless of personal preferences, you have to use a condom every time you have sex–even when you’re on your period. Contrary to popular belief, it’s still possible to get pregnant if you have sex on your period, and you have an even higher risk of STD infection during menstruation. The more blood and bodily fluids (i.e. saliva or natural lubrication) involved, the more easily a virus can be transmitted to either partner. True facts! So make sure you’re both protected if you choose to engage in any type of sex–even during your period.

Oh, and if a guy refuses to make out with you at all while you have your period, then he’s probably an ignorant jerk and he’s definitely not for you!

Good luck!
Ethan

Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Ethan, email him at askaguy@gurl.com!

 

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Posted in: Ask A Guy, Love Advice
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48 Comments

  1. avatar James says:

    Ok I really like this guy and the chemistry is great… But then after 8 months , I noticed a girl tagged him on FB and after forcing the truth out of him , he said he had a gf. This killed the trust I had in him and I couldn’t keep the relationship but he does not want to let me go and I can’t stop thinking about him either….I honestly love this guy and I don’t know what to do…

  2. avatar Faithgirl says:

    I just had the most embarrassing thing happen to me just two minutes ago…

  3. avatar Faithgirl says:

    Never thought about shower s. Like that.

  4. avatar Mia says:

    After 10 years my partner now suddenly think it is “dirty” to have sex during this time. I need your opinion.

    • avatar Nicole says:

      Well, I haven’t been with my partner that long but before we had sex I looked a lot, and I mean A LOT, of things up, including this. I’m also a peer leader in a program called Teen PEP, or Teen Prevention Education Program, and we learn all about anything that has to do with relationships to pregnancy to being comfortable with your partner, etc. But, and you might already know this, but there’s this thing called a Diva Cup and its for when you want to have sex during your period. Honestly, I think doing it at that time with out something like the Diva Cup is really gross because period blood is WAAAYY different than regular blood. So next time if you and your partner want to have sex and you’re on your period, maybe try the Diva Cup? I’m pretty sure they’re available in any drug store. Hope this helps!!!

    • avatar NicolleeeD says:

      so im the person who posted the thing about teen pep and diva cups and all that. i realized to make an account after the fact and now cant find my reply :/ but anyway i hope it helped

    • avatar NicolleeeD says:

      i actually dont even know if you got it…if you didnt just hmu

  5. avatar Been a Man says:

    Yeah yeah yeah…. Been a man always will be one. A real man who loves his woman doesn’t care about a little blood. My question regards the safety of period sex without condoms. My partner and I are two faithful people, what’s the risk there? Sincere question btw… A little because you can’t be to sure and because i worry to much, what is our risk of creating an sti?

    • avatar Nicole NJ says:

      So it doesn’t matter if she’s on her period or not, she can still get pregnant and/or an STI. So you should ALWAYS use a condom. And btw, it’s not that you’re “worried”, it’s just you being caring and aware and considerate. Hope this helps!!!

    • avatar NicolleeeD says:

      So, to answer your question, even if she’s on her period, you still have to use a condom. Just because she has her period doesnt mean she cant get pregnant and/or get an STI. And you’re not “worried”, you’re very caring and considerate and your gf is VERY lucky to have someone like you!

  6. avatar BabyBlues says:

    Anybody beside me think Ethan is HOT. Just saying

  7. avatar bloodyMcV says:

    My current boyfriend is a medical student and he gets freaked out at the idea of having period sex. He’s handled dead bodies and all manner of organs but doesn’t care about them. At first I thought I was cool with it, but then I saw articles/opinions like this one from other guys who were fine with period sex! My last boyfriend was fine with it and he introduced me to the idea. I even asked current bf as a joke: “what would you rather have on your penis? dirty poop from having anal or clean blood? “(Sometimes we have anal and he is fine with that) and he can not answer the question! he takes it seriously and wont answer? I happen to be a blood donor so there are people out there with my blood IN them. I didn’t care but its kind of a barrier from feeling closer and more comfortable with him because he doesnt want pussy once a month. It makes me feel weird I have to hide it from him, he cant chat to me in the shower coz im worried he’ll see a bit of red in the water and get grossed out! Dont know how hes going to handle being a doctor! Think I should discuss with him or just live with it?

    • avatar Sophie UK says:

      Your boyfriend is not mature. Medical student or not. Make sure he’s the one for you and you’re not just staying with him for the status. My boyfriend tracks my period and will have inter course during it when it’s lighter. Be true to yourself or you could get hurt.

  8. avatar maddy says:

    Guys know everything trust me. And this goes to anyone if you trust the guy alot then there is no reason to be afraid,shy or scared because its ok actuLly talk about these its just natural yuuh know :) its better to be truthfully then to hide it in

  9. avatar HannahDancer says:

    Ethan, I doubt youre still commenting on this but i hope you do see this for some advice(: I have endometriosis, which is a period condition where i get really sick every time im on my period. im too sick to feel like doing anything sexual during it, but i feel incredibly insecure about it and never tell my boyfriend anything other than im sick and cant see him… weve been dating for 10 months. i feel bad about lying to him at this point but i feel the same way an insecure 12 year old does about it – im afraid he wont want to be cuddly and close if he knows, & i feel like he wont want to help me feel better. so what do i do?

    • avatar Dan says:

      Because Ethan hasn’t replied, I’ll be glad to help you with a male perspective. There’s nothing wrong with any problems you’re having, a guy will always understand if you tell them the truth. If you keep saying that you’re just sick and don’t want to see him, he will more likely think that you’re making excuses up not to see him and (if you say it when the proposition of sex arises) not have intercourse with him. If you just tell him the real reason he will be less inclined to take it personally and thus will be more understanding :) I hope this helped :)

  10. avatar Countrygurl says:

    The guys I know, the only reason they ever talk about a girl’s period is when a girl gets frustrated and then the guys say “Looks like somebody’s on their period”. That really gets on my nerves cause I’m just like um no you’re just pissing me off. Everyone says that your period can affect your mood, but honestly I don’t see a change in my mood when I’m on my period. Is there a reason why?

  11. avatar Mimi-hime says:

    honestly! why do they need to bring up a topic like that??? And, s-shouldn’t we first wait for the right time before doing anything brash and all?

  12. avatar Storm1232 says:

    I find it weird that over half the guys in my grade know what a period is, and they don’t even have girlfrends OR sisters…how does that happen?

    • avatar Ethan Fixell says:

      Depends how old you are? Usually this stuff is discussed in every middle school health class… However, if you’re only in second grade, I agree that it’s weird (and that you type AMAZINGLY for a second grader).

      Ha, thanks for reading Storm!

      -Ethan

    • avatar PinkJinx says:

      Either they read a sex ed book or had a really detailed “the talk” with their parents. Dont forget these guys do have moms who are also females who get a periods. Or maybe they found out via the internet?

    • avatar Lollipop Chainsaw Zed fan says:

      Ha Ha Who knows!!!

  13. avatar Melissa says:

    I take issue with the fact that you said it is possible to get pregnant while on a period. It is, in fact, not possible. The only time pregnancy is possible is about a week after the period when ovulation occurs. Pregnancies that may have occurred during a “period” were probably during a course of spotting and not an actual period as spotting can happen at any time in the female body cycle. Just so you know.

    • avatar Elyse says:

      It uncommon, but it can happen. Womens’ ovulation schedules vary from woman to woman, and it is possible to ovulate and have your period at the same time. Especially with younger women whose periods are still irregular.
      JUST SO YOU KNOW.

    • avatar Brandi says:

      Melissa, you can get pregnant anytime. It doesn’t matter if you are ovulating, on your period, or in limbo between the two. I know many people who thought it was safe to have sex (when they were on their period or in between) and didn’t use protection. Most of them got pregnant. It is rare, but you can get pregnant anytime. Which is why it is so important (besides to prevent STDs) to use a condom and even other birth controls.

      And, you are also wrong about ovulation. It happens about 14 days after your period is finished.

      Hope this helps, since you don’t seem that educated. And I hope this information helps you in the future.

      • avatar Jessica says:

        Brandi, you are correct that it can happen any time, but you are wrong about ovulation time. Take this from someone who has studied natural family planning extensively, and charted for months and months trying to get pregnant. You do not ovulate 14 days after the end of your period. Of course this varies from woman to woman, but most ovulate approximately 14 days from the start of your cycle, which would be Day 1 of regular flow of your period. So depending on the length of your period, it could be anywhere from a couple of days after the end of your period (those unfortunate girls who bleed for a week or more) to up to 11 or 12 days after the end of your period (for those lucky girls who have super short 2-3 day periods).
        There are many ways to prevent pregnancy including abstinence, condoms, pills and natural family planning (and my personal favorite…pull-and-pray) (lol). For those who don’t know what Natural Family Planning is, it is a contraceptive-free method of birth control. It is a mandatory study for many Catholics who wish to marry in the Catholic church, as I did, as the Catholic church does not condone the use of artificial contraception. It is also proven as effective (99.6%), and many times much more effective than birth control pills and condoms. This method simply involves taking your temperature each morning before getting out of bed and charting it to determine when you are preparing to ovulate and when you ovulate. And occasionally noting the amount and consistency of discharge and cervical mucus (because these are big ovulation indicators as well). Anyway…that was probably really out of place here, but just figured I’d drop an info-bomb on unwitting readers. Spread this info around, not enough people know about it!!

        • avatar LA says:

          This method is only effective for women who have regular cycles and are extremely regimented. It impedes spontaneity, requires abstinence when many women’s sexual drive is at it’s peak (during ovulation), does not protect against any STIs, among many other things.

          Due to these restraints, it is not a method that would fit into a lot of people’s lives.

          It’s wonderful that this method was taught, but unfortunately I went to Catholic school as well and most of the people I knew were having sex. With misinformation and a very natural and wonderful sex drive, many girls lacked the knowledge of safer sex practices. This is an incredible disservice.

    • avatar kaye says:

      not true. everyone is completely different. it is pretty much a .00000001 chance, but just say that chance happens. i have a little sister because of a .000000001 chance. so it never hurts to just makedamnsure.

    • avatar NicolleeeD says:

      umm…it is possible. Trust me.

  14. avatar Lauren Dougherty says:

    If a girl is super self-concious about hooking up on her period, then she probably isn’t ready for sex either.

    I have literally never encountered a guy turning down sex because of menstruation. Any guy that’s not an idiot will most likely just be happy to get it in. PERIOD. (muahaha)

    • avatar Ethan Fixell says:

      Good one, Lauren. GOOD ONE.

      But yeah, I’m glad we agree on this!

      -Ethan

    • avatar Stan says:

      I agree with you compleely, Lauren! I am a guy who enjoys sex anytime and all the time. I can have an orgasm whether a girl is in her period or not! I also try to makes sure the girl is comfortable and has a terrific time! I am not afraid of blood.

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  17. avatar werid gurl says:

    my boyfrind is totally cool with it including sex but im the werid one about it im aww shy and avoiding him when its that time of month

  18. avatar jazzzz says:

    i like how the article compared it to a guy talking about his “latest bathroom creation” lol. that’s such a great point. guys shouldn’t be so weird about it but at the same time, we don’t have to talk about it so graphically to them. they don’t want to hear that. I barely want to hear that when I’m talking with my friends. they should understand that it’s a normal part of life and that’s it. they don’t need to know the details. haha that’s just my opinion. that’s what girlfriends are for.

    • avatar Emma says:

      I totally disagree. Men and women both have bowel movements and most people recognise it isn’t interesting or necessary to talk about. (Though I would and have happily exchanged information with my partners on all manner of toilet talk. It doesn’t bother me at all.)
      BUT menstruation is entirely different. It isn’t comparable to a bowel movement.
      Women menstruate for 5 – 7 days. It isn’t a simple, quick process like going to the bathroom. It is a STATE OF BEING which many women exist in for around 25% of their fertile lives. I’ll be damned if I allow myself to surround myself with men who take issue with me speaking about such a huge part of my physical/emotional existence.

      • avatar Ethan Fixell says:

        Hey Emma,

        I hear you, periods and BMs certainly aren’t all that similar — especially since menstruation is ONLY experienced by women. But I think my point, as
        jazzzz pointed out, was that describing any bodily process in detail is probably not necessary. I don’t mean to compare the two in any other way!

        -Ethan

        • avatar nathernotsay..... says:

          i have a question. awkward one tho……im well 14 and have no boyfriend.i dont even think they notice/like me!its kinda dissapointing that they might not notice me…..i try to dress cooler or act cooler around them but it dont work i think…. should i change my image so they like me? wat do boys think about that?i want them to atleast notice me….:(

          • avatar annonymous says:

            I think that if they really liked you then you shouldn’t have to change how you look or act around a guy.If they don’t like you for who you truly are then they aren’t worth it.Someday you’ll find a guy that likes you for who you are so just be yourself .
            hope this helped.

      • avatar Sierra says:

        It doesn’t exactly make you special that you have a period though. Pretty much all girls go through it in their lives. It’s like guys bragging about having “wet dreams”. They all do it. It’s a fact of life. You don’t need to advertise it to the whole world. Most people won’t even care, so why say anything. As my mother always told me, “You’re a big girl now. Just grin and bare it.”

  19. avatar Hi says:

    When I was daing my second boyfriend he was two years older and I was afriad to my cycle up. Like about 7 months of dating he asked me if I even had a period because I showed no symptoms!

  20. avatar AR says:

    My boyfriend is so awkward when I even mention my period. I think it’s because he grew up in a house of boys, so he isn’t used to anyone talking about it, so it’s understandable.

    • avatar Ethan Fixell says:

      Hey AR,

      I grew up in a house of boys, too — it’ll just take him some time to gain some maturity and understanding about it. Hopefully he’ll come to realize it’s SO not a big deal!

      -Ethan

      • avatar Navid says:

        Shower sex anyone? Discuss.

        • avatar Blonde says:

          Shower sex is something to be very careful about. You still need a condom, and you need to be especially careful to avoid slipping and hurting yourself. Besides these few steps, have fun.

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