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Can you make it work? | Source: ShutterStock
There’s no doubt about it: long distance relationships can be really, really hard. It’s true, a lot of the times they don’t work out. All of the separation can cause a lot of strain on two people, even two people who are in love. But just because they’re super difficult, does that mean they never work out?
We saw this topic being discussed in the message boards, and we were curious to see what you guys think about LDRs. Are they worth it? Would you do it? Have you ever done it? Read what these girls had to say and then let us know your thoughts on long distance relationships.
mocca93 asked:
So just wondering, does anybody think long distance relationships can truly work? Do you think long distance relationships can last? Do you think it makes a difference if you’re a senior in high school or a senior in college? And last, how far away does that person have to be for you to consider it “long distance”?
Sometimes, it's too stressful. | Source: ShutterStock
alifear said:
I honestly don’t think they can work. Before I went to University I’d been with my ex-boyfriend for 2 years, we lived together and were engaged. The long distance killed off our relationship. So far I haven’t seen any long distance relationship work
afi_blink_me said:
I know they can work. I have been in one for the past 2 years (sometimes we have been together during that time, but mostly apart) with my fiance. We are 1,350 km away from each other, but we make sure to see each other every 6-8 weeks. Our wedding is December and after that we will never be apart again. I am 24 now and I do think the older you are and the more freedom/money you have the easier it is.
Our opinion? As stated, LDR’s are super difficult. They take a lot of patience and trust and can be really stressful. But we like to think that if two people really love each other and are really dedicated to each other, they can make it work – especially when they know they’ll living much closer together in the future. It will never be easy, but it’s still possible.
Who do you agree with? Have you ever been in an LDR? Tell us in the comments.
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i think a long distance relationship can work,as long as both people want it to.i’m actually in one at the moment and my boyfriend is moving again,but closer to where i am.so my mom agreed that we could visit each other.
it doesn’t work. My partner used and cheated on me and i didn’t know anything…usually people look for their spouses in real life… I think that people just use others “for fun” in the internet…from boredom and loneliness.
that person didn’t really love you if they acted that way. That’s a bad partner, not a fault of distance.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now but he was my best friend before that. I spend most of my time with him and now I’m not sure if I can handle a LDR. He’s planning to join the active airforce and I’m not sure what that means for us. He says he’s doing this to raise money for our wedding but I’d rather he just stay with me and do it some other way.
I feel as though the snecod senario is more damaging because if your in a relationship, then that person should be receiving your undivided attention. I feel as though it is slightly ok to cheat on your spouse but still give your spouse 110%. You can cheat on someone and the person who was cheated with doesn’t have to mean anything to you but they just happened to be that cute at the time. At night you still go home to the person you love the most and give your all to that person because they are there for you as well.
I am in an LDR for a month. People around me say it won’t work and that I’m stupid spending 3 hours on skype webchatting with my bf. After I tell them the story of how we met, they all become amazed about the fact that I actually do something like that. It takes a lot of trust, honesty and work to be in one, but the hardest part, in my opinion, is to tell your parents, at least if you are still living under their roof and they are your financial support. My bf is coming to visit me this December while I’ll have holiday from the university. I don’t know how to tell my parents that I want to spend a week in another city just cause I have an LDR ( 2000 km or 1300 miles. He is in the UK, I am in Latvia) .
Maybe some of those people who have been in an LDR could tell me how they told their parents and made them agree on their kid meeting a total stranger ( since me and my bf met on Facebook and have never met in real life).
My parents had a LDR. My mom lived in Jerusalem and my dad lived in California. It worked out. (Duh. They got married.) But it might be harder before you have complete financial independance and stuff. Don’t rush into the future. I hope it works out, if not, know that you probably are not ment for eachother.
They’re doable, but very hard. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and a half now, and most of that has been LDR because he goes to school an hour away. We’re currently in our longest stretch apart, but we still love each other very much, just as much as we did when we were together. Just because other people haven’t made it work, doesn’t mean it can’t
I hv bn in a long distance relationship 4 about a month then my boyfriend had an accident and he passed away,we loved each other ro much we used to phone each other every day,i dont no what to do i havent found new lv yet pls help.
You were together for one month.
I understand it must have been hard that he passed away and you might not be over that but I don’t know how you could have been in love…
I know they can work. I’ve been in an LDR for almost 2 years now. I’m almost a Junior in high school I moved from Chicago to CA in 2010 my current boyfriend and I met on Facebook and have been distant lovers ever since. We’ve seen each other six times and every moment has been breath taking but LDR’s are difficult it takes a lot more trust and communication than the average couple. If I didn’t have all my family and old friends in Chicago where I could visit often I probably wouldn’t have done it. We talk, text, tweet, chat, or IM everyday we actually have real plans for the future together so the defintion of an LDR to me is having faith and trust in what is unknown.
I just broke it off with my long distance boyfriend, however the distance wasn’t what was the problem. I think that had he been more joking and goofy it really would have worked, but instead he got to be emotionally serious 24/7 and my anxiety just couldn’t handle that kind of pressure anymore. Personally, I think they can work, you just have to be REALLY good at communication for it to work.
I am absolute proof that long distance relationships can work. I met my husband Jim the summer between high school and college. We spent a month together and then we went our separate ways. When we did, Jim said, “If you find someone else who will make you happier than me, then I am not going to stand in your way. Your happiness means more to me.” At first, I was offended, like he was asking permission to see other people. But then he explained that if we were meant to be together, we would find a way to make it work long distance. He had already been burned once and as hard as it would be to lose me, he wanted honesty between us. Back then, there was no texting, no cell phones, no Facebook – it was the ’80s. I won’t lie, it was HARD! My new college friends went out and hooked up with guys and partied. There were times when I felt lonely, insecure. But I knew Jim was special. Communication, trust, not making ultimatums or unreasonable demands or accusations are critical. If he or she doesn’t answer your call or text or whatever, don’t get paranoid. Fear and worry are destructive. Don’t try and micromanage the other person to know what he or she is doing all the time. “Where were you? Who were you with? Do you love me? How come you didn’t call me back right away?
Jim and I only saw each other every six to eight weeks, but then when we did, fireworks were flying! We didn’t spend our time discussing what we did without each other or who we were with and acting all insecure. We sucked everything out of the time we had together. I felt cherished, loved, valued, respected. TRUST is a must! But trust can’t be built without talking. (Texting doesn’t cut it!) If you need constant reassurance, then a long distance relationship is not for you. If you can set your fears aside, if you can use your time away from each other to become the best individuals and make your own dreams become a reality, then the two of you have a chance to come back together and create something beautiful, even magical as a couple.
Four years, four months after our first date, Jim and I married. It’s been over twenty-four years, some tough, some easy, but all with a man who is the love of my life.
That is beautiful and so true It’s like when when I see my Boyfriend we spend more time embracing each other’s touch and kiss and comfort it’s like nothing else exists
i think LDRs can work if the two of them really want it too…And if u make it a point to see each like once or twice a month…But i think it is mainly on how bad to u want to be with that person and if u guys want it to work it will and if there is only one person doing all the work then no it will not work out
I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 10 months now, and he is the most important person in my life. LDR’s takes much more maturity than many people have at a young age. Many people have to stay in a long distance relationship when they are young because they still have to live with their parents.
I’ve been in a LDR with a guy who lives 300 miles away for the last 3 years now. People always ask how we manage it and I think it’s mostly cause we were really good friends before, and so we’ve been used to not seeing each other all the time and making time to skype each other every evening etc. It is a lot of work and it sucks when we have to go for ages without seeing each other but he’s worth it IMO. I’m moving to his hometown this summer to be closer cause the relationship is getting more serious now and although it’s going to be so weird seeing him whenever I want I can’t wait!
I think they can work. I’ve been in a long distance relationship for 4 months already. Almost 5. I know it isnt much time, but it’s something. My boyfriend and I will make 2 years and 2 months tomorrow <3. This long distance crap is SUPER hard, but if you really truely love eachother, it will work out. This has made my relationship with my boyfriend so much stronger. Cus now in days, teens just want a relationship for the physical stuff. But being soooo far away from eachother and knowing that your love and feelings foreachother havent changed a bit really shows you how much you guys mean to eachother. I really miss my boyfriend, but in a way I'm glad I moved. Cus now theres no doubt in my mind that what we have is genuine love <3
I was in one (not by choice) for 3 months when I was in high school. My boyfriend of 2 years moved home to RI from FL and my only option was to stick with him through it. It was supposed to be longer than 3 months that he and his family were gone, but thankfully they came back to FL after a short time. IT WAS VERY HARD! I was so sad all the time because I missed him so much. But we talked all the time and emailed a lot, so technology definitely makes it easier. We have now been together for 7 years and are getting married this December. Sometimes it all works out!