I Can Hear My Parents Having Sex… What Do I Do?

Hearing people having sex

This is one way to deal… | Source: ShutterStock

Hey Heather,

My room is a couple doors down from my parents room. We all go to bed at about the same time. Lately I have been hearing some “oohhs” coming from down the hall and it is really disturbing. What should I do??

Ack! This is definitely a super awkward situation. Hearing anyone having sex can be bad enough, but hearing your parents having sex is a whole other story. I don’t blame you for feeling disturbed, but you do have a few options in order to prevent this from happening again.

I’m not sure what kind of relationship you have with your parents, but if you feel comfortable enough with them to say something, you definitely should. It doesn’t have to be a long, uncomfortable discussion. You can simply pull one of them aside and say, “Hey, this is weird, but I can hear you and Dad/Mom at night. Could you be a little more quiet?”

“Oh, BTW I can hear you guys doing it.” | Source: ShutterStock

If just thinking about saying something like that is making you freak out, then you could try hinting at the situation in a more subtle way. Try casually mentioning that you could hear exactly what they were watching on TV the other night from your room, or that you could hear what they were talking about. It might make them realize that if you can hear that stuff, you can probably also hear them doing it – and maybe they’ll start being a little less loud on their own.

And if both of those options feel totally uncomfortable to you, then you’ll have to figure out a way to drown out the noise on your own. You could try turning up your TV or music really loudly – that will help block them out and it might also be another subtle hint for them to hush up. You can also try going to sleep wearing headphones and listening to your favorite music, or maybe even going to sleep at a different time. But since all of those things are kind of inconvenient to you, I’d really suggest at least trying to hint something to your parents.

Just keep in mind that your parents are humans too – as creepy and gross as it is to think about, they enjoy sex just as much as anyone else. They also most likely don’t realize you can hear them, and finding out that you can is probably going to totally embarrass them. If you decide to say something or hint something, be sensitive to the situation while still getting your point across. And if all else fails – buy a good pair of headphones, girl!

take care,

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com


More advice from Heather: How can you get your parents to let you wear makeup?

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  • Lizzy

    I am in the room next to my parents. I couldn’t get to sleep one night, so i decided to read a book in bed. Then, our half of the house started to shake and get faster and slower. I freaked out and my heart literally just stopped. WHAT THE HECK!! Look, I’m glad i have a parents who maintain a healthy relationship, but this is all way to disturbing. I heard their bedroom door open and someone go to the kitchen.As I was in so much shock I decided to go to the kitchen to re-assure myself that whatever parent it was was fully clothed and it was just the washing machine that was shaking our wooden house. But it was not a parent in pyjamas that i saw in the kitchen. No, it was my dad wrapped in a towel getting out the strawberries and chocolate. I turned back around and headed straight for my bed. After that I have heard squeals and grunts for the past HALF AN HOUR. After that, my parents have had their second shower in the past 2 hours. I was in the huff with them for a week because i was too embarrassed to even look at them. Until they thought something was truly wrong. Then i had to tell them. We haven’t looked each other in the eye for the past two weeks….. yuck

  • Jajkola

    How do I get over being disturbed please help me. I only hear of I get close and they say theyre having a private clnversation as excuse.
    I just want them to stop! They’re not making noise but just I HATE it please please help I feel terrible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Don’t just say “It’s natural” but help
    Me get over being the most disturbed I have been ever in my life.
    When I found out my suspicions were true I was petrified and I am always depressed now.

  • Page*15

    OMG that Happened To ME last Night my Room is right next to there Room and I heard it So I went to my sisters Room and slammed the Door hard and my father runs out there to se if its Oky and he is Naked And I start screaming and they stopped and the Next morning they felt Bad and then they got me A IPAD a TV a new self Phone and new Clothes So then I was like Tx Tx So much put PLZ don’t do it ever Again!!!!!Then they were Like Oky…OkY!!!!Soo Jap it pays of in the END!!!!*

  • Kayleigh

    I feel for you! When I was 15 my younger sister and I were watching TV downstairs and when we came upstairs my parent’s door was closed and the lights were off. I had my suspicions, but they were confirmed a few minutes later when I could hear some noises coming from their bedroom. Obviously parents do it, but it’s always so awkward to have it confirmed. I liked it so much better when I could just pretend that they don’t do that. Even my younger sister (who was 12 at the time), knew what was happening. I only ever heard it once, but that was more than enough!

  • bbmichelle13

    One time my moms boyfriend came over and my mom and I were sleeping in the same bed at my aunts house temporarily and he passed out drunk in his own puke! Eww! So he washed up after waking up and I had to sleep on the couch because he was sleeping in our bed with mom. And he didn’t plan on staying over so he ended up having to sleep naked!!!! I did not know at the time so I knocked on the door to ask my mom sumthin and she said hold on so I knew that meant she had to put clothes on. Ugh! So I asked her and left. A few hours later I came back and I knocked…no answer I walked in and they were bolth asleep and MY candles were lit everywhere and his entire back side was UN covered so I saw his bare butt!!! And my moms leg was wrapped around him!!!! I didn’t sleep all night I felt like I had walked in and saw a dead body! I was scarred for about three months! The next day I was standing in there with mom( I wouldn’t dare touch that bed) and she still had all my candles sitting out and her black lingerie was peeking out from underneath the bed. Ahhhhhhh!! I was beyond mad her but she thought it was because he stayed over. And it was school night so I didn’t sleep a wink on that lumpy couch. So she let me stay home grrrrrrr

  • Alexandra

    I feel your pain
    I am fifteen and my room is right next to theirs and heard them so I left and went downstairs. A little while later my mom comes down in only a robe(now confirming what I thought was happening) and tried to have a casual conversation with me by asking what I was doing. Finally she left when I said I want to be alone.
    It’s SOOO AWKWARD! I know parents have sex and it’s good for them too but to seriously have sex and be loud enough for me and my younger sister (14) to hear them EVERY time.
    It’s also bad when they bring up about wanting another kid. I don think anything could make me more scared to go bed when they do.
    Now I try and go to bed an hour or two after them so I don’t have to hear it.

  • Happyflower356

    Im 11 and my mom and her boyfriend were really going at it in the NEXT ROOM and I could hear them moning and groning I was traumatized.the next morning I couldn’t even look at them so I told my mom to keep it down a little in the bedroom and it got a little better. Now I just where headphones whenever they do it so i feel your pain!

  • Anonymous

    My family is pretty open about saying stuff. So I just told my parents that they were going to have to keep it down! The walls are thin! Lol. No harm done. Don’t make it awkward! I know some families don’t really talk about sex openly though. So best of luck!

    Try listening to your iPod loud? 🙂 Good luck!

  • Kay

    I know how it feels…my younger sister and brother used to sleep with my parents and once, when my parents were out late one night, when it was around 11am… I could hear them doing it !!! The next morning my sister and brother were joking and whispering about my parents being naked and kissing and all tht stuff !!!! SUPER awkward !!!!

    • bbmichelle13

      Whoa! That’s just plain wrong to have sex with your children in the room!

  • Tara

    Yeah its totally awkward! I bury my head under my pillow or listen to music…that always helps

  • danielle

    i know how it feels, ive walked in on my parents as well. It was really awkward cause i saw my dads arse and he quickly pulled the quilt over him. I quickly ran out and shut the door, i was grimed out and didnt know what to think…… Ive heard them more than once though, cause when im with family i have to sleep on the floor next to them whilst their in bed, and i hear them talking and heard them having it. i cant get the picture or sounds out my head and it happened about 3-6 months ago:// xoxo

  • Jessica

    What’s even more awkward is hearing your friends parents doing it. I was staying over at my friends house while my parents were out of town and like the last night i was there they started going at it like rabbits. It was soooo awkward.

  • Sammy

    I feel your pain! Im 15 and I walked in on my parents once and when i walked out i could hear them tryig to lock the door but it wouldnt lock! Its like what happened in Modern Family, I didnt say anything but last night i heard them so i banged on the wall an bbm’d them to ‘please turn off the music’. And years ago my older sister (17) found 12 condoms in thier room talk about awkward !

    • disqus_UF3bI7QUCu

      That’s a LOT

  • MB

    If dat isnt bad enough..try SEEING your parents at it. Thats wt happend to me!

  • Kayla

    Sooo sorry. That happened to me a few times in high school (honestly, that was one of the things I looked forward to about college–not being anywhere NEAR them at night).

    I talked to my Mom about it (actually not in a very nice way), so hopefully talking to whichever parent you’re more comfortable with will help.

    Also, if you tell them it’s keeping you from sleeping, they’ll feel bad and hopefully STFU.

  • Jordan

    The same thing happened to me!!! It was really disgusting and i could barely look at my parents the next morning! I let it slide the first time but after a month of it, i couldnt take it anymore! In the single most awkward moment of my life, i walked up to my mom and said “hi mom im glad you and dad are still getting together and all but could you keep it down? Ok bye.” i then drove to my best friends house and drowned my embarrassment with pretty little liars and popcorn lol

  • Melissa

    I had the same problem! If I ever hear them now, I go for the simple option: “hey! Turn it down in there!” lol

  • rae

    sounds bad, hope it was solved!

  • Jaime

    Oooh that’s sooo awkward!!!!! Poor you. It think heathers right you need to say something!!! Even just mentioning you can here there t.v at night and it’s hard to sleep might make them realize how awkward it is for you!!! Xo

  • Casey

    OMG talk about awkward! I feel so bad for you. hope the situation got resolved.

    • Bert

      bro get an mp3 ow