I Can Hear My Parents Having Sex… What Do I Do?

Hearing people having sex

This is one way to deal… | Source: ShutterStock

Hey Heather,

My room is a couple doors down from my parents room. We all go to bed at about the same time. Lately I have been hearing some “oohhs” coming from down the hall and it is really disturbing. What should I do??

Ack! This is definitely a super awkward situation. Hearing anyone having sex can be bad enough, but hearing your parents having sex is a whole other story. I don’t blame you for feeling disturbed, but you do have a few options in order to prevent this from happening again.

I’m not sure what kind of relationship you have with your parents, but if you feel comfortable enough with them to say something, you definitely should. It doesn’t have to be a long, uncomfortable discussion. You can simply pull one of them aside and say, “Hey, this is weird, but I can hear you and Dad/Mom at night. Could you be a little more quiet?”

“Oh, BTW I can hear you guys doing it.” | Source: ShutterStock

If just thinking about saying something like that is making you freak out, then you could try hinting at the situation in a more subtle way. Try casually mentioning that you could hear exactly what they were watching on TV the other night from your room, or that you could hear what they were talking about. It might make them realize that if you can hear that stuff, you can probably also hear them doing it – and maybe they’ll start being a little less loud on their own.

And if both of those options feel totally uncomfortable to you, then you’ll have to figure out a way to drown out the noise on your own. You could try turning up your TV or music really loudly – that will help block them out and it might also be another subtle hint for them to hush up. You can also try going to sleep wearing headphones and listening to your favorite music, or maybe even going to sleep at a different time. But since all of those things are kind of inconvenient to you, I’d really suggest at least trying to hint something to your parents.

Just keep in mind that your parents are humans too – as creepy and gross as it is to think about, they enjoy sex just as much as anyone else. They also most likely don’t realize you can hear them, and finding out that you can is probably going to totally embarrass them. If you decide to say something or hint something, be sensitive to the situation while still getting your point across. And if all else fails – buy a good pair of headphones, girl!

take care,

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com


More advice from Heather: How can you get your parents to let you wear makeup?

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  • Emily Jane Gee

    im 10 and i hear it i freak out if i turn on my tv they will walk in my room and tell me off what do i do!

  • Mikky

    I need help! My mom and dad are doing it and I am really shy and my dad doesn’t take stuff seriously. And I am embarrassed to say stuff like that. I’ve already herd them twice. I am the closest to there room, they don’t even have a door!!! And I am scared my little brother might catch them. And I cry each time, because I don’t like that stuff. I am only 12. I need help and I want them to be happy…… But I don’t like it when they do it, it scares me that hear my mom groan like that, please

    • Ellie

      Me too I’m 12 and they just did it and I’m right next door to them with my little sister asleep in the same room as them! It makes me cry and shake every time I hear it, it disgusts me especially with my sister in there too

      • disqus_UF3bI7QUCu

        Yeah, that’s super disrespectful and extremely disgusting. This is like energy rape. Like raping the energy of those around them.

    • Stäbby Cølä

      I’m also 12 and tonight was the second time I heard my dad and his girlfriend doing it. first time my brother heard it too but luckily this time he was asleep. and I feel very disrespected because my mom and dad share custody over me and my brother, so my dad has at least 3 days by himself. but no he has to do it while we’re here. I felt more nervous then upset (I still was upset) and then ten seconds after they done it they Walk out and just sit in the living room watching TV, and that’s what happened tonight. and it’s a school night too. weird part is, the first week when she moved in my dad just said she was a friend. I just learned the truth about 3 days after that. they stole my room also, and they didn’t even warn me! my dad was talking to me about he was gonna take my room but I didn’t know it was gonna happen this soon! ; 0;

  • Enraged Unicorn

    I was in the living room finishing up my essay when I heard them,they had the TV on but I could still hear them since I was sitting in the couch closest to the wall.It was extremely embarrassing and I began shaking nonstop,I moved onto the couch farthest away and I guess they heard me moving because they stopped.I plugged in my earphones and kept working.About 10 minutes later my mum comes out in a robe and asks me if I’m done,I was pretty sure I was blushing like crazy,I’m pretty surprised I was able to look up at my mom and respond without stuttering.I hope I’m able to face them tommorow without being awkward.I guess I should just go to my room and finish up my essay tommorow -_-

  • hi

    I dont have a probalome I jest sit and listen

    • disqus_UF3bI7QUCu

      Hahahah and jack off I bet

  • paris miracle

    My mom and my step dad just had sex few hours ago and i woke up, wanted to go to the bathroom then i hear my mom moaning and squishy sounds. I saw them do it like 3 times, but i swear they did it more than that. My mom always complain how she hates my stepdad but she still have sex with him. I tried to go back to sleep but all that moaning and bed moving is just to disturbing. i have a seven years old little sister and i dont want to let her know what the heck is sex yet. last time i saw my mom had sex was when we lived in a rented place and their bed was next to us and i heard a lot of moaning. this time i saw them do it and i wanted to cry and leave the house forever and never talk to my mom again but i cant do it. i heard them kiss insanely, my mom wanting more, squishy sound and saw them doing alot of different pose. i know this much thanks to them i really dont want to know about it but know its stuck in my mind forever. What should i do?

    Your Very Truly,
    an eleven years old

    • I got you right here. Mine? They do it almost every night. I don’t know if I’m mistaken, but I SWEAR I can hear moans, and licks, and slow whispers, and the banging IS SO LOUD! URGH! My advice? Just say something. You can do it in a comedic way, if their doing it with the door closed, run up quickly, bang on their door and shout “OH MY GOD! IS SOMEONE HAVING A HEARTATTACK? SHOULD I CALL 911!?” Or, if your more serious, wake up before them, and eat breakfast. When one of them walks in the room, say “Look, it’s great you and dad love eachother, but PLEASE keep it down at night. Some people are trying to sleep y’know?” Or, you could yell at them to turn their tv/radio down. This will give them a hint to be more quiet, or shut up entirely. Hope this helped.

  • abi

    Say something or listen to music on full volume but it you do say something you can hint things like dad/mum can you tern down the TV please because I can had you then they will get the hint and will be more quiet but remember however gross it is your parents are human and need to express there feelings plus one day you will too

    • disqus_UF3bI7QUCu

      They’re being disrespectful though. There’s no excuse except being a d***.

    • disqus_UF3bI7QUCu

      If I were to have xxx one day, I would never do it with my kids home. I medically can’t do it anyway.

  • Serenity

    My mom and her boyfriend have sex and she KNOWS I hear it, and I confronted her about it and she GOT ANGRY and told me to mind my own business! I feel so disrespected! I, as a thirteen year old, should not have to hear my mom having sex with her boyfriend in the room right next to mine! Tonight is new years eve I KNOW they are going to do it and she got mad when I asked her not to! I can’t believe my mom wants me to stay awake KNOWING she is having sex! I’m so angry!

  • lewis Adams

    im 12 and my parents are right next door to me doing it what do i

    • Emily Jane Gee

      Its best to put your earphones into your laptop phone or tablet or ipad just try to drown out the sound but dont be too noisy or they will hear you

      • disqus_UF3bI7QUCu

        Or be noisy af just like their stupid a**es

  • Jay

    I was in my eoo. Just now and heard my mom and he boyfriend doing it. I feel sooo disrespected because my room is so close and I know they knew I was awake. U rwxt my boyfriend but he fekk asleep. My little brother was two doors down and he was asleep, in glad. I’m going to approach her tomorrow or ignore her. Ill see. I can’t even sleep now, I’m upset.

  • randomer

    I have heard my parents too and It totally freaked me out they weren’t even trying to hide it 🙁

  • Abbey

    I know it awkward my room is next to my parents room I get how u feel sometimes I hear oohs ahhs. And harder I start to cry then I text my best friend ever for help she doesn’t understand what is happening BC her mom can’t have sex because of her hip it is soo loud when it happens but think of other things listen to music or something then it’s over before you know it but I hate when I’m sick or watch a movie with them in their room on their bed BC I know what they’ve done so drown it out then sooner or later you’ll fall asleep