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This is one way to deal... | Source: ShutterStock
Hey Heather,
My room is a couple doors down from my parents room. We all go to bed at about the same time. Lately I have been hearing some “oohhs” coming from down the hall and it is really disturbing. What should I do??
Ack! This is definitely a super awkward situation. Hearing anyone having sex can be bad enough, but hearing your parents having sex is a whole other story. I don’t blame you for feeling disturbed, but you do have a few options in order to prevent this from happening again.
I’m not sure what kind of relationship you have with your parents, but if you feel comfortable enough with them to say something, you definitely should. It doesn’t have to be a long, uncomfortable discussion. You can simply pull one of them aside and say, “Hey, this is weird, but I can hear you and Dad/Mom at night. Could you be a little more quiet?”
"Oh, BTW I can hear you guys doing it." | Source: ShutterStock
If just thinking about saying something like that is making you freak out, then you could try hinting at the situation in a more subtle way. Try casually mentioning that you could hear exactly what they were watching on TV the other night from your room, or that you could hear what they were talking about. It might make them realize that if you can hear that stuff, you can probably also hear them doing it – and maybe they’ll start being a little less loud on their own.
And if both of those options feel totally uncomfortable to you, then you’ll have to figure out a way to drown out the noise on your own. You could try turning up your TV or music really loudly – that will help block them out and it might also be another subtle hint for them to hush up. You can also try going to sleep wearing headphones and listening to your favorite music, or maybe even going to sleep at a different time. But since all of those things are kind of inconvenient to you, I’d really suggest at least trying to hint something to your parents.
Just keep in mind that your parents are humans too – as creepy and gross as it is to think about, they enjoy sex just as much as anyone else. They also most likely don’t realize you can hear them, and finding out that you can is probably going to totally embarrass them. If you decide to say something or hint something, be sensitive to the situation while still getting your point across. And if all else fails – buy a good pair of headphones, girl!
take care,
heather
What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com
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every night i go to bed scared of hearing my parents moan and thupping noises…i end up plugging my ears for twenty minetes later getting finger cramps. then during the day i notice their code for it…….the worst part is im still in middle school and have to live with this the next couple years of my life…..i keep on thinking about talking with my health teacher about it..but i mean tht would b so akward….and if i tell them i cant sleep they just get mad at me….i
i hear my parent having sex and it ready make me mad because it was in the monring and i was sleeping but they weak me up i got up when down stair but i could still hear them when they was done they came out side i was in down stair and they ask me what you doing did you sleep here last night i said no i just came here i feel like sitting here so i just when in my room because i am scared to tell them what i hear.so is the any way you can help me.
I am 12, but I’m not clueless or stupid. I guess I always heard them but just thought they were talking? So a couple of months ago I first heard my mom and step dad. I started feeling sick and immediately screamed SHUT UP at the top of my lungs. So then I just hid in my bed, waiting for one of them to storm into my room and scald me. It never happened and by 1 am I finally made myself go to sleep. The next day I found out that my little brother had heard too but didn’t know what it was. I decided that that was too much for my brother at 8! So I confronted my mom to find out that she hadn’t even heard me.
I think what was worse about the second time is that my mom came in and yelled at me… I heard again, while minding my own business. I start to feel ill again and immediately scream SHUT UP! JESUS CHRIST YOU GUYS!, making sure they could hear me. I didn’t know what was coming out of my mouth until I heard it. The next thing I know is my mom swinging my door open and saying,
“Did you hear the bed, or what?”
There was an instant that I thought I had been wrong about what I heard and that they were just talking…. so I replied,
“You! You guys are talking really loud…”
“Haley, we were having sex and you know it!”
That awkward, gross moment of realization.
And the conversation went on, my mom being totally unreasonable. She just compared the situation to her own experiences, as if that would make it any better. I ended up in tears, mostly because she purposely made me feel as if it was all my fault. I screamed because it was just instinct. I ended up crying for 3 hours…. The thing that got to me the most is that she KNEW I wasn’t asleep, it was 8:50….
The next night I am asleep and the next thing I know is my mom is standing there telling me I need to go to the doctor. Apparently what had happened was in my sleep I screamed SHUT UP. My mom came in and asked me what was wrong etc. I had done it in my sleep. Ever since then I’ve been so paranoid… not ever knowing when it’ll be safe to turn down my TV. It. Is. In. My. Head. Im not being a perv, I don’t want it there, trust me. I don’t even know why I went into such detail. I just needed to get it all out there? If your still reading then your awesome for hearing me out. BTW music doesnt work for me since I have no music on my iPod and youtube is out of the question. Sorry for the long story…
omgg im 15 and here my parents having sex as well, its always like right in the morning. Dont they know i can obviously hear them since our bedrooms are RIGHT beside eachothers comon. Ive come on these advice websites cuz i needa find out what to do. I cant take this anymore… thanks Heather
i am also 13 years old and can hear my mother and her boyfriend having sex from a couple rooms away and it gets so awkward that when i hear them do it i am too scared to even walk past their bedroom and now i just feel disgusted by sex altogether so i am determined to be a virgin for the rest of my life(it might sound immature but i really do feel creeped out just by even mentioning it)
i have the same problem.
Ok so im 13 and i just heard the Most horrriblee thing in my life …..my …..parents ….haveing sex nd the guy is my step dad .So i had feel asleep last night watching too cute : puppies a show on animal then i wake around 2 : 45 am nd hear a bed creaking nd i hear ” oooooo ” ” shit” “yeaaa” nd i back from the door like “whoaaaaa there ” nd i didnt beileave what i was hearing my heart started beating fast at disgust nd anger i pinched my self to make i wasnt dreamin then i noticed that this was real .I shot of to my room nd jumped in my bed nd tried to forget it that was hard nd i feel back asleep an hr later nd during that time i could still hear them the same night i had a dream ndbthey were doing it in the bathroom nd i was in there nd a couldnt escape … That night was like hell nd i woke back up around 5:10 nd i didnt go back to sleep to sleep that night ps. I am tellin yall this at 6:10am so this is a current story everybody is asleep now / Thanks god / but i idk how to Tell them so it won t happened again Omg whyyyyyy meeee?????
I advise you not to scream at them like I did if your parents are anything like me….
When I was 8 I stayed up late and would always here noises with the door shut and 9 I kinda knew what is was they did but I am 10 and we are about to do the sex bid at school 1 week but I mean one time I had a nightmare and woke up and a black touched me there’s more but it’s a long story and I went by my dad no underwear on I was 8!!!!!!!!!! Not looking forward to masturbation at school:(