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When Taylor was 19, she dated John Mayer who was 32 (and a jerk!) | Source: INF Photo
Often when people hear this, they think he took advantage of me, or that he was preying on young girls–but the reality is that I sought him out. I saw him at a dance club one night and thought he was super beautiful. I marched up to him, told him I thought he was cute, and from the minute we started dancing until the end of that summer when I moved abroad for school, we were inseparable.
He was really popular in the club scene, so a ton of people knew him (or at least knew of him)–but a lot of people worried about me being with him, and not just because they didn’t like me dating an older guy! My elder Romeo had a pretty bad reputation. He’d been married and divorced already, was a recovering alcoholic, was known to do drugs, and it was rumored he’d slept with just about every girl in town. I knew all of this, and the truth is, that’s exactly why I wanted to date him.
Up until then, I’d only had two real boyfriends–both of them were super sweet and so good to me–but both of those relationships were so serious. I wanted to finally date someone just for fun–just to go out and make out and have it not be this whole dramatic epic romance. I thought with this guy, it definitely wouldn’t be. Plus, I loved how dangerous he seemed. He was exciting in a totally different way than the boys I’d dated before.
When she was 20, she dated Jake who was 29! | Source: INF Photo
It all made sense–and came to a very disappointing end–when he finally admitted that he’d fallen in love with me. That he hadn’t loved anyone as much as me since his wife. Here I was looking for my first no-strings fling, and Mr. Dangerous had turned into a big, mushy “I want a commitment” puppy dog. Woah. This was way more than I was looking for–and more than I could handle.
Luckily, I already had plans to leave The States and study abroad that September, so I had an easy out. Over the years, I’ve looked back on those few months with him and although I totally understand why I was into it, and what I was looking for in that relationship–I still can’t quite understand what was in it for him (of course, besides my sparkling personality and drop-dead looks–I kid! I kid!). Maybe I made him feel younger? I have no idea.
The bottom line is, I was really fortunate that he was so good to me at a point where some really bad things could have happened. A lot of guys who date girls that much younger than them are predators. I know girls who’ve dated much older guys and been completely taken advantage of.
Obviously I can’t tell you not to date an older guy after telling you a story like mine–but if you are, or if you’re thinking about it, just make sure he’s really respectful of you, that you never feel forced into anything, and that your friends or family know about him and know where you are. I don’t have any regrets, and I don’t want you to, either.
Have you ever dated an older guy? Are you dating an older guy right now? What do you think about an 11-year age difference? Tell me everything in the comments!
Are You Into Younger Guys? So Is This Girl!
Would You Rather?
This or That
I was also 19 and he was 30. I’ll to keep it short. Long story short, I met this guy who was 10 yrs older than me. When we first locked eyes i just felt he was the one. Boy was I wrong in the end. Well we both decided we wanted to get to know each other, but we barely did. He had a son who was 7. We talked for about 3 months before we had sex. After we had sex, it had changed my life forever. Shortly after dating him for 6 months I ended up pregnant. When i found out I was pregnant i was hurt and felt like my life was over, but it had just began. When I told him I was pregnant he was scared and wanted me to get an abortion, but i just couldn’t! He then was being very selfish and ignored me my whole pregnancy. I had seen pictures of him and his child’s mother hanging out at celebrating his birthday and everything. I was hurt. But I didn’t realise dating an older man would such a problem until I ended up pregnant. He had already had a past with his ex/child’s mother that I just knew they would get back together… There was nothing I could’ve done. I have learned so much from this experience! My advice would be if u want to date an older guy to make sure its on a friend level, and if you do sleep with him make sure he has no bagage. I knew that he still loved his child’s mother which hurt me so. Because I fell in love with him. But make sure you get to KNOW them before anything. Because if you don’t you may end up hurt like me. God Bless!
I just want to ask every women here that dated an older man:
are you willing to date a man that is 65 years and older but broke?
OMG I cannot believe how some girls think and how they can let their minds be manipulated by society to make us believe that older guys are BAD and that if we do go out with a much older guy, somehow he has manipulated us or has taken advantage of us. Do you really think that we can be taken advantage of. Dont you think that if a girl wanted to go out with an older guy that it is about the both of us making that combined decision ? How dumb do people/ society think we are. Cant it be that I made that decision and it wasnt the guy who forced me into a relationship? Why do we allow society to assume that we are dumb or somehow feel that we are incapable of making our own minds up? What is this obsession with age differences? Why is there even a question about this? Isn’t this about choice and about who we like and want to have a relationship with? Why shouldnt I be allowed to love someone older or have sex with someone older? Why is it wrong?
Older guys are far more fun, far more mature and confident and from my own experience more interesting, experienced and secure. I love to be with an older guy. They are men ! not pretty boys who need their moms around.
Yes some older guys can manipulate, but we are not dumb to be manipulated unless we let ourselves be in that situation. On the other hand we have bad guys, more like dumb guys, our age. So it isnt just that the older guys are bad. Get over this silly nonsense.
And finally, LOL, the sex is great, awesome, fantastic with a mature older guy. I would rather have an older guy and, I dont care if it is illegal or not, than a pimply, scrawny, smelly, gawky, childish guy my age. Give me an older guy..ANY DAY !!!
So does this means that you will be willing to date and even marry a 70 year broke man?
You seem to be so fixated on age!!!! Why dont you look at personality, maturity, demeanour, sophistication etc etc. I think you are using extreme examples. Looks like you are hitting below the belt to try and substantiate your opinion. Very poor example. Sorry.
I don’t think there is anything wrong, some girls do feel attracted to elder guys, so just respect their personality
Dating older is really no different than dating younger or the same age…
I’m talking about similar things in this post
http://howtogetaguytolikeyou.co/dating-an-older-guy/
I am 17 going on 18 and in the course of the year after my 17th birthday I have dated two guys much older than the average age I date. My oldest exboyfriend turned 31 in august and we started dating two days after my birthday and were together for almost 5 months. I was happy and the fact that he was technically old enough to be my father and just 8 years younger than my mother didn’t really bother me, nor did it bother me that he has a one year old daughter. What bothered me was that there was something missing. I broke up with him a month before his birthday. My current boyfriend turned 27 last month. We started dating two days before his birthday. Our relationship has what the other was missing and I am happy and so is he. Both of us have clearly expressed that we are most afraid of getting hurt. What scares me with my current boyfriend is that I feel like I need him. In 4 days it’ll be one month and the feeling scares me to death, but I am happy and I don’t want to lose him, at least not yet. I have always had a thing for older guys. The range used to be 1-5 years older. It has nothing to do with the money, I test my limits with everything I do and most people believe it could be because I have never had a positive adult male in my life except for my grandfather.
well my name is is kelly serrano i am now currently 14 but when i was 12 years i dated an older guy he was 34 years old and well at first eveything went well but after a while i found out he fell in love with me but an major obession i would call it and he forced me to have sex with him so it was a rape..soo with this i would want to tell you that never date an older guy because later you may regret really bad !
But you said you liked him at first ! Then you changed your mind because you had sex and because of your age you now say he raped you ? wow ! I cant believe how you can like a guy and then agree to having sex and then say he raped you….mmmmmm. Sounds so immature. Seems like you have major issues with indecision. You seem to be aware of what is “illegal” but decided to date him and enjoyed that situation for a while. Why did you go out with him in the first place????
Firstly when a girl announces her name to an alien audience it means she is telling a lie. Next, you say you were 12 when you dated a 34 yr old man! Wow you must have been either very brave or you must have really really loved this guy. My question is, how did you manage to hide this from your parents, friends, neighbours, relatives, school friends, best friends, society in general. Girls or children of age 12 are still very much supervised and chaperoned around. 99.9% of girls your age are very much supervised and have to be home at a certain time and are picked up and dropped off at school, or they go to school in a group or by school bus etc. How did you manage to hide this from all of those people when in fact you werent of an age to have an independance existance. If you were able to manage to secretely have this relationship you must have loved him enough to be able to cover for him. So you must have been obsessive too, to be able cover your tracks.
I am not saying being with him was wrong. All I am saying is that you went out of your way to have a relationship with this guy and you knew what was right and what was wrong and if you were hiding this from others you must have known that this could have landed you both is some severe problems and thats why you hid this relationship.
I am 19 and my partner is almost 40. Ive been with him a few years now and like you I hid my relationship very well for years because I was very young then. I was quite confident that I knew he was the one and that I wanted to be with him. No one was going to take that from me. I was determined to have the relationship. I wasn’t scared at all. No one found out. He’s been the best friend, lover, confidant, teacher and soul mate I could have ever found. Your advice that all older guys are bad is such rubbish and very childish. My experience with my bf has been so rewarding.
I am sure the reason for the two of you breaking up is much more than your accusation that he forced you to have sex. Sounds like sour grapes. Did he dump you because he found you too insecure? Didnt you know that relationships do involve sex at some stage? There is nothing wrong with sex. It is a natural and normal part of a relationship. Plz dont try and make this a dirty campaign or a smear campaign making all older guys appear bad. That is so pathetic and very childish to do that.
Your story sounds like a big lie for reasons I have already mentioned. Try to be less manipulative and mean.
You OFFERED yourself to him and now you cry that he used you and FORCED you. You are totally f***** up. Learn to take responsibility. If you enjoyed the relationship and you went out of your way to hide the relationship, you dont have any reason to blame the guy. Just because the law is so f***** up and will take your side, doesn’t make it right. So you are complaining that he fell in love with you. This is so dumb and irritating. You make yourself sound like such a drama queen. No wonder he dumped you.
I’m dating a man 11 years my senior and I dont know how to tell my family. We’ve known eachother quite a while and the transition to a romantic relationship was very gradual and I’ve never once felt pressured. I’m just stuck on telling my family. All advice is appreciated!
I’m almost 18 years old and I’ve been talking to a 23 year old that I work with for almost 7 months. We haven’t gone exclusive, nor have we went on any dates together. He’s so respectful of me and I can trust him with anything. He’s helped me through so much and through it all I have completely fallen for him. I’m not sure if he feels the same way because we have never really talked about it. But i think he has to have some sort of feelings for me if he’s risking this much, considering he’s my sisters friend and she has NO idea. And she would not be happy about it. I’ve never dated an older guy and he’s never dated anyone more than two years younger than him. I also used to date his brother who is closer to my age so clearly he’s taking a big risk. But he drives me home from work and we hookup and hang out, but we haven’t had sex. I don’t want to stop talking to him at all and all i want is for him to fall in love with me even if I can’t make him obviously. If anyone has any sort of advice for me it would be wonderful!
I’m only 15 and there’s this student teacher at my school. He helps teach us history. And the years almost over, but I have this schoolgirl crush on him!!! He’s like 24 maybe. But still. Ugh idunno what to do !
My boyfriend and I are 11.5 years apart. He just turned 32 and I turn 21 here soon. We have been together almost a year now and things are great. If you two respect eachother and the differences you have, things will be just fine. We have our ups and downs just like any normal relationship but we always pull through just fine and come back stronger than before. I wasnt too sure about him when I first met him because I wasnt sure what a 31 year old wanted to do with a 19 year old but he proved himself and we are best friends. I couldnt imagine life without him now!
am twenty nine years and i have since i was 16 dated older guys. Honestly older guys treat girls better if u find the right ones like some of these storys…i have been with someone that is 14 years older then me and honestly out of all the guys i dated he has to be the most upstand guy u would ever meet….and i have been with someone that is 11 years older then me and i find i have more incommon with them then i do with guys my age or around my age…Some guys only think of one thing and one thing only and i know alot of girls that dont want to have sex intill they are married and i think older guys in a way understand that…Guys younger dont care as long has they are happy and older men looks at it both ways.
wooowww my story is close to hers i have 6 year age diffrence i was 15 and he was 21 when i we meet he was under standing and didnt pressure me and i was being a bad girl back then my mom got me drunk then i went to his place to get my first time over with but all he did was give me a kiss on the forehead tuck me i his bed and went to sleep in the couch and 5 years later were married and have a child
I’m almost 16 years old, and honestly I have never been attracted to guys my age. The guys I’ve had a crush on have always been at least 20 at the youngest. Every time I meet a guy my age I will either be attracted to them because they look older or I won’t because they don’t. It’s a mix between appearance and their maturity level I like the way older guys look, and the way they know what to do. Guys my age usually have nothing better to do than to make jokes about girls boobs and sex. It’s just the way I am and though I know dating an older guy might not be a good idea, I also know that dating a guy my age right now would not be what I want in a guy.
I’m nineteen years old, I used to casually date a fourty seven year old man for a while. i met him at work, and decided I had a school girl crush on him, nothing more. After I told him, it went absolutely crazy. He was in disbelief, he was shocked and surprised. I’m not sure why, I believe he was a bit of a flirt with just about everyone. But me and him started seeing each other, it got weird at first cuz we were making out in parking lots then eventually after asking I found out he’d been seperated from his wife for quite a while and his 17 year old son lives with him. The age difference between me and his son wasn’t a big deal to me, but me and him were so similar it was tearing us apart. At one point he started getting serious when I was backing off and when I was getting serious he’d back off. But he eventually asked me to move in with him, but were very good friends still and we accepted the fact that its unrealistic for us to be serious. No matter what he knows I have very deep, serious feelings for him though.