Boards
Why does he get so bummed out? | Source: ShutterStock
Dear Ethan,
Why are guys so sensitive about stuff?! My boyfriend always jokes around with me about and I’m always a good sport about it… I know he’s just kidding. But if I make one little joke about his appearance, stuff we do in bed or his down there situation, he gets totally upset and miserable. Also, he lets me know when he thinks other girls are cute – but if I say a guy is cute or talk too much about my favorite male celebrity, he gets insulted. Why can guys dish it out but not take it?
While many of us guys can certainly afford to be more sensitive to the needs and emotions of the fairer sex, I think it’s safe to say that women are just as sensitive about physical shortcomings as we are. Sure, I hate the fact that my arms and pectoral muscles look like those of a six-year-old girl, but I know plenty of ladies who are just as self-conscious about their own bodies. Whether due to weight, height, or a squeaky laugh that sounds like a dolphin mating call, we all have insecurities. Guys and girls may have different ways of expressing such embarrassment, but no one is immune – so try to follow the Golden Rule and not poke fun at that which your boyfriend is touchiest about.
He can dish it out, but he can't take it. | Source: ShutterStock
Now, I’m not entirely sure what his “down there situation” is, but hopefully he’s not missing any pieces. Otherwise, I’ll assume you’re referring to his performance in the bedroom, which can certainly be a sore spot (no pun intended) for guys. Our goods “down there” are the source of our masculinity and virility, so a malfunction due to such factors as nerves or alcohol can be a huge blow to our egos – especially for younger men with less sexual experience and, therefore, less confidence. If your relationship is fairly new, you might want to avoid the sex jokes until your guy is comfortable enough to take them (or learns to grow a bigger penis).
Joke! (Wait a few months before using that one.)
However, I do agree with you that the double standard he’s set when it comes to talking about other girls is totally unfair. A guy who comments on other ladies needs to have enough confidence to stomach your assessments of other dudes. Point this hypocritical habit out to him, and let him know he can’t have it both ways. If he can’t handle the discussion or is unable to see the contradiction, then he’ll have to agree to a joint moratorium on pointing out other attractive people altogether. And if there’s simply no way to reason with him, you might need to find a more mature guy who’s capable of dishing it out and taking it – though you might have to crush a few souls to find him!
Good luck!
Ethan
Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Ethan, email him at askaguy@gurl.com!
Find out how to get out of the friend zone with a dude
The Morning After
New Quiz!
Ugh, I HATE it how guys are always talking about different girls and their appearances when around their girlfriend. It just makes me think “well if you like her so much, then go date HER.” I don’t think I ever talk about other guys while with my boyfriend, or even like any other guys than my boyfriend. If I have a celebrity crush or something, I save it until I’m with one of my girlfriends. Well I just recently got a new boyfriend, and I’m pretty sure he’s never had any interest in another girl while he was with me… And I hope he hasn’t at all anyway. But he has made a few jokes about me, but I’ve made a few about him too. And it’s all fun and games we don’t mean a thing. Actually before we started going out we were those two people who always made fun of each other, yet at the same time flirted. And then when someone told us to go out we said stuff like “ew” and “never”. So I understand how we’re still going to make a few jokes here and there
Ethan You Rock! Honestly, I L~<3~V~E How it's a guy telling the advice and not a girl…
I just do…. it's mostly girls who tell the advice.. b/c of course this is a gURL's website! So it's pretty cool to listen from a guy's perspective!
-TrendyNerdLuvMB Out! 8^D
1. He’s taking it seriously
2. He’s jealous
Sorry… but just have a calm conversation about it and you two can work things out and he can tell you. He just doesn’t get the fact that if he’s going to be sensitive about it, then he shouldn’t joke around… the telling you that a certain girl is cute is fine. But, honestly, I am VERY happy that he is like that because as much “annoying” or something it can probably be, it shows how much he loves you! <3
I hope this works! ByE~ByE! 8^)
-TrendyNerdLuvMB Out! 8^D
Wow… Coming from a guy…but thank for apauligising. If i would have known sooner about this misthoughts, i’ll have already have my stamps and envelope sent to that very company and there will be trouble. Anyway, it is true what you post. But i confess. I get quite sensitive rarely. But it is very psycholgical. We are humans. Andg as humans, we have feelings. We are the same species no matter the hysical or mental being.
We can restrain our feelings. You just need to practice! You can be a better and haier person in life if you understand your self and your ancesters. We are who we are because of genetics.
Heres a inside joke:
If we were in another dimension, that the opposite sex change sexs and have the possibility of reproduction… The Human raced would be by now extincted. Lol
Haha, golden.
Pingback: Sex On The Wire: Take Your Hookup To The Next Level
PLEASE DO NOT REFER TO WOMEN AS THE FAIRER SEX!!!!!!!
I APOLOGIZE AND RETRACT THE USE OF “FAIRER SEX”! BUT WHY ARE WE YELLING??
Haha golden,
I’ve know this guy for going on five years and he’s one of my closest guy friends. I had a crush on him back in the day but now I just don’t see the point in ruining our friendship for a six month fling, he’s always saying we should hang out more so the other day I asked him if he wanted to grab lunch sometime. just me and him something we’ve never done before, but we’re in college now so I didn’t think it’d be a big deal I’ve done it with my other guy friends but he just went back and forth until I told him flat out we’d just be hanging out just as friend and he said sure, in a few months. I don’t get it, the way he went back and forth reminded me how he won’t ask girls out and I got the idea he wanted me to ask him out but it was over text so I can’t be sure. any idea what’s going on in his head?
you have to ask him to his face cause you never really know what someone means when you can’t really see their face to ask him what he meant. It might be awkward but meet up alone with him again like where a lot of people are e.g. the mall or the park or something. After being with him for like half an hour ask him ‘what did you mean by you text and be honest cause honestly i wont mind’ but before you ask him, make sure things aren’t awkward and if he is really a true friend, he’ll be honest but if you really don’t want to be in a relationship you have to really think about it if you want to ask him because if hes honest and says he want a relationship it might make the friendship that you have now awkward. But it depends, not everyone is the same, CIAO:)xx
I agree with djswaggacitie — you should ask him out, straight up, face to face. Texting/facebooking/emailing are great for making plans once in an established relationship, but when it comes to getting a read on someone, they’re no good! Confront him in person and you’ll have yourself an answer.
Thanks for reading,
-Ethan