How To Tell Him “I’m A Virgin”

young teen couple in a parkYou’re dating so you’ve gotta let him know, right? Wrong. You are not obligated to disclose your V status to anyone. Even if you are about to be sexual or have intercourse for the first time it’s your decision to tell or not to tell.

That being said, the reasons some of us want to ring the bell and say, “hey dude, I’m a virgin” run the gamut. Maybe you’re scared and don’t want your partner to misinterpret your fear as you being disinterested. Another reason to speak up is that you are really feeling someone but you want to take things s-l-o-wwwww-ly. Others of us are waiting until after we’re married as a religious decision. Some want their partner to have a choice too. All great reasons.

2. Should I tell him just before we do it?

For most of our lives we’re told to be in the moment. However, if you want to disclose to a sexual partner that you’re a virgin, the moment to talk about it is before you hit the sheets. Why? Well we place such a premium on virginity that some guys flat out don’t want the perceived responsibility of being someone’s first. Others may feel special and still others may not care. You’ve made a choice of free will, give your partner the respect to do the same by having the convo in a neutral moment.

3. It’s too weird. Can I just text, email or voicemail?

Texting saves us all of the awkward moments and weird convos, right? Wrong. Those possibly uncomfortable moments are what bonds a couple together and creates healthy moments of intimacy. If you can’t get comfy speaking frankly with someone, should you really be having sex with them? Not to be judgey, but I’m gonna say no on this one.

4. What if I’m waiting for love or marriage?

If you want to wait until marriage to have sex, you should definitely let your BF know in the beginning stages of the relationship. If he runs, so what? Now you have room to find someone on the same path you are–and believe me, they’re out there!

The same goes if your policy is no sex without love. If you are choosing not to drop it like it’s hot to any casual date or no strings attached friend with benefits, good for you. Disclose early. If he’s not the one, cool. Find someone on the same relationship clock.

5. But . . . how do I say it?

Things in life are only as dramatic as we make them. Don’t make an appointment for “a talk.” When you’re alone just say something like, “Hey! I am really feeling you so I thought it was important to let you know that I haven’t had sex yet. I was pretty sure you wouldn’t freak out but I just thought you should know. How do you feel about that?”

Bottom line: It’s your body, your choice, and your experience. Take care of yourself and just make sure you feel comfortable every step of the way.

Have you ever told a guy you were a virgin? How did it go? Tell me everything in the comments!

You’ll Never Guess Who Else Is A Virgin!


Posted in: Discuss, Health, Sex & Relationships, Love&Sex, Relationships, Sex, Uncategorized, Virginity
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74 Comments

  1. avatarprudence says:

    when i told him i’m a virgin he couldn’t believe me.

  2. avatarAngel says:

    jst go straight to da point,let hm knw.

  3. avatarAngel says:

    u’ve to tell hm.

  4. avataremm says:

    I recently told a guy while we were making out that I wanted to wait until I was married to have sex, which I guess could be strange at 25. It was something I just blurted out because he was getting a little handsy! I ended the evening because I had classes in the AM. We were supposed to have a date over the weekend but he never called or texted ever again. His loss :-)

  5. avataremma dogherty says:

    when i told my boyfriend that i wasnt a virgin, he tried to play it off cool. but i could tell he was a little nervous, since he was a virgin. we first time we hooked up, i could tell that he was a virgin. it was really frustrating because he wasnt very good… but then we did it more, and it is fine now. in fact, we hook up all the time (:

  6. avatarTiffany says:

    I just recently told the guy I’m seeing that I’m a virgin. I just blurted it out when we were making out one night. I knew that he was thinking about us having sex, so I warned him that I’m a virgin and I want to wait until I’ in love to have sex. He seemed a little disappointed, but I know he respects my decision.

  7. avatarAshley says:

    You should just straight out tell him you’re a virgin. You shouldn’t be ashamed of being one. I talked to this guy for a long time and we ended up talking about it out of nowhere. I told him I was a virgin and he was alright about it. He wasn’t but he asked me what I think sex feels like and how I imagine my first time to be like. It was all good in the end, no awkwardness!

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