When it comes to romance bare-naked truth is rarely something we girls employ. Are you seriously going to tell a dude “Sorry can’t see you tonight, I have a giant zit on my chin.” Um no. And the pretty little lies we tell after a hook up are not so different…Here are a few things we’re thinking, but that you might not want to say after a hookup!
Immediately After…When It’s Good
She said: Do you wanna watch a movie or something?
She meant: Spoon me! Spoon me! Spoon me! Spoon me and never leave!
Immediately After…When It’s Bad
She said: Wow is it 10:15 already? I should really go to bed–I have a facial tomorrow at noon and I, uh, need a good night sleep…or something.
She meant: Get out of my house right now and never touch me with those hands or lips again. GROSS.
When You Went Farther than You Intended To
She said: OMG. I never do this, like seriously.
She meant: Except for that time last year in Panama City…and sleepaway camp…oh and after Winter Formal with John Pfeiffer. And last weekend.
If He Needs a Few Pointers
She said: So I’m, like, weird–I have this super specific way I like to be kissed. Let me show you…
She meant: Surprise! I actually don’t enjoy it when someone shoves their tongue in my mouth like they’re digging for gold. You know who else shares this same quirky preference? EVERY SINGLE GIRL ON EARTH.
Talking to the Parents
She said: Noise? Last night? Ohhhh we were watching Paranormal Activity 2 and I was totally freaking out. Griffin was too. A few times.
She meant: Note to self: make a loud, rumbly playlist to cover certain, ahem, noise.
Dealing with Protection
She said: Wait…what do you mean you don’t have a condom?
She meant: Oh I have them alright, but I’m going to make you sweat this one out for a few minutes. Do I expect you to carry around tampons? No! So don’t automatically assume I’m stuffed to the gills with Trojans!
What’s the funniest thing you’ve ever heard after a hookup? What do you think you should say after a hookup? Tell me everything in the comments!