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When it comes to romance bare-naked truth is rarely something we girls employ. Are you seriously going to tell a dude “Sorry can’t see you tonight, I have a giant zit on my chin.” Um no. And the pretty little lies we tell after a hook up are not so different…Here are a few things we’re thinking, but that you might not want to say after a hookup!
Immediately After…When It’s Good
She said: Do you wanna watch a movie or something?
She meant: Spoon me! Spoon me! Spoon me! Spoon me and never leave!
Immediately After…When It’s Bad
She said: Wow is it 10:15 already? I should really go to bed–I have a facial tomorrow at noon and I, uh, need a good night sleep…or something.
She meant: Get out of my house right now and never touch me with those hands or lips again. GROSS.
When You Went Farther than You Intended To
She said: OMG. I never do this, like seriously.
She meant: Except for that time last year in Panama City…and sleepaway camp…oh and after Winter Formal with John Pfeiffer. And last weekend.
If He Needs a Few Pointers
She said: So I’m, like, weird–I have this super specific way I like to be kissed. Let me show you…
She meant: Surprise! I actually don’t enjoy it when someone shoves their tongue in my mouth like they’re digging for gold. You know who else shares this same quirky preference? EVERY SINGLE GIRL ON EARTH.
Talking to the Parents
She said: Noise? Last night? Ohhhh we were watching Paranormal Activity 2 and I was totally freaking out. Griffin was too. A few times.
She meant: Note to self: make a loud, rumbly playlist to cover certain, ahem, noise.
Dealing with Protection
She said: Wait…what do you mean you don’t have a condom?
She meant: Oh I have them alright, but I’m going to make you sweat this one out for a few minutes. Do I expect you to carry around tampons? No! So don’t automatically assume I’m stuffed to the gills with Trojans!
What’s the funniest thing you’ve ever heard after a hookup? What do you think you should say after a hookup? Tell me everything in the comments!
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LOL u need to calm down. Weed isn’t only good for you…smoking anything at all isn’t good. And now ur ranting on a random article about it, that was meant for kicks, not to be taken ultra seriously
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Let me tell you something about this site that pisses me off. I recently read and commented your horrifically biased article about marijuana. You spouted myth and propaganda as truth and made something that is only good for you into something that should be viewed as bad or risky, which it isn’t.
But you know what is risky, SEX! Now, I’m not one of those people that think that everyone should be abstinent til marriage. At all. The concept of committing your entire life to someone before you’ll be with them sexually is actually ridiculous to me. However, sleeping around can be dangerous and can be emotionally scarring and obviously can make your life quickly into something you thought it wouldn’t be. Also, this site definitely makes it out that all teenage girls are having sex, which they aren’t.
Sigh…you guys are ridiculous.
its just a funny article, and in no way does in imply that allll girls are sleeping around. for all you know they people that were dealing with in this article are happily married! (yes, i know it says hookup, but that doesnt necesarily mean one night stand) just enjoy the article, do whats right for you, and dont worry about other people(:
Wow… first of all, smoking anything is bad for your health and it’s been recently proven that the THC (or the main chemical that makes your high stronger) can cause lung cancer. The drug is not only ILLEGAL, but dangerous it you’re an idiot and try driving or doing anything that’s safest to do when you’re sober. Medicinal marijuana, however, is different from the weed you’re talking about. I support it’s use as a symptom reliever and not for pleasure. Also, this site does talk about sex. And often, but they always worn you to use protection and to respect your body above all else. Safe sex isn’t any more dangerous than weed if you’re going to be a hypocrite.