I’ve been going out with this guy for almost four months, and we fight almost all the time. Its been off-and-on , and every time he breaks up with me , I’m constantly crying and feeling really depressed. Then about four days later, he apologizes and says stuff like how he was stupid for leaving me and he regretted it, then after we make up , everything is perfect. I think I’m in love. But I can’t stop wondering , am I doing the right thing by taking him back? Or am I just hurting myself? Please help!
Here’s the hard truth: it doesn’t sound like this dude and you are right for each other right now. Constant fighting, crying and breaking-up is never a good sign in any kind of relationship, and before you take this any further, you need to cut your losses and move on.
No one can say that relationships are easy – they require lots of compromise, even when two people love each other very much. But no relationship should involve nonstop arguing. I know you really like this guy, and I know how hard breakups can be. But you’re right: by staying with him and taking him back after every blowout, you are only hurting yourself.
This guy is not treating you the way you deserve to be treated. I don’t know why you guys are fighting all the time, or why he keeps breaking up with you. But no matter what the reason is, you deserve someone who isn’t going to always make you cry, only to reappear a few days later with apologies that are probably false. By letting this guy treat you this way and then taking him back, you’re enabling his bad behavior. It’s not your fault – it’s a situation that girls and guys get themselves into all the time.
Right now, he thinks he can treat you however he wants, and as long as he comes crawling back with some sweet words, everything will be fine. You need to show him that that’s not how things work. If you’re still with him right now, tell him you need to take a break. Explain that what’s going on between you two isn’t working for you anymore. Don’t let him talk you out of it! This is for your own good, girl.
If you two are really meant to be together, you’ll find your way back to each other. Maybe freezing him out will make him realize what a great girl you are and how much he needs to get his act together. Even if you don’t get back together, I promise you will ultimately feel so much happier when you’re not stressing over him all the time. Not only that, but you’ll also feel so strong and proud of yourself for ending things. Trust me: it’s better to be single and happy than in a relationship and miserable.
What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at firstname.lastname@example.org