From The Message Boards: Would You Be Okay With Only Having One Sexual Partner Ever?

boy and girl kissing springtime

Jbabiie03 said:
Personally, I don’t think you are “missing out” if you only have one sexual partner. I think that if you only have one sexual partner and you marry him/her, somewhere in the future one will wonder what it would have been like with someone else. I don’t think this applies to everyone but I do think most people will have these thoughts of what it would be like with someone else.

iamsodrunk said:
From my perspective, it’s hard for me to understand how somebody can be happy doing what I see as limiting their experiences. I love experiencing life as much as possible, especially when it comes to personal relationship, and I feel that sexual relationships are a big part of that. I can be really impulsive about sex because in the end, if I DON’T do it then I will always regret not having that experience.

All three girls make great points, and when it comes down to it, we’re going to have to say what they all pretty much ended up saying (check out their full responses here): it really depends on what you want and how you feel.

If you only have sex with one person, and you want to be with them forever, there’s nothing wrong with that! Not everyone needs tons of sexual experiences in life to be happy. But if you want to experience sex with a lot of people, that’s fine too. It’s really about what makes you happy – don’t let society tell you what’s wrong and right.

 

Who do you agree with? Would you be okay with having one sexual partner? Tell us in the comments!

 

And also join this convo: would you date a cheater?


Posted in: Boards, Discuss, Health, Sex & Relationships, Hooking Up, Love&Sex, Relationships, Sex, Virginity
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  • Frederick

    My girlfriend and I started dating when we were 16 and we were each other’s first – it was wonderful and something so special that we shared. We went to separate colleges and said it was OK to date others so long as it did not get too serious. I could not bring myself to date other women as I was too crazy about her. She did and it was not too bad until she got really serious and slept with another guy. It totally devastated me but we moved past it and now many years of marriage later things are pretty good. The only issue is that this has continued to bother me for over 25 years now and I find I am wishing I had taken the opportunity to have other experiences. I won’t because I will always honor my vows but I think if I had other partners and experimented back before we were married it would have made it easier for me to put this behind me.

  • 13mwll0

    I would def. be ok with having only one sexual partner … I think that in the long run it will work out better you and this other person will have all the time in the world to fully understand what each other like I think having only one partner will leave you a more sexually satisfied person because you will be better understood by this one partner rather than continually searching for the one and never finding them.

  • Vanessa

    Actually I think having too many sexual partners is detrimental to any future relationship. I met a guy who wanted a relationship but couldn’t because he had too many women to compare me to. Also, he was incapable of being intimate even when he was ready. I say keep your lifetime number low (I won’t out a number but should be below ten). There’s nothing wrong with having one partner or just a few. It’s better in the long run trust me.

  • Paige

    I have always wanted to have sex with only one person, and marry someone who has only had sex with me. When I got with my current boyfriend, i knew that he wasn’t a virgin, but i didn’t think it would be a big deal. It was so wrong. It was a big deal. When i decided to have sex with him, it was so hard for me to not compare myself to his exes, and i was nervous that I wouldn’t compare and couldn’t compare to the others. Even though I knew it was stupid, i still felt that way, and sometimes still do. Although we got through it, It would’ve been so much easier if we were both virgins. I honestly believe that only having one partner can make your romantic life so much easier.

  • Bill

    Ok my situation is a bit diff and roles are reversed a bit…wife had a handful before me and i only had one…we met when i was 21 she was 20 and we have been together ever since….we have awesome marriage and her past doesn’t bother me in the least…i am glad she lived a little and had some fun in college. Me on the other hand is now wishing i had a few more, really just for the experience and curioustity of it….my wife is attractive and we have great sex but someone different and new is still quite tempting….

  • cynthia

    I’ve been married for 5 years and my husband is the only guy I’ve ever been with. I do wonder what it will be having sex with other guys but then again i wonder why will u go and do that, is it because ure not getting satisfied enough because as they say” its not the size of thr boat but the way he drives it” honestly ive been very happy with my husband not only has he made 3 beautiful children but he gives me multiple orgasm. So i ask myself what makes me wonder if im fully satisfied,i wouldnt want to ruin our marriage over getting pleasured by a stranger

  • Faith

    It still gives me goosebumps when I think of me & my husband & how far weve come, def too young but no regrets at all, he was 16 & i was 17 didnt give in till almost a yr later, it’s been 14 years, both grew up in this civilised country far from where our parents and their strict traditions came from, in high school years so many of my GF’s were already having sex, oral sex was the norm. I had bf’s & not once oral sex with any1. My husband was my first for all, 14 yrs, 10 yrs married recently renewed vows with family & our 6 kids :). Sex is far from boring, but it’s not all about sex!! There’s more important factors then sex I would honestly put sex at number 5 out of 10. There’s still a lot more to learn together but for now we still the same lovers 14 yrs ago, I’m not missing out on anything & I’m not bragging, life isn’t perfect but we’re definitely perfect for eachother 🙂

  • Lena

    I think that if you truly love someone and are meant to be together then you wouldn’t be thinking about having sex with anyone else and if you do think about it then you are not being true to yourself or your partner. Love is to be shared with the person you are dating at the time and who you are meant for and if you are feeling that it would be nice to sleep with someone else then you aren’t loyal and truly in love and shouldn’t necessarily be together. If you ask me you wont feel like you are missing out if you truly love someone.

  • Precious

    I don’t think there is anything wrong with having sex with only one person. In my country it is kind of taboo for a girl too have multiple sex partners who she did not have a serious relationship with. It is one sided but more and more it is becoming somewhat accepted. But personally I only want to have sex with one person. I am a virgin and I would like to honour my religious practices by staying until marriage

  • Anna

    My boyfriend is the only guy I’ve ever slept with and I hope it stays that way.

    We’ve been together for 2 years, (he’s been with another girl before me), and we really love each other so much that we just want to be together. I don’t think it’s limiting my experiences. I mean, what are you going to think about during your last days? How you got to sleep with a bunch of people, a lot of them being virtual strangers to you, or how you got to share a special connection and love with a better half?

    Mayeb from time to time, I will wonder what it would have been like if I were to sleep with other people, but honestly, when I try imagining myself being intimate with someone other than my boyfriend, it freaking terrifies me to the point I can’t stand imagining it.

  • High school sweetheart

    I recently moved in with my high school sweetheart while were in college together. Weve been a couple since we were 16, and he was my first. Im came to this board looking for opinions on only having one sexual partner, because being in college, i have no been wondering if the grass is truly greener on the other side (for the first time). It can be hard because i love my boyfriend and when i picture my future, i see him in it. But there are times i wondee about what a meaningless hookup would be like…as terrible as it sounds. One things for sure…the thought of loosing my beloved boyfriend is MUCH worse than the thought of not experiencing another person. I just feel guilty though when the thought even crosses my mind, becauee i love him so much and could never actually be without him.

  • Courtney

    I’ve only been with one guy. And he’s been with me and a previous girlfriend, so I just think I have an interesting perspective to contribute.. (Btw, we’ve been together for two years now)

    I’m totally happy having only been with him. I hope that he is the only sexual partner I have for the rest of my life. It’s not like I haven’t been curious about other men, but if I actually try to fantasize about other men, I kinda gross myself out. I guess the love aspect is just way more important for me.

    Then he’s had sex before I came along, and it kinda bothers me. I can’t help but feel a little jealous that I was not his first, like he was mine. I think about how important it was for me emotionally, and can’t help but think that he has those connections to another woman. Granted, he’s told me that if he could go back in time, he wouldn’t have slept with her. This helps a bit, but the fact is, he can’t.

    Sleeping with multiple partners is totally fine as long as everyone involved is fully aware and no one’s feeling’s get hurt (and no one spreads STIs). Personally though, I’m very proud of the fact that I’ve only been with one guy. Can’t tell you why, but it is how I feel.

  • Deb

    I just happened to hit this discussion searching for something else. But, as a 32-year-old, I would have to say that I would give anything to have met and had my only sexual experience as well as his only sexual experience with the right guy. I think that would create a much stronger bond in a relationship and especially in a marriage. Multiple partners is overrated. All it really does is cause stress and heartache, not only at the time, but in your future marriage as well.

  • Abbey

    I come from a very strict Christian family, and so sex is kinda out of my reach. I can’t imagine my parents’ reaction to me having sex, but quite honestly, I’d think more about being a virgin ’til I get married. Then I’d probably think about what It’d be like with someone else. Even though one of the ten commandments is to be loyal to your spouse… I honestly don’t know. Sex is too complicated.

    • girrla

      In the bible it says that god wanted sex to be the ultimate way for married couples to show their deep love for one another it is supposed to be sacred and pure but its been kind of corrupted since then by pornographic material making it un sacred and impure as it was meant to be honestly in just a young teen that want the best for everyone so i hope!!!! U wait because i am

  • omgdiva99

    I agree with Jbabiie03, once you find that person who romantically and sexually pleases you why want any one else. But depending on the person you will have your times were you just wonder what it would be like having sex with someone else, especially if its becoming the “same old” and you want to experience something new. But if you do feel this way there is always new things you can try to spice up your sex-life with your partner.

  • Sydney

    Coming from a Christian perspective, I am perfectly fine with not having sex until marriage and having my husband be my only sexual partner.

  • Estee

    I’ve only ever had one boyfriend and he was my first everything. Sometimes I feel like I missed out because he’s had other girlfriends and different kisses whereas he was my first. But I’m happy that we were both virgins when we got together because it made that experience much more special. 🙂

  • Suzy

    One boyfriend-now-husband.
    One sexual partner only, ever.
    Zero — count them — ZERO regrets.

    • people_r_nomads

      I really like the way you said it.
      I’m a guy who had a near miss(encounter) with a female colleague today. As I got outta this women’s apartment, my wife called. Had I been doing it, my phone would’ve rang “during the act”.
      I’m laying on my bed now thinking how much I would’ve regretted it now had I done it.
      Although the thought was tempting, I love my wife too much to actually do it.

  • Sammie

    I am in an 8 month relationship and were eachothers first times doing anything besides making out. weve reached the point where we have had sex a handfull of times and we do want to be together for the rest of our lives, yes i know its teenage love because we are only 15/16. but if that actually does happen to where we are together for years throughout the stages of growing up and miss out on other experiences I wonder if that would be bad or good for our relationship. I would love to be with him and have a family together and everything but missing out on one of the most personal apects of life makes stuff get more serious

  • Alyce

    First of, I’m not a person looking for sex, I’m looking for a committed relationship, so that’s a big factor in it; I’m looking to spend my life with someone, so I believe it is possible to develop in experience with one person. Someone who have sex with one hundred people one hundred times is just as experienced as someone who had sex with one person, one hundred times. Sure, meeting a new person can bring in new things, but guess what else can; imagination, the internet, and a partner who is willing to explore and develop along side you.

    I feel it’s wrong to think that with more people comes more experience, it’s more like with more people comes more chance to sleep with all the hotties (and there is nothing wrong with that), but I believe that who ever wants to expand partners for knowledge should just sit tight with their lover, and go pick up a Kerma Sutra book. I’m a firm believer in that sex, no matter how inexperience the person is, is better when in love, because think about it, when you’re in love, a lot of dumb things your partner does doesn’t matter anymore.