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Would you rather have a lot of partners? | Source: ShutterStock
Okay, so we’ve already asked you girls if your number of sexual partners is a big deal to you – but now we want to know something a little bit different: would you be okay with only having one sexual partner? As in, only sleeping with one person… ever?
Although that used to be the norm way back when (kind of), nowadays there’s no shame in having more than a couple of sexual partners. But just like there are plenty of people who enjoy sleeping around (nothing wrong with it as long as you’re safe!), there are also plenty of people who stay with their first forever. And there’s nothing wrong with that either! We saw this discussed in the boards, and we want to know: would you be cool with only having sex with one person? Or do you think a girl should experience things? Read what these girls said and then let us know what you think:
Yakubutsu asked:
I’m just wondering…why do lots of people state that they would’ve hated it if they married the only person they slept with, or that it’s better to sleep around before you get married? I know lots of people will just be like “OMFG, I could NEVER marry the ONLY person I’ve had sex with!?” or say it”s “better” to have multiple partners before you do get married, but surely if you’ve found what you’re looking for in all aspects, then that’s worth more than sleeping around? I would love to hear people’s opinions on this. I’ve heard so many people say that you’d be “missing out” if you don’t have more that one partner and so many other people, a massive range of ages, say that it doesn’t really matter at the end of the day if you’ve found what you want.
Is he your one and only? | Source
Jbabiie03 said:
Personally, I don’t think you are “missing out” if you only have one sexual partner. I think that if you only have one sexual partner and you marry him/her, somewhere in the future one will wonder what it would have been like with someone else. I don’t think this applies to everyone but I do think most people will have these thoughts of what it would be like with someone else.
iamsodrunk said:
From my perspective, it’s hard for me to understand how somebody can be happy doing what I see as limiting their experiences. I love experiencing life as much as possible, especially when it comes to personal relationship, and I feel that sexual relationships are a big part of that. I can be really impulsive about sex because in the end, if I DON’T do it then I will always regret not having that experience.
All three girls make great points, and when it comes down to it, we’re going to have to say what they all pretty much ended up saying (check out their full responses here): it really depends on what you want and how you feel.
If you only have sex with one person, and you want to be with them forever, there’s nothing wrong with that! Not everyone needs tons of sexual experiences in life to be happy. But if you want to experience sex with a lot of people, that’s fine too. It’s really about what makes you happy – don’t let society tell you what’s wrong and right.
Who do you agree with? Would you be okay with having one sexual partner? Tell us in the comments!
And also join this convo: would you date a cheater?
The Morning After
New Quiz!
I have been wiith my boyfriend for 2 and a half years, we both lost our virginity to eachother and we have even discussed and thought about marriage. I love him with all my heart, but I have the thought in the back of my mind about getting experience from someone else i know. This person and I share a flirtatious history and we both know it would be a once off, no attachment.
Is it wrong for me to think about this?
[Im a guy, 22, and here's my story] You know, this issue is really disconcerting because my ex and I broke up a over a year ago for this very reason. We dated for four years and were head over heals in love. Of course, the “infatuation” we shared dwindled, but we still loved each other through and through.
After 1 year we were doing better than ever. At the 2 year mark I think we could have been only then defined as a “real” couple with our ups and downs because we’d always be getting into the most ridiculous and unnecessary fights. This 2nd year was still punctuated by a childlike and passionate love. Our 3rd year was a true testament of will and love because keeping the passion and love without infatuation is hard. Simply, its easy to be excited about a relationship in the beginning because its new, and holding one together long-term is the real challenge.
The years are going to fly by regardless, you might as well enjoy them to the utmost with one individual; learn them, love them, live with and for them, and you wont be displeased (so long as you find the right person). People say that they couldn’t be with only one person, but they’re wrong; they can do it, and only believe otherwise because the normal trend in today’s media epitomizes and extolls the licentious life.
I know this is long a round-about background, but it’s such an important issue for me, and to finally make things short and sweet, here’s why:
My one true love and I broke up just before our 4th year anniversary because we both thought we needed to see other people and you know the notion, “experience life”. I believed this even more than she did, and for that reason, I’m suffering with these terrible consequences. Even though we both agreed, I know that if I never wanted to go through with the break-up, we would still be together today. I’d give up so much so have her in my arms again.
Again, sorry for all the embellishments and personal huff, but it really hits me deeply; moving on…
Neither of us had sex with anyone else before or during our relationship, so we were each others’ firsts. At first I was numb to the pain and went out right away to enjoy myself. I hit all the local college bars, went to nyc all the time, etc., and she likewise wasted no time whatsoever in acquiring a boyfriend. In fact, to this day, she’s had 3. The first one was obviously a rebound, but i think it’s quite possible they all are rebounds because she’s hurt and I know it and I can’t do anything about it. I think she’s with them to avoid the pain of losing ‘us’.
You’re probably thinking, ‘wtf’ and ‘omg’, move on loser because writing this blog is clearly evidence that I haven’t. The truth is, I can’t.
Im a Christian, but I’m not all that religious; the Bible talks about having sex with only one person for the rest of your life because it will cause serious problems for you (emotionally) if you do otherwise. Humans love being connected with each other in every way possible, and the one sacred connection–sex–is a magic glue combining two souls in unity.
I feel like I’m still attached to her. It sucks. I know for sure she’s had sex with others, but I can’t do it. She’s the only one I’ve had sex with. I’ve had plenty of opportunities, but I always choke. I can’t. I love her too much. I’m obviously not getting back with her but I can’t have sex with anyone else until i get over her. I want to, so bad. I’m a guy so my desire for sex is ridiculous, but my love for my ex unquestionably thwarts my abilities to perform.
I wouldn’t mind. My family isn’t all that conservative, although we’re not exactly far-out liberal either, so I don’t suppose my upbringing has made that great of an impact on my stance regarding this. Perhaps my belief in sexual fidelity is influenced by practical reasons: Promiscuity is often linked to the spread of STDs and unwanted pregnancies, after all, and I don’t think I’m willing to risk all that for the sake of ‘experience’. Also, I’ve always believed in the idea of saving myself for my future husband – even then, I wouldn’t engage in sexual activities with him before we are officially married – and I hope that he will be my first and only one. I strongly believe that a significant part that makes up the sanctity of marriage is owed to the sexual purity of both husband and wife, or at least either one of them.
P.S. Regarding promiscuity and its consequences: The risk is still there even if one practises safe sex.
Personally I don’t believe in waiting untill marriage, before you have your first time sex, but if you believe in this, then it’s your choice that everyone has to respect. The boy who puts a girl under pressure, just to have sex with her, is a pimp not worth her love!
OK, now please think again: not having sex untill marriage often means not thinking or talking about the whole subject at all. If you’re from a religious family where sex is never dicussed, I think you are in big danger of having an unhappy marriage!
Surveys have shown that porn movies are actually sold more in the Bible Belt than in bigger cities. My advice would be to have some experience with sex before marriage, so you can recognise a lousy lover before you’re stuck with him or her for a lifetime.
I liberated myself from a very prude mother, went to live on my own and read lots of magazines and books on sex, before I had my first time. Please don’t underestimate how sex influences your emotions. A first time should be worth remembering!
If you want to wait untill marriage, be sure you have prepared both yourself and your partner for your first time. Communication and knowledge are a key to satisfactionary sex, so not being prepared can really kill your pleasure and damage your marriage.
I don’t think just one guy will do it for me O_o I dunno. Yeah, no, probably not.
I think I would sleep with someone I was completely attracted to, even if I didn’t know them well or even if I wasn’t in love with them. I’ve noticed that I do tend to separate the physical and emotional.
i’m waiting until i get married to have sex, so i will only have one sexual partner. i don’t see it as limiting myself. when i hear about or talk to my friends who get screwed over by this guy or that (no pun intended) i don’t really feel that i’m missing out. i don’t have to worry about feeling emotionally vulnerable or at risk of STIs/STDs and the off-chance that i have un-protected sex and get pregnant. plus. . .theres always masturbation, and i hear from quite sexually active girls that sometimes,all you need is your hand.
u will do sex with me
I would want to have more than 1 sex partner because I would always wonder how it will with more than 1 person!!!* Of course I’ll have the sex before I get married!*
k gud u wil marri me
I’m 19. I met my current boyfriend when I was 14. I lost my virginity to him although he had been with several other g. We have now been together for 5 years; we are starting to think about marriage and buying a home being as though we have a child by one another. I just don’t know if I’m ready to marry him because now I am a little curious as to how sex would be with someone else. The someone else is my ex who I still have feelings for. I don’t want to start a triangle but…I am extremely tempted. Idk if I’m just getting cold feet, jealous of the fact that he had other experiences and I didn’t, or why I feel this way but it hasn’t changed and I don’t want to go into a marriage with this feeling, so…
Im 19 now and my bf is 21. to be honest ive had plenty of bfs in grade school and high school and almost lost my virginity to one of them but i got scared. i dont believe there is anything wrong with have sex with someone that youre not going to be with your whole life but my senior year of high school i started dating my bf. weve been friends for a couple years before we started dating (took him forever!) lol but i realised that the way both our families raised us it was to wait til marriage. My sister didnt wait and shes only a year and a half older than me, i wasnt sure if i wanted to follow her foot steps. i decided to wait(: honestly of course the temptation is there but it takes an even stronger person to resist. i love him sooooo much and i know that on that day after were married it will be great because were both going to experience eachother like no one else ever will<3
I will be marrying the only man I will have sex with ever on Saturday. We have waited until marriage, struggled through 8 years of courtship (5 of those 8 being engaged) and remained virgins until our wedding night. I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. All of the sexual experiences in the world couldn’t make up for the happiness in knowing you are going to be someone’s first and last.
If you were generally in True Love, would you really give that away for a few hook-ups? Yeah, it’s awesome to get some experience in there, but at the end of the day … If you’re in love with someone, you can do ALL the things you would do in other hook-ups, with the one person you REALLY love and care for. This adds to the emotional side LOADS. I personally feel this is a big WIN WIN.
I made “a golden promise” when I was 15. I stuck to it until my wedding night. After that night I made another promise to myself and God. It was to ALWAYS be faithful to my husband. Quite frankly I could not be happier. I also think that we people with only one partner have experienced anything else, so there is nothing to miss.
I actually intend to wait until my wedding night also, and for me this also includes not doing things like oral, fingering/handjobs, or mutual masturbation. A lot of people will probably think this is crazy, but I just don’t feel comfortable doing things any other way. I am what could be considered conservative and religious, but that had little to do with my choice. Even my parents never put any pressure on me to wait. It is my decision and I stand by it. After marriage, however, there is very little that I wouldn’t be willing to try, but I wouldn’t bring another person into the bedroom (or wherever else my husband and I might be having sex). My only worry is that my choice seems to absolutely terrify guys.
change enhances pleasure. each female/male is different in body,shape, behavior, action. the view of sex must be changed.everyone has a right to get pleasure infinity times
The wife and I have been married for just over a month now, but we’ve been together for about 10 years. For both of us, we are both our first, and to this date, have been in a monogamous relationship. We are both really happy.. so hats off to that. Has she missed out on being promiscuous? Yes she has, but we are both happy with the outcome…
I plan to only plan to have one partner. I am pledging to save it until my wedding night…it is more special that way. I think it would be more of an accomplishment than something you should be ashamed of. It takes willpower and self-respect to save yourself. Even if your future life partner has not saved himself, he will feel more special than he already does if he truly KNOWS he is your first time. Any gURL who is able to wait…CONGRATULATIONS!!! Also, you are not alone.
My boyfriend and I actually had this discussion, and when I asked him what his thoughts were on being with only one person throughout his life, he said, “I’d be really happy and proud of myself that I chose the right person at first.” I never thought of it that way, but I grew to believe this – it’s not like sex with one person means same sexual experience all the time, anyway
I think only having sex with one person is normal. I’ve only been with one guy and i’m still with him. It’s been 10 months and so far I don’t regret it. Though if you do have sex with more then one person thats okay too. Sometimes things don’t work out but you move on. So I think either one is perfectly normal.
You can share lots of different sexual experiences with that one person.
i agree experience makes perfection
If the sex is good, why would you need another partner. I don’t mind having sex only with my boyfriend ever… I’d love it… And I’m sure he would too