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His GF could be watching... | Source: ShutterStock
Obviously, a dude with a girlfriend is off-limits to other girls. But just because you can’t hook up with him, does that mean you can’t enjoy a little flirt sesh with him? Flirting with a guy with a girlfriend might seem like harmless fun to some girls, but to others, it might be totally inappropriate.
We’re sure that most of you have (maybe unintentionally) flirted with a dude who’s already taken. Is it no big deal, or is it totally crossing the line? The editors of Gurl all feel differently about this, and we want to know what you think. Read what we have to say, and then let us know: is it okay to flirt with a guy who has a girlfriend… or is flirting cheating?
Ew dude! You're already taken! | Source: ShutterStock
Melanie Says: No Way Because Of Karma
Flirting with someone who is obviously attached is just not cool. It’s disrespectful to that person’s relationship, puts them in an awkward position (of not wanting to be a jerk to you, but also not wanting to screw up things with their girlfriend or boyfriend), and makes you look a bit desperate (I mean, can’t you find your own cuddle buddy?!). I know girls who do this all the time, and they wonder why people get annoyed at them. I think the answer is pretty obvious!
Ugh... we can only imagine the drama | Source: ShutterStock
Emerald Says: No Way Because Of Drama
Flirting is a dangerous game, my friend. You may think it’s just between you and another person but everyone can see it (and if you’re flirting with a guy who is in a relationship in private then you are crossing treacherous waters). The formula is simple, you bat your eyelashes and brush the arm of a dude with a GF, his GF’s BFF sees, she sends a text “OMG You wouldn’t believe what so-and-so just did!” Then all of a sudden your Facebook wall is flooded with a bunch of cuss words and judgments about something you thought was innocent. Avoid the dramz, flirt responsibly.
This is crossing the line | Source: ShutterStock
Jessica Says: It’s Usually Not A Big Deal
I don’t think innocent flirting is that serious, no matter if the dude is married or what. I mean, let’s face it, we all flirt! I’ll admit to flirting with guys who are in relationships, but it’s never been over-the-top or anything touchy-feely. However, I wouldn’t do it if I knew it was making my own boyfriend super uncomfortable, and I would never do it to my friends’ boyfriends. There’s definitely a fine line, and while I usually don’t think it’s serious, I’ll definitely admit that sometimes it’s wrong.
Who cares? | Source: ShutterStock
Julie Says: Go For It
Flirting is just that: flirting. A coy smile or a funny e-mail or even a little shoulder squeeze doesn’t make anyone a cheater. Being a cheater makes you a cheater. So, I feel totally fine being a little flirty with a guy in a relationship…just like I’d be totally fine with my guy flirting with someone. Relationships are about trust, not about avoiding eye contact with anyone who could possibly wink at you. I say flirt away. As long as your intentions are fine and you’re just having fun, it’s really no big deal.
Who do you agree with? Do you flirt with people who are in relationships? Tell us in the comments.
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flirting is harmless. i mean we all flirt with guys that are single or taken, its not gonna lead anywhere serious! flirt away and just have fun, thats what life is all about.. having fun and actually living your life. if you think its wrong to flirt with a guy who has a gf then dont do it.. but if you think its harmless then go right ahead! its your own choice, you shouldn’t think of what others think. just ask yourself.. “is flirting with a guy that has a gf bad?” if your gut say no, then that means no. if it says yes then thats a yes… just trust YOUR OWN instincts and have fun in life
I hate it when other girls flirt with my boyfriend. Part of the problem for me, though, is that he’s friends with girls he used to hook up with. And they’re the ones flirting with him. He doesn’t reciprocate, but he definitely doesn’t stop them, even though he knows it bothers me. He downplays it, says it’s harmless and that I shouldn’t care. I know he would never cheat on me, but I still feel like they’re being disrespectful and rude, and he should make it clear that it’s inappropriate. It bothers me a lot that he doesn’t do anything to stop it. It feels like they’re slapping me in the face right in front of him and he’s telling me that I should just shrug it off.
If I was single, I wouldn’t flirt with another girl’s boyfriend simply because I don’t want to disrespect someone else, stranger or not. It might be harmless to you, but you might be causing harm to someone else’s relationship. Why put that karma on yourself?
Meh, I don’t really see an issue with it. If I know he has a girlfriend I definitely lay off a lot though, but if he starts flirting with me, I flirt back. Simple as that. But I still try not to cross what I see as boundaries. Which is another issue, people have waaayyy too many opinions on what boundaries you can and cannot cross.. :/
Flirting isn’t a very big deal as long as you keep an eye on the certain boundries that go in between being cute and fun to being inappropriate. I guess it also matters to put your self in the situation of “how would the girlfriend feel about this?” if she believes it’s harmless to joke around and be cute then go for it, but if you aren’t sure about the person and decided to stay on the safe side; that’s good too. Just make sure you know the boundries and take into mind how your flirting can effect the key people around you (a.k.a the boy, his girlfriend, even your self) if it’s all looking okay then have a little fun!
I TOTALLY agree w/ Jessica and Julie 2!!!!
I dont think so cause flirting can lead to you liking him or him liking you. nothing good comes to a person who does wrong to others! yes, karma is a bi.tch!!!
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It all depends on your definition of flirting. I am a very innocent flirt, but I do it with everyone, it’s just a part of my personality. I’m in a relationship at the moment, and still flirt with a few cute boys and my guy friends. I only feel it’s uncomfortable if the topic of sex is brought up or something else I know that I clearly shouldn’t be discussing with them. I wouldn’t do it in front of my boyfriend, but he knows that I do it, and is ok with it, because he realizes that he is the most important boy in my life.
Well…For all girls We alll know how hard it is not to flirt with someone…Even if he is tooken, especailly if we really like him. Its also hard to see some of your closest friends wtih boyfriends and them all happy and you sitting there all alone, being single! My flirt mode turns on even when i dont want it to! When even I’m around my crush or any other guy that is cute-in my opinion-bamm I’m flirting all the way! Sometimes there is no way to get out of not flirting with a guy single or not! (:
Personally i never thought very subtle flirting was too much of a problem, i mkean, if you guys are good friends it just makes life more fun right? WRONG. I am now in a relationship and realise that when people flirt with my bf and vie versa it causes all kinds of drama and hurt. I have realised now how it is uneccassairy and after being on the other side of the situation in the past, i would now never want to cause those actions or emotions between someone else.
I think its inappropriate! A couple of guys at my school who both had girlfriends and i had a boyfriend started flirting with me and it made me really uncomfortable! It was just like dude you have a girlfriend! It just made everything awkward!
Flirting with a guy who is dating someone else is perfectly fine as long as the girl he is dating is not one of your friends because then once your friend finds out she will not want to talk to you ever again or it will be awkard so i think it is ok to flirt. It is also healthy for your realtionship as it can test how much you trust each other
In most cases, it’s circumstantial, depending on the relationship and the person who is doing the flirting and the actual flirting. Is it just a wink and a smile, or did you grab his butt? IMO, if it’s something you don’t want to get caught doing, then don’t do it.
No, what if you were the girlfriend? you wouldnt be thinking its no big deal
I totally agree with this ^
Exactly! I hate it when girls flirt with my boyfriend of 2 years… He’s obviously not available, and if a girl wants to be friends with my boyfriend flirting is NOT the way to do that! I hate girls who flirt, they always start trouble for their own sick pleasure.
I agree with Jessica. Sometimes it’s okay, sometimes it’s not.
I understand what you mean. I do it for fun all the time but I feel bad about it setemimos after itBut when I flirt w other guys other than my bf their usually my really close guy friends and they know i have a bf thats just the way i am playful and flirty but I dont touch other guys just my bf