By the time we had a conversation about me being sexually active it was too late; I was a pregnant teen wanting an abortion and only told my mom because I had to.
If you’re even just thinking about being sexually active you should definitely have a conversation with your mom, dad, or parental equivalent about birth control. Just because our parents might feel uncomfortable talking about sex doesn’t mean that we have to. Here’s one area where we can lead the way.
Why it’s a good idea to talk.
Getting on birth control can mean many different things, but if you want to be on the pill it’s best to have a convo with Mom or Dad instead of getting a prescription through sneakier means. This talk can be the bridge to a healthier relationship with your parents. Plus, there’s also the issue of cost. You don’t want to start the pill and then skip because you can’t afford it. Lastly, for safety purposes Mom should always be able to tell a doctor what’s potentially in your system.
Your doctor will prescribe whatever BC pill is right for you but you should do your homework. Present your mom or dad with what you’ve learned about the pill and why it may be right for you. Show them that you’re taking your health and safety very seriously, and tell them you’ll still be using condoms to protect yourself from STDs–you just want to be extra protected! Your parent will be impressed. You’ll seem serious, more adult, and less childlike. Parents trust us more when it seems like we’re retaining some of the wisdom they try to give us.
Pick the turf and invite your most trusted parent.
Instead of just popping into the kitchen or meeting your mom in the laundry room, invite her into your bedroom. You say where and when. It well help you feel a little bit more in control of a potentially uncomfy situation and make the chat feel more official.
Address the elephant.
Feeling awkward? Tell her. Start off by saying, “Mom, I feel so nervous about this conversation.” She wiped your snotty nose and changed your poopy diapers. There’s no need to put up a pretense now.
Make your case.
Sounds hokey, but you can practice in advance what you’re going to say. Be clear, honest and succinct. Just put it out there: “Dad, I want to talk about birth control pills.” Once you just say the words you’ll feel so much better. Then you can really talk.
The real deal?
Your parents are not creatures from another planet. It may have been a million years ago, but they were your age once too; probably feeling everything you feel. At the end of the day, they may not express it well, but all of our parents want is what’s best for us. If your parents wig out, act actually scary, or are otherwise unavailable–talk to another trusted adult, like an aunt or guidance counselor.
Good luck! Just remember that you’re doing the right thing and being responsible–even if it takes your mom a little while to see that.
Have you had “the talk with your mom about birth control? How did it go? Tell me everything in the comments!