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I didn’t so much lose my virginity as I was relieved of it. I was 21 when I finally gave up my v-card to my on-off/drama-filled/never-really-knew-where-we-stood boyfriend, J. I was so ready to stop being a virgin—it was starting to define me. But I had waited so long because I really wanted sex to be special. Meaningful. And frequent! When I was about 19 I figured that since I’d held out that long, I might as well wait until I found someone special.
And then it turned out my someone special had a waterbed. Yes, I lost my virginity on a waterbed. God knows why J had a waterbed in 2005 but he did and I was too in love with him to suggest, say, a stationary mattress for my first time having sex. I don’t recommend this.
The liquid-filled bed was like a third person in the room with us, gurgling and sloshing around like a big fat blubbery stomach. It made way more noise than a regular bed frame, to the point that J stopped in the middle and said the worst thing: “I can’t stop thinking about my parents.”
“You…you what?” I stammered, hoping I’d misheard him.
“No, not like that or anything weird,” he quickly backtracked. “I’m just worried that this damn bed is super loud!”
Well, it would have been the only loud thing. Based solely on movie sex scenes, I expected to either be in serious pain or serious ecstasy my first time. But really, I didn’t feel all that much. At least not in my lady regions. Emotionally though, I was more in love with J than ever. He was sweet and slow and nose-to-nose, always asking me if I was okay. It was so Cruel Intentions!
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But, eventually J’s paranoia got the better of him and we stopped. It was a fairly anti-climactic experience (in every sense of the word) but the real fireworks came the next morning, when my two best friends, Sam and Chrissy, met me for lunch.
As I gushed about J and how happy I was and how I thought this really marked the turning point in our romance, I noticed that my friends were wincing at every word.
“We need to tell you something,” Sam began. “Remember that rumor that J was sleeping with Lizzie?”
How could I forget! I’d had a meltdown over gossip that he was hooking up with one of my friends. But J swore up and down that it was totally false.
“Well,” Chrissy finished, “he was. We drove around all night looking for you to tell you before you slept with him but we couldn’t figure out where J lived! We’re so sorry honey!”
I sat there numbly as they poured out the details. I’d waited 21 years for this experience—who knew I needed to hold out 21 years and one day?
I ended up escaping to Italy for my study abroad about a month later and spending the entire time getting over J. Now, when I meet a boy I’m dying to have sex with, I make sure that I take a good hard look at the kind of dude he really is and wait as long as possible before sleeping with him.
Then I wait one more day.
Are you waiting a long time to have sex? Did you wait a long time? How did you know the time was right for you to lose your V-Card? Tell me everything in the comments!
Do you wish you’d waited longer for sex? Here’s how to deal.
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Im 15 and considering losing my V-Card but afraid it’ll hurt. Any advice?
I’m 18 and I am pretty sure I want to wait until I am married, because I do know that God intended for sex to occur within the confines of marriage, but at the same time I personally could see myself losing my virginity as a young adult, in late college or after, and possibly not regretting it. The bad thing is that since I was about 15 or 16 I’ve worn a purity ring, which demonstrates my promise to save myself for marriage, but I will be 19 in 3 months and honestly I forsee myself potentially changing my mind as I get older. I know my parents would never speak to me again if I did, and most of the other Christians I know would judge me (which just proves their hypocrisy, Jesus did not judge people) but it is MY choice. Only time will tell, I suppose.
Tegan, where are you from, from which country ? I’m christian too
i actually lost my virginity yesterday, on the 4th June 2012, although i am only 14, so far i don’t regret it.
it was with one of my friends and we’ve been hooking up and going to third for the pst couple of months, and so we decided it was time to have sex.
he’s not my boyfriend though. and no one knows except our best friends.
i really hope i don’t regret it in the future :/
Amy xxxx
I really hope you don’t regret that. You are so young, and I know I’m a virgin so I can’t relate but I really wish you luck. Just careful with that because in high school everyone talks and a bad reputation could really bring you down. Stay safe. -M.
How was it? Not trying to be weird, its just i think im about ready. & not how was it like how did it feel, like were you scared & did it hurt and all.
Wow.You’re pretty brave.I have a friend who also lost her v card to her best friend ( a guy) at 14. They ended up continuing to have sex through the years for “experience” and was even cool with having sex with eachother while they dated other people.He was more of a man-wh*** and she thought she she loved him after sex. Sex isn’t love so don’t delude yourself into thinking a guy wants more than sex. In her Junior year of HS she had a miscarriage that no one knew about (it was his even though he used a condom) (they were still bed buddies) and she eventually told him.
well i’m going to wait for the right guy but if i lose my v-card before than .. well stuff happens . i’ll know it’s the right tie when i truly love the person and can see a future with them … and when they feel the same way i feel
Honestly, reading this made me feel a bit better. I’m 21 and kind of in the same state of mind you were. I know it didn’t turn out the way you hoped but I totally understand feeling like you were relieved of you v-card. It’s almost a burden. I have to ask, did he know you were a virgin?
Ah, how women always get tempted by love and think they will be with their one forever, then boom they already gave it up and the person left them!
I’m almost 18 years old and I can tell you I make sure my virginity is heavily guarded. I have long distance love, and we saw one another last year for a week. But I made SURE that there wouldn’t be anyway i was going to lose my virginity. No way, no siree… of course I love, but you know, I’m not going to risk it for the biscuit, or just waste it when I want to wait for the perfect day, on honeymoon after getting married, in a secluded beach, with sound of waves . Oh yeah, that’s worth waiting for. So romantic!!!
Don’t rush … all I’m saying, don’t rush. I’m proud to be virgin. So should others too. Only do it when you get married.
I’m in total agreement with the previous comment. I don’t see how ya’ll do it. Okay, yes, there is such thing as fantasizing and wishing– and actually HAVING SEX. You’re not stupid, you’re not dumb, and if nobody’s put a gun to your head and forced you to to do it, then I say WAIT. Cause if you choose to do it,(and you do it!), its on YOU! That’s why I’m waiting till I’m married. Life is broader than sex, though this big blur called MEDIA and MODERN DAY SOCIETY has led us young people to think otherwise.
You are all taking this to seriously. I lost it when I started making out with some random dude at a party that led to the bedroom. Call me a slut but sex is fun and I don’t understand all this ” the right time, guy and place,” BS. But that is just me.I fine it strang that girls are so worried, intimidated,or even fritend by sex.sex is fun and natural and should not be shamefull.
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 2 months and I love him with everything I have. He means the world and more to me. And we have started to talk about having sex. I’m just scared I will regret it, or when I am older I will have wished I waited longer.. Does it hurt the first time?
My finance’ is the guy i lost my virginity to. We had dated once before and i had fallen in love with him. I knew he was the one for me even after we had broken up. I had never had such great chemistry with a guy as i did with him. Almost two years after we broke up we got back together and this time we had this strong sexual attraction to each other. After only being together 3 months i told him i was ready to have sex. I honestly think i wanted it more than he did. I knew in my heart that it didn’t matter whether we stayed together or not he was the one i wanted to take my virginity. We are engaged and even if we end up breaking up before or after our wedding day i will never regret losing it to him.
My first time was when I last spring when I was 20 years old. It was with my boyfriend of over 2 years. We love each other but I still can’t get passed the fact that we didn’t wait until we were married.
My first time was with my recent ex I was almost twenty and it was great. It wasn’t forced or planned it just happened. I’m catholic and I was indeed going to save myself for marriage but i would hate to save myself for someone who was horrible at sex. No one wants to teach someone something they should know how to do naturally.
Hey, I’m fourteen, and my boyfriend’s 13, younger tham me by 9.5 months exactly. We’ve been going out for a little over 3/4 of a year. I love him so much, he loves me the same, he cares for me, honestly. He knows more about me than I do. See i used to be ssuicidal, i have family and funancial issues beyond my control, he’s the antidepressant that i couldnt live without, seriously, I’d go back to cutting or straight suicide if I lost him. He knows my life is in his hands. If you have heard guns and roses don’t cry (alternate lyrics) our love is parallel to that, ideally. We both plan for our future together. We know all the details. Marriage is definitely in our future, directly out of highschool. Don’t tell someone like me to wait for marriage, weve both found our perfect person is eachother and we both feel we couldnt wouldn’t shouldn’t live without one another. There’s a ddeep perfect connection there.they call it making love as that is what it shall be. A bond. We plan to be protected against pregnancy to the best of our abilities. No one cacan stop me from having my first time at 14 with the person im gonna marry and be with for the rest of my life. Why wait when were ready? We know. We may only be eighth graders but we know more than most adults. Dont underestimate someone that knows more than most of the population.
that is one of the most immature things ive read in a while. it kinda makes me laugh and realize how much everygeneration has in commen with one and other. i remember saying the samethings to my mom and she wasnt kidding either when she told me its young love and that you need to wait and i remember telling her how different it was or me. but one good point she always made that i appreciate is “wuth everything else there is to do in life if you rush to have sex now then what is there to look forward for in your relationship in the future?” and honestly i think the whole suicide and cutting thing is a teen problem to be addressed to because too many people are doing something really dangerous, its a serious issue that has become a fad. look if you got family issues than you need someone to talk to and not rely on a person. that’s not love. and don’t play the poor me crap. everyone’s had it rough at some point. my bf, my friends,other people i know, and I, have been through it all in life. you think you know the world but honey you still have a lot more learning to do which also comes with a lot more life experiences to learn from. slow your roll and find some one to talk to professionally.
I’m not going to say I think it’s fine for Alyssa to have sex at 14 – I don’t. In my opinion, it’s just too early. I’m 16 and am probably going to wait a year or two – that is, if I find someone right. Even if she has found the right person for her, doesn’t that mean they’ll have their entire lives together? Why not wait a bit? The thought of people that young having sex honestly just weirds me out, it’s like my baby sister doing that stuff. She’s too little for it, I think… But that’s not why I’m commenting.
J – I wouldn’t put her down by saying “don’t play the poor me crap. everyone’s had it rough at some point.” You don’t know what she’s been through. Granted, neither do I, but I’m not about to say she hasn’t been through anything really rough. Her situation could be worse than you think.
Also, it sounds more to me like they support each other. Honestly, how is that any different from a successfully, very in love, married couple? They rely on each other to bring each other up when they’re feeling low, knowing that what they give will be returned when they need it. I think it’s good that she’s found someone to help her get through rough times, though I do agree that it might be beneficial to work out those issues within herself so she doesn’t have to worry about them coming up again.
Just my thoughts.
my first time was with my first love. I wasnt ready until 3 years into our relationship and it was on his living room floor before his parents came from work. i was 18 years old and he was a virgin too. i really do not regret it and i am not ashamed of it and even though we are not together anymore i do sometimes wonder if he thinks about our first time when he is in his living room (: haha
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Wow. That sucks.
The worst part of the story is how directionally challenged her friends were. At least they tried though.
If only they made it there on time.*sighs*
My first time sucked major ass! The POS EX BOYFRIEND was too damn small.
Every girl to her own. It can’t hurt to wait, and if you have any doubt in your mind, then you should, but if you’re the type of girl who is able to move on without feeling much pain or regret, then you might choose to do differently. I’m Catholic and I’m not sure how I feel about waiting until marriage, but I hate it when people are preachy about virginity. There’s a difference between having and stating your opinion and making others feel ashamed for what they’ve done or what they haven’t done.
I had my first time when I was 14, yes I know it’s young. I look at my sister that is 13 and I am scared for her just because of such an emotional leap it is. I don’t regret my first time at all. It was with a guy that had liked me and I had liked him since 6th grade, we just didn’t really date until freshman year because of the fact that I always thought it was weird to have a boyfriend so early. So about a two months after we had started dating officially. We did it. I was on birth control and we had condoms. We were pretty well educated about sex and I still feel I was ready, but we didn’t last more than a year and a month. My fault. I won’t go into those details.But the first time, as awkward and kinda scary as it was, I loved it. It didn’t really hurt that I recall and he was the one that was scared that he might have got me pregnant even though I was on the pill and we used a condom. My period came and he was relieved, and I got relief from his worry.
I’ve only been with 4 guys in my life. I take sex seriously and I only go “all the way” with a guy I’m in an official relationship with. The relationship I am in now has lasted almost 3 years (in July) and we may have our ups and downs but we withstand it intact.
My first was special, and still is and I’d like to think he still feels the same. If he doesn’t whatever. But I still trust him and talk to him to this day. No I wouldn’t go back to him, it didn’t go right the first time and it wouldn’t be the same at all. It was a special time for us and we were each others firsts. Missfiction that is one thing I do disagree with you on, just because you aren’t married doesn’t mean it’s any more or less special and that you and your partner are any less special.
I still talk to each of the guys I have been with, one of them is my best friend. I go to him for advice and he just got married and is going to have a kid, I think his wife is perfect for him and I do wish them the best of luck and happiness in their lives together. The first doesn’t need to be the one you marry, it might actually be better if it isn’t. I look back and think what the heck would have happened if we had married? neither me or him would be happy.
So, it doesn’t matter truly how long you wait, but it does matter who it is. That is all up to you.
Oh and it was in the woods outside my house. My mom’s deal is she doesn’t care if I have sex as long as it’s not in her house and it’s safe.
I am now 19.
Im 14 years old n i have been dating my bf for 4 years now n we really want to do it but im a little scared i want to yes but what do u suggest i do because i feel in love with him ik tht one day were going to break up but i would like someone elses advice
I would suggest not I’m. 16 and I have seen my friends do the same thing of your ready you will know for sure but at 14 you may not know what you want ive been earring my boyfriend for 2 years and I know that o just don’t want to deal with that at all in hifhschool Irs to much stress
I’m 17 and my boyfriend and I really want to have sex too, but I think personally that it should definitely wait until you’re at least 20, or married. If you want until you’re married you can avoid all kinds of stress and extra junk. Like, finding out you were unknowingly “the other girl”, or worrying about getting pregnant, or people finding out. There are so many reasons to wait. It’s irritating, I know but I just think about how nice it will be to wait,plus all the stress i don’t have.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for a little under 2 years now, and we just had sex in November (which marked our year and 5 month anniversary) and it was completely special. No, he wasn’t my first and I wasn’t his, but that didn’t make it any less special. You have to make mistakes in your life, to know that you’re really not missing out on anything else. At least that’s the way I took it.
And by the way: it wouldn’t have mattered if the writer of this article would have said, “WAIT UNTIL YOU’RE MARRIED” because irregardless, girls are going to do what they want with their lives.
God.. when you lose your virginity to someone you don’t marry or commit to… your NOT special. Don’t put this is other girls minds. Plus if you DON’T wait i can tell you your experience won’t be as great as waiting. Don’t spoil it. Wait for your man. You can still do fun things like….well stuff. But don’t spoil it until your married or in some way officially committed to that person! Save yourself regret because every woman i know (adult woman) gave it up when they were younger and i cant tell you how much they regret it. If you save it- save yourself- and commit- then you truly are special. If your not married or whatever and you think your in love with someone- don’t do it. Anything could happen. He could be cheating on you or whatever- even the most loyal of them do- i know this can happen in marriages but if you save yourself for him and truly love him it won’t end that way! As long as you don’t rush your way into things and take your time it won’t.
Funny, I thought this article said to wait until you’re ready and a day. At lease that’s what I read.