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I didn’t so much lose my virginity as I was relieved of it. I was 21 when I finally gave up my v-card to my on-off/drama-filled/never-really-knew-where-we-stood boyfriend, J. I was so ready to stop being a virgin—it was starting to define me. But I had waited so long because I really wanted sex to be special. Meaningful. And frequent! When I was about 19 I figured that since I’d held out that long, I might as well wait until I found someone special.
And then it turned out my someone special had a waterbed. Yes, I lost my virginity on a waterbed. God knows why J had a waterbed in 2005 but he did and I was too in love with him to suggest, say, a stationary mattress for my first time having sex. I don’t recommend this.
The liquid-filled bed was like a third person in the room with us, gurgling and sloshing around like a big fat blubbery stomach. It made way more noise than a regular bed frame, to the point that J stopped in the middle and said the worst thing: “I can’t stop thinking about my parents.”
“You…you what?” I stammered, hoping I’d misheard him.
“No, not like that or anything weird,” he quickly backtracked. “I’m just worried that this damn bed is super loud!”
Well, it would have been the only loud thing. Based solely on movie sex scenes, I expected to either be in serious pain or serious ecstasy my first time. But really, I didn’t feel all that much. At least not in my lady regions. Emotionally though, I was more in love with J than ever. He was sweet and slow and nose-to-nose, always asking me if I was okay. It was so Cruel Intentions!
weheartit.com
But, eventually J’s paranoia got the better of him and we stopped. It was a fairly anti-climactic experience (in every sense of the word) but the real fireworks came the next morning, when my two best friends, Sam and Chrissy, met me for lunch.
As I gushed about J and how happy I was and how I thought this really marked the turning point in our romance, I noticed that my friends were wincing at every word.
“We need to tell you something,” Sam began. “Remember that rumor that J was sleeping with Lizzie?”
How could I forget! I’d had a meltdown over gossip that he was hooking up with one of my friends. But J swore up and down that it was totally false.
“Well,” Chrissy finished, “he was. We drove around all night looking for you to tell you before you slept with him but we couldn’t figure out where J lived! We’re so sorry honey!”
I sat there numbly as they poured out the details. I’d waited 21 years for this experience—who knew I needed to hold out 21 years and one day?
I ended up escaping to Italy for my study abroad about a month later and spending the entire time getting over J. Now, when I meet a boy I’m dying to have sex with, I make sure that I take a good hard look at the kind of dude he really is and wait as long as possible before sleeping with him.
Then I wait one more day.
Are you waiting a long time to have sex? Did you wait a long time? How did you know the time was right for you to lose your V-Card? Tell me everything in the comments!
Do you wish you’d waited longer for sex? Here’s how to deal.
Would You Rather?
Wait till your married
LOL “NO NAME” why do you recommend waiting till marriage. What benefit does that confer? Do you believe you will get a “pure man” too?
This kind of response is so so very funny and totally naive.
I lost mine in grade 7 and yes I may not have known anything but it was an experience well worth. I know you dont have to have had sex to be more confident but I think I am and perhaps more so because I am not scared by sex or what it involves ie the mystery surrounding the act. Thanks to my much older boyfriend. He is my stalworth and has helped me with my development. I have no regrets.
Sure those who want to wait till marriege, so be it. But by no means should it be a recommendation. One’s sexuality is a personal thing NOT to be guided by the shitty law or any other person or norm.
” It did not hurt! It was perfect”
I lost my v-card at the age of 18 2 weeks from turning 19. He was my first boyfriend ever and we were dating for 8 months before I decided to have sex with him. We were very in love and I knew from the start he was a good guy. I was nervous at first because all of my friends said it hurt their first time. Mine was perfect and 100% did not hurt and that was because 1 I was ready & 2 I was comfortable with the guy I was with. 4 years later we are still together and happy as ever. Your virginity is a precious thing and is something that can not be rushed. =)
wow i thougth i was the alone at young age reading these qoutes or stroyies made me feel better
Hey I’m 21 and I’m still a virgin. I know this is the stereotypical guy idea but i don’t know how to keep myself in check, I really want to have sex and I’m second guessing myself on not having sex till now. I’ve been dating my girlfriend for 2 years, I love her and she’s a virgin too and she is scared. Of course i won’t have sex with her until she is ready and ok but i guess I’m getting sexually frustrated. Can anyone give me idea on how to control these urges?
I lost my V-card when I was 19 with my boyfriend Kyle. I had waited so long to have sex with the right guy and in my mind Kyle was amazing. He took me to his apartment and we started watching a movie on his T.V. we were both on the couch. he leaned in to kiss me and I kissed him back. He then grabbed my waste and before I knew it he was on top of me. Kyle started to take his shirt off and I unzipped his pants. We sat up while kissing and I took my shirt off and he removed my bra. I then laid down on him and he started to squeeze me against him and then some how he managed to get his pants and mine off. He then started to grab my but and squeeze/rub it. Since it was my first time I didn’t exactly know what to do. Of course though he asked if I was okay and I kept kissing him. At one point in the night he picked me up and pressed me against the wall and grabbed my legs. We soon went to his bedroom and he laid me down on his bed and started kissing me all over and he removed his underwear. His dick was humongous and I finally started to make love to him. We went under the sheets and the night carried on. When I woke up it was before him so I got dressed when the doorbell rang and a girl told me that she left something in Kyle’s bedroom from the other night. So I left Kyle’s apartment and broke off our relationship. Trading in my V-card was horrible.
still waiting at 29…its not worth giving it away
is that by choice or circumstance, emily??
Do you breathe, eat, drink, defecate, sleep, walk, talk etc etc ? Well sex is a similar necessary function. Yes you may not want to have sex but laying a moral value on it is not necessary.
Remember you are at an age when your market value will dwindle. The natural laws of atraction and mating dictate that the younger female species are the ones in demand.
There is NEVER the right time or the RIGHT PERSON. It is all a matter of give and take and compromise. In the same way as you think no guy is worth your virginity, guys may think the same of you.
You need to understand that everyone has their flaws that can be modified and made user friendly. The idea is not to look for flaws but to search for positive aspects that give your fulfillment and pleasure and qualities that you may find attractive.
There is too much emphasis on detecting negatives and by doing so many good opportunities will pss you by.
Yes you may want to stay high up on the shelf collecting dust. At some stage you will want a companion, but it might be all too late. I dont say just rush in, I say be sensible with your expectations.
It’s me again, and on wed Dec 19th around 11 o clock am, i lost my v card. Actually we swaped v cards because he was a virgin too. And it was amazing. As completely terrified as I was he was so gentle and loving and constantly checking on me and taking it very slow and telling me we could stop at any point or continue waiting.
But i followed through with our plan and i didn’t hurt badly. It was completely manageable, I didn’t bleed, and we were completely safe so I know there is no chance I am pregnant!! It was such a wonderful experience. He held me afterwards and told me how much he loves me and we talked about the future again. I now know I made the right choice and that nothing changed besides that we’re a little more in love and that i’ll marry this man. He is perfect for me and he loves me just as much as I love him.
For me, this was the right decision and I couldn’t be happier
I’m nineteen, turning twenty in a month, and i’ve been going out with this amazing guy for a little shy of a year and a half. He’s seriously the most amazing man I’ve ever met. I have always hated relationships. They scared me but with him everything has been so natural and he has never pressured me at all and he absolutely and unconditionally adores me. He’s 21 and graduating. Taking over a business and working on moving out. So basically he’s set and about to take off into the adult world.
I broached the subject of sex with him because lately i’ve bee thinking of giving my virginity to him. He has promised himself to me. We even have a plan for our future. But as soon as we decided that we would make love (he is a virgin too) i randomly became terrified.. And i can’t pin point why. Especially because i want to love him completely and give myself to him. But for some reason i just am so scared. (I also get scared easily and am a nervous person haha so that definitely is playing a part)
I just don’t want things to change or for him to end up leaving me after i give it to him. Or to get pregnant.. Yeah all of these fears are real but i mean he won’t leave me (pretty sure, he’s made it vastly clear he is planning on marrying me) and sex brings you closer together and if we’re careful i shouldn’t get pregnant.
I’m just nervous because i have no one to talk to about this monumental event that is coming up soon and it’s been so drilled into my head not to have sex before marriage by my mom. She actually even asked me one day if i thought i would be able to ever give my virginity up when i was married because i hold it so close and protect it so dearly. I told her of course, but now i’m not so sure. I might not even be able to bring myself to give it to the love of my life. Ugh, why is this so scary and hard.
Plus i don’t want to hurt