My First Time Having Sex

when I was losing my virginity, I had sex on a waterbed like this one

waterbedgallery.com

I didn’t so much lose my virginity as I was relieved of it. I was 21 when I finally gave up my v-card to my on-off/drama-filled/never-really-knew-where-we-stood boyfriend, J. I was so ready to stop being a virgin—it was starting to define me. But I had waited so long because I really wanted sex to be special. Meaningful. And frequent! When I was about 19 I figured that since I’d held out that long, I might as well wait until I found someone special.

And then it turned out my someone special had a waterbed. Yes, I lost my virginity on a waterbed. God knows why J had a waterbed in 2005 but he did and I was too in love with him to suggest, say, a stationary mattress for my first time having sex. I don’t recommend this.

The liquid-filled bed was like a third person in the room with us, gurgling and sloshing around like a big fat blubbery stomach. It made way more noise than a regular bed frame, to the point that J stopped in the middle and said the worst thing: “I can’t stop thinking about my parents.”

“You…you what?” I stammered, hoping I’d misheard him.

“No, not like that or anything weird,” he quickly backtracked. “I’m just worried that this damn bed is super loud!”

Well, it would have been the only loud thing. Based solely on movie sex scenes, I expected to either be in serious pain or serious ecstasy my first time. But really, I didn’t feel all that much. At least not in my lady regions. Emotionally though, I was more in love with J than ever. He was sweet and slow and nose-to-nose, always asking me if I was okay. It was so Cruel Intentions!

weheartit.com

But, eventually J’s paranoia got the better of him and we stopped. It was a fairly anti-climactic experience (in every sense of the word) but the real fireworks came the next morning, when my two best friends, Sam and Chrissy, met me for lunch.

As I gushed about J and how happy I was and how I thought this really marked the turning point in our romance, I noticed that my friends were wincing at every word.

“We need to tell you something,” Sam began. “Remember that rumor that J was sleeping with Lizzie?”

How could I forget! I’d had a meltdown over gossip that he was hooking up with one of my friends. But J swore up and down that it was totally false.

“Well,” Chrissy finished, “he was. We drove around all night looking for you to tell you before you slept with him but we couldn’t figure out where J lived! We’re so sorry honey!”

I sat there numbly as they poured out the details. I’d waited 21 years for this experience—who knew I needed to hold out 21 years and one day?

I ended up escaping to Italy for my study abroad about a month later and spending the entire time getting over J. Now, when I meet a boy I’m dying to have sex with, I make sure that I take a good hard look at the kind of dude he really is and wait as long as possible before sleeping with him.

Then I wait one more day.

Are you waiting a long time to have sex? Did you wait a long time? How did you know the time was right for you to lose your V-Card? Tell me everything in the comments!

Do you wish you’d waited longer for sex? Here’s how to deal.


Posted in: Cheating, Health, Sex & Relationships, Love&Sex, Relationships, Sex, Virginity
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101 Comments

  1. avatar E says:

    That sounds like an awful experience… I know I’d be crushed. I recently only made out with a guy who seems to have fallen off the face of the earth now (he’s super distant and now I understand he’s a coward and should have told me he’s not interested anymore) but that alone was enough to get me feeling down for days. So this, I know, could probably kill me (I am a virgin as well). I give this gURL props for having to deal with that. And to ALL gURLs out there, take her bit of advice and wait until you know more about the guy!

  2. avatar Luis says:

    I Love Sex

  3. avatar azzu says:

    I’m also birgin person and want lose my verginity

  4. avatar Elizabeth says:

    The first time I had sex was with my ex boyfriend at 16. I can tell you we did not really love each other and we only did it just because we thought everyone was doing it. We also rushed it sinc we were only together for two weeks. It was the most awkward thing I ever did in my life!!!!!! It wasn’t as good as everyone said it would be or as good as the movies would be. It only lasted about 5 minutes. I did not bleed but it did hurt a bit. Our sex was so unnatural and there was no spark at all. After the sex we were so ashamed that we couldn’t even look at each other. I couldn’t believe that that was the sex everyone was making a big deal out of. The sex did affect our relationship resulting in us breaking up weeks after.

    When I was 18, I had sex the second time with my boyfriend after being together for 9 months into our relationship. We knew that we were ready and we loved each other a lot. Also I was extremely comfortable with him and he was also a virgin. The sex was really great and we both enjoyed it a lot.

    After two years, we are still together and continue to have PROTECTED sex regularly. My advice to anyone wanting to lose their virginity is that it may not be as exciting and perfect as the movies or people tell u. The chances of it being not as exciting may increase if you are nervous, you are not comfortable with the person, you rush into having sex and if you are pressured into it.

  5. avatar Romi says:

    Hey I’m currently 17 & I always wanted to wait til marriage but I’m talking to this one guy & well he’s 15 but will be 16 in march I’m about 1 year 1/2 older than he is & we both really wanna do it badly, & we’re both virgins, but I mean, sex is something that I always wanted to be special & I’m like indifferent about giving it up just like that, & I always wanted to wait til marriage but at this point idc about relationships or love, I just wanna give it up, & just enjoy it, but at the same time, the thought of it makes me nervous, & were kinda like FWBs, is that a bad thing? Like I don’t wanna feel like I’m being trashy or anything, I mean I just want it, & so does he, what do you recommend?

  6. avatar Anne says:

    I’m 17 and still a virgin. I don’t have a boyfriend at the moment but I do have lots of guy friends. I don’t know if I should choose to do it with one of my guy friends who I trust or if I should wait until I’m in a committed relationship. I’m not scared about having sex for the first time and I am ready to do it, but I’m nervous about it. Got any advise for me?

  7. avatar Liz says:

    Okay I’m 15 years old and I’ve been talking to this guy and we don’t go out yet even though he has asked me out I wasn’t ready for a relationship but I know him better now and I actually want to lose my V-Card to him. But I’m scared of the pain since I heard black guys are pretty big.

    • avatar Lunabunaa says:

      I would wait till you were in a relationship for awhile. Things can easily go wrong and 15 is young.

  8. avatar Claire says:

    I’m nervous

  9. avatar Alli says:

    I’m 16 and also a virgin. Losing it scares me because of all the stories I’ve heard of it hurting really bad. And it scares me because of the emotional attachment that women seem to get after they have sex with somebody especially their first!

  10. avatar evelyn06 says:

    All my friends who are sexually active say the first time you have sex, its the most horrible feeling. And the second time is even worse. Does sex actually feel good? Or is it just straight out painful . .-.

    • avatar raven says:

      honestly when it comes to losing it for the first time it only hurts alittle… but if the guy is rough and doesnt understand when he’s going to hard it can hurt really bad

  11. avatar No name please says:

    Wait till your married

    • avatar larissa says:

      LOL “NO NAME” why do you recommend waiting till marriage. What benefit does that confer? Do you believe you will get a “pure man” too?
      This kind of response is so so very funny and totally naive.
      I lost mine in grade 7 and yes I may not have known anything but it was an experience well worth. I know you dont have to have had sex to be more confident but I think I am and perhaps more so because I am not scared by sex or what it involves ie the mystery surrounding the act. Thanks to my much older boyfriend. He is my stalworth and has helped me with my development. I have no regrets.
      Sure those who want to wait till marriege, so be it. But by no means should it be a recommendation. One’s sexuality is a personal thing NOT to be guided by the shitty law or any other person or norm.

      • avatar Gina says:

        Larrissa, I gave my virginity away when I was thirteen. It was perfect and I don’t regret it. I love to have sex with boys and do it as often as I can. It’s fun, clean, and very pleasurable! I agree there is no benefit waiting until marriage; the guy will have had sex and those who do wait will have missed out on some fantastic and delicious fun.

  12. avatar Ev says:

    ” It did not hurt! It was perfect”
    I lost my v-card at the age of 18 2 weeks from turning 19. He was my first boyfriend ever and we were dating for 8 months before I decided to have sex with him. We were very in love and I knew from the start he was a good guy. I was nervous at first because all of my friends said it hurt their first time. Mine was perfect and 100% did not hurt and that was because 1 I was ready & 2 I was comfortable with the guy I was with. 4 years later we are still together and happy as ever. Your virginity is a precious thing and is something that can not be rushed. =)

  13. avatar filicity says:

    wow i thougth i was the alone at young age reading these qoutes or stroyies made me feel better

  14. avatar Ale says:

    Hey I’m 21 and I’m still a virgin. I know this is the stereotypical guy idea but i don’t know how to keep myself in check, I really want to have sex and I’m second guessing myself on not having sex till now. I’ve been dating my girlfriend for 2 years, I love her and she’s a virgin too and she is scared. Of course i won’t have sex with her until she is ready and ok but i guess I’m getting sexually frustrated. Can anyone give me idea on how to control these urges?

    • avatar khan says:

      ale salute to your purity plz be patience till your marrige may god give you a prince of your dreams and dont waste you v card with anonymous oerson keep it for your husband as you know no one like open candy like that no one like an open girl

  15. avatar Maddie Hatch says:

    I lost my V-card when I was 19 with my boyfriend Kyle. I had waited so long to have sex with the right guy and in my mind Kyle was amazing. He took me to his apartment and we started watching a movie on his T.V. we were both on the couch. he leaned in to kiss me and I kissed him back. He then grabbed my waste and before I knew it he was on top of me. Kyle started to take his shirt off and I unzipped his pants. We sat up while kissing and I took my shirt off and he removed my bra. I then laid down on him and he started to squeeze me against him and then some how he managed to get his pants and mine off. He then started to grab my but and squeeze/rub it. Since it was my first time I didn’t exactly know what to do. Of course though he asked if I was okay and I kept kissing him. At one point in the night he picked me up and pressed me against the wall and grabbed my legs. We soon went to his bedroom and he laid me down on his bed and started kissing me all over and he removed his underwear. His dick was humongous and I finally started to make love to him. We went under the sheets and the night carried on. When I woke up it was before him so I got dressed when the doorbell rang and a girl told me that she left something in Kyle’s bedroom from the other night. So I left Kyle’s apartment and broke off our relationship. Trading in my V-card was horrible.

  16. avatar emily24 says:

    still waiting at 29…its not worth giving it away

    • avatar Monica says:

      is that by choice or circumstance, emily??
      Do you breathe, eat, drink, defecate, sleep, walk, talk etc etc ? Well sex is a similar necessary function. Yes you may not want to have sex but laying a moral value on it is not necessary.
      Remember you are at an age when your market value will dwindle. The natural laws of atraction and mating dictate that the younger female species are the ones in demand.
      There is NEVER the right time or the RIGHT PERSON. It is all a matter of give and take and compromise. In the same way as you think no guy is worth your virginity, guys may think the same of you.
      You need to understand that everyone has their flaws that can be modified and made user friendly. The idea is not to look for flaws but to search for positive aspects that give your fulfillment and pleasure and qualities that you may find attractive.
      There is too much emphasis on detecting negatives and by doing so many good opportunities will pss you by.
      Yes you may want to stay high up on the shelf collecting dust. At some stage you will want a companion, but it might be all too late. I dont say just rush in, I say be sensible with your expectations.

  17. avatar Kri says:

    It’s me again, and on wed Dec 19th around 11 o clock am, i lost my v card. Actually we swaped v cards because he was a virgin too. And it was amazing. As completely terrified as I was he was so gentle and loving and constantly checking on me and taking it very slow and telling me we could stop at any point or continue waiting.

    But i followed through with our plan and i didn’t hurt badly. It was completely manageable, I didn’t bleed, and we were completely safe so I know there is no chance I am pregnant!! It was such a wonderful experience. He held me afterwards and told me how much he loves me and we talked about the future again. I now know I made the right choice and that nothing changed besides that we’re a little more in love and that i’ll marry this man. He is perfect for me and he loves me just as much as I love him.

    For me, this was the right decision and I couldn’t be happier :)

  18. avatar Kri says:

    I’m nineteen, turning twenty in a month, and i’ve been going out with this amazing guy for a little shy of a year and a half. He’s seriously the most amazing man I’ve ever met. I have always hated relationships. They scared me but with him everything has been so natural and he has never pressured me at all and he absolutely and unconditionally adores me. He’s 21 and graduating. Taking over a business and working on moving out. So basically he’s set and about to take off into the adult world.

    I broached the subject of sex with him because lately i’ve bee thinking of giving my virginity to him. He has promised himself to me. We even have a plan for our future. But as soon as we decided that we would make love (he is a virgin too) i randomly became terrified.. And i can’t pin point why. Especially because i want to love him completely and give myself to him. But for some reason i just am so scared. (I also get scared easily and am a nervous person haha so that definitely is playing a part)

    I just don’t want things to change or for him to end up leaving me after i give it to him. Or to get pregnant.. Yeah all of these fears are real but i mean he won’t leave me (pretty sure, he’s made it vastly clear he is planning on marrying me) and sex brings you closer together and if we’re careful i shouldn’t get pregnant.

    I’m just nervous because i have no one to talk to about this monumental event that is coming up soon and it’s been so drilled into my head not to have sex before marriage by my mom. She actually even asked me one day if i thought i would be able to ever give my virginity up when i was married because i hold it so close and protect it so dearly. I told her of course, but now i’m not so sure. I might not even be able to bring myself to give it to the love of my life. Ugh, why is this so scary and hard.

    Plus i don’t want to hurt :(

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