Having Feelings–Even Strong Ones–Doesn’t Make You “Crazy”

This girl is not crazy she is just in loveI’m so sick of girls getting labeled as “crazy” when they’re just really excited or really sad or really whatever. When a guy is really excited about somebody he’s started dating, people think of it as so sweet and awesome that he’s admitting his feelings for her. Nobody thinks he’s crazy. When the same guy is crushed after a breakup and cries about how much he misses his ex, people think he’s sensitive and tender in a way more guys should be. Again, he gets props for admitting his emotions–nobody’s calling him crazy. But a girl in the same situation? Oh boy. She’s nuts! Calm down, girl!

This emotional double standard is nothing new, either. Back in the Victorian days and up through the 1920s, women were routinely hospitalized with “hysteria.” Hysteria basically meant that doctors thought disruptions in a woman’s uterus made her have “excessive” and “dangerous” emotions that required medical sedation. You read that right–women were hospitalized for having feelings, and forced to take drugs to dull them.

Now, of course there are people (guys and girls!) who have mood disorders. Bi-Polarism really exists, so do panic attacks, anxiety, depression, and other issues that are serious and need medical attention. But when we call every Tina, Dana, and Holly “crazy” for having a meltdown once in a while–we’re making light of those really real issues, while trivializing the very normal feelings of a girl who probably just needs someone to listen to her.

Think about it this way–you know that Adele song, “Someone Like You,”–the one everyone loves? Right. Well, if that wasn’t a song by someone famous, if that was a poem one of your girlfriends wrote a year or two after breaking up with a guy she really liked–chances are, she’d be labeled as super crazy. I mean, those lyrics are kind of . . . intense! But um, we’ve all felt that way at least once, haven’t we? That’s why the song is so popular!

So, the next time you hear someone call a girl you know “crazy,” take a step back and think about what she’s really going through. Have you ever been in similar shoes? If you were in her situation, might you be just as upset or just as happy? Because the truth is, she’s probably not crazy. She’s just a girl with feelings.

Have you ever asked yourself, “Am I crazy?” Has anyone ever said that you were crazy for having strong feelings? What did you do or say? Tell me all about it in the comments.

Need To Have A Serious Talk With Someone You Love? Here’s How.

Posted in: Being Yourself, Health, Sex & Relationships, Help&Advice, Love Advice, Love&Sex, Relationships, Sucky Emotions, Your Life
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  • Ally

    My ex-boyfriend and all my “friends” called me crazy after he dumped me… but after the way he treated me, I think you’d be crazy NOT to be upset. It hurts being called crazy, though. I’m a very emotional person but now I do my best to hide it so I don’t get called crazy.

  • Nie

    lol I cried but I picked melsyf back up and moved on and then I seen him the other day in a gas station and he asked if I wanted to hang out and I agreed to it, So we met up and it was awkward and I was kinda a bitch to him so he dropped me off and left I texted him a few hours after that had happend and I told him how I really felt about him and he never texted back and I dont know what to do about it I don’t wanna lose him before its too late. I’d love to hear back from you.

  • Martha

    HaleySure I guess you could do all that stuff but the main thing to do is go up to this girl and tell her that I love you and always will.If you say this I erauantge you will have your girl back. Just try it even if your scared to. You need to ask yourself these questions:Do I want to spend my whole life with her?Do I want her? And how bad.

  • Maria

    SarahYour advice to Michael sndous great, but I wish I knew how to apply it to my situation. My boyfriend and I have had a good relationship for four years, and we’re still together, but it feels like we’re emotionally divided. When my feelings get hurt and I need to talk, he gets mad at me and tells me I’m annoying. He’s not really there for me. If I tell him I feel lonely though, then he lashes out at me and I feel lonelier still. How do I get my boyfriend back, even though our relationship is still technically together’? It feels like he’s left me emotionally.

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