I’ve been there. I’ve also gone ahead and told the guy how I felt about him, only to learn that he wasn’t as excited about me. Hello, disappointment!
The thing is, having feelings, whether they’re happy and excited or sad and hurt, is totally normal and not crazy at all. They are your feelings, and what are we here in this life for if not to feel things? Sometimes other people’s feelings won’t match yours, and that sucks, but it doesn’t mean your feelings were wrong–because feelings are never “correct” or “incorrect”–they just are. So the next time you’re asking yourself “Am I crazy?,” just know that you’re probably just human.I’m so sick of girls getting labeled as “crazy” when they’re just really excited or really sad or really whatever. When a guy is really excited about somebody he’s started dating, people think of it as so sweet and awesome that he’s admitting his feelings for her. Nobody thinks he’s crazy. When the same guy is crushed after a breakup and cries about how much he misses his ex, people think he’s sensitive and tender in a way more guys should be. Again, he gets props for admitting his emotions–nobody’s calling him crazy. But a girl in the same situation? Oh boy. She’s nuts! Calm down, girl!
This emotional double standard is nothing new, either. Back in the Victorian days and up through the 1920s, women were routinely hospitalized with “hysteria.” Hysteria basically meant that doctors thought disruptions in a woman’s uterus made her have “excessive” and “dangerous” emotions that required medical sedation. You read that right–women were hospitalized for having feelings, and forced to take drugs to dull them.
Now, of course there are people (guys and girls!) who have mood disorders. Bi-Polarism really exists, so do panic attacks, anxiety, depression, and other issues that are serious and need medical attention. But when we call every Tina, Dana, and Holly “crazy” for having a meltdown once in a while–we’re making light of those really real issues, while trivializing the very normal feelings of a girl who probably just needs someone to listen to her.Think about it this way–you know that Adele song, “Someone Like You,”–the one everyone loves? Right. Well, if that wasn’t a song by someone famous, if that was a poem one of your girlfriends wrote a year or two after breaking up with a guy she really liked–chances are, she’d be labeled as super crazy. I mean, those lyrics are kind of . . . intense! But um, we’ve all felt that way at least once, haven’t we? That’s why the song is so popular!
So, the next time you hear someone call a girl you know “crazy,” take a step back and think about what she’s really going through. Have you ever been in similar shoes? If you were in her situation, might you be just as upset or just as happy? Because the truth is, she’s probably not crazy. She’s just a girl with feelings.
Have you ever asked yourself, “Am I crazy?” Has anyone ever said that you were crazy for having strong feelings? What did you do or say? Tell me all about it in the comments.