From The Message Boards: How Important Is Physical Attraction In A Relationship?

Are Looks Important

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Imagine you meet the guy of your dreams. He’s funny, smart, likes the same things as you and is the biggest sweetheart ever. Only catch? He’s kind of lacking in the looks department. Do you let your lack of physical attraction to him ruin the relationship… or does it not matter to you?

Basically, we’re asking: are looks important? Is physical attraction a huge part of a relationship, or is that just superficial? We saw this topic in the message boards, and haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. Read what these girls had to say about looks in a relationship, and then let us know what you think.

silver44 said:
How important would you girls say physical attraction is in a relationship? I know a guy who wants to date me, and he’s perfect other than the fact that I’m just not physically attracted to him.

(L)iveYourLife replied and said:
I couldn’t date somebody who I wasn’t physically attracted to. Looks matter, and sex is an important part of a healthy relationship. Keep looking and don’t settle for someone who doesn’t meet your standards!

Brittany and Artie on Glee

Artie might not have been conventionally attractive, but it didn't matter to Brittany.

luckybiatch replied and said:
It’s important and I do agree with the above gURLS, however when I first met my boyfriend, I wasn’t necessarily physically attracted to him. I believe girls, including me at the time, have standards higher held than girls in the past would, because of how media is portraying beauty. The more I got to know my boyfriend, the more physically attractive he became in my eyes. Not even a short while after beginning to date, I found him sexy and handsome (and his attractiveness just increases even to this day). So I believe even though you’re not physically attracted to this guy, I bet if you give it time, you might actually become more attracted. In my opinion, the personality of an individual makes them better looking. Looks can only last so long (we all age), but personality lasts a lifetime.

So what do we think? The fact is, no matter how shallow it sounds, physical attraction is important in a relationship. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t date a dude unless he’s a male model… all it means is that you have to be a little attracted to the guy in order for there to be sexual chemistry.

That being said, luckybiatch is exactly right when she said that the personality of a person makes them better looking. If a guy doesn’t look exactly how you want him to but his personality is amazing, you’re going to find him attractive no matter what. In the end, a relationship is about a strong emotional and physical attraction – with an emphasis on the emotional.


Who do you agree with? How important is physical attraction to you? Tell us in the comments.


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Posted in: Discuss, Health, Sex & Relationships, Hooking Up, Love&Sex, Relationships, Your Life
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  • Carla

    How does it feel when you touch his skin?

  • Steph

    I’ve known this guy for a long time infact I call him my brother. Just recently he asked me to marry him. He is a responsible and God fearing person but I don’t think forever when I see him.I don’t like it that I feel this way


    for me the more i love the personality the more attractive the guy gets….wonder if that’s weird lol

  • Hedwig

    Maybe isn’t important… but sometimes when you date an ugly guy is still awkward

  • Kiri

    Physical attraction is a very important role in relationship it wouldnt work without it. They dont have to be hot for to be attracted them though they could even be the ugliest known to mankind. Physical atraction is when you have that tingly feeling or cant seem to stop wanting to be with them. So yes its tottaly a important part of a relationship.

  • Climb

    I think theres a difference between looks and physical attraction. I can date someone who is very hot, but doesn’t turn me on at all. Or I can date someone who’s conventionally ugly, but can get me hot and bothered. So looks aren’t important, but physical attraction is.

  • thalisha marie

    The fisical atraction is very important because is you are ugly knowbody are going to like you and is you are fisically atractive you would have many guys that like and they would be crazy to date you.

  • Liz

    I do think physical, attraction maters in a relationship. it kind of secures things for me when my boyfriend expresses how attractive I am, its nice to, know that I don’t have to worry about him being around other attractive girls but at the same I believe personality heightens physical attraction. When I first met my boyfriend I thought he was hot and sexy but now OMG words can’t describe how attractive he is because of his sexy personality.. Ugh I get hot just thinking, about him 🙂

  • tiablack

    As a very shallow person, I couldnt date anyone who I didnt think was cute. Their personality matters but not just as much.Think of it this way if you just met or saw a guy you couldnt automatically know thier personality you just base your attraction off of their looks.

  • Lisa

    Completely agree. I remember when I first became interested in my ex I loved his personality but I told my mom he was kinda ugly. Soon after that I thought he was the cutest guy ever… But, there are some people who I just know I would never find even a little bit sexy. Sorry, I’m sure some people feel the same about me anyway lol.

  • Nicole

    My boyfriend is very tall and skinny. He’s not conventionally attractive, but he is the sexiest person I have ever seen and I am very attractive to me.

    • Nicole

      *He is very attractive to me.

  • Missfiction

    WHY are you asking? Ok some l gURLS on here might disagree with me but it shouldn’t matter i think as long he’s not like old or something but looks alone…. shouldn’t matter in fact i find every body i see attractive. Well some people might not look as good as others but concentrate on their personality more. You’ll see they are B-to the-e-to the-a-to the-u -tiful!

  • Ree

    Well I used to have a crush on this really gud lookin guy but his personality was such a turn off I started to see him as an ugly person-physically