Confession: I Am Going To Be Single Forever

katy perry, russell brand, divorceThis doesn’t mean that I don’t want sex or intimacy, what it means is that I don’t want a commitment and certainly not a husband. Let’s keep it real, chica, marriage isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I hate to lay down the law, but just look at Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries, Katy Perry and Russell Brand, and to top it all off (depending on the source) forty to sixty-seven percent of marriages end in divorce and the people who stay together may not even be happy in their relationships.

What this means is relationships are a lot of work. Just think about it: having a great relationship with a friend is hard, so having a healthy romantic relationship must be really hard. The few people I know who are happy in their relationships are the first to tell you it is an ongoing process of some serious communication, awkwardness and compromise. That is fine (and extremely fulfilling) for some people, but it’s not for me. The truth is, I can give you a million good enough reasons why I don’t want to be in a relationship, when really: I am just not into it. It’s the same way my BFF can pull off hot pink lipstick and blue eye shadow, while I just can’t (and Jebus knows I tried). It just doesn’t suit me.

I think that’s OK and I am even willing to admit that one day that might change – though I don’t expect it to. I am perfectly happy carrying on with a few friendly-man-friends, keeping our lives separate and unattached. Being someone’s girlfriend or wife isn’t my thing. In the end, what it comes down to for me is simple: you shouldn’t let your relationships define who you are, you should let who you are define your relationships – romantic and otherwise. I may never look good in blue eye shadow, but I can always rock the hell out of the purples and reds.

Do you enjoy being single as much as this girl? Let us know in the comments!

Next check out how to be a good ex-girlfriend!

Posted in: Confessions, Health, Sex & Relationships, Love&Sex
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  • serah ivery

    I plan on being unmaried for the rest of my life too. not single but definantly not married. cause getting married is bacicly saying “drop all of my dreams and plans for your dreams and plans” in most cases.

  • papu kurdi

    i’m agree with u that u belive in ur self n u think that u don’t need anyone (or let’s say any boy) to help u in ur life time , its so good..sometimes i think like that too but in some of the cultures u can’t do that alone for ex my culture BUT I KNOW THAT I BELIEVE IN MY SELF SO I THINK THAT I CAN CHANGE THIS N DO EVERY THINK BY MY SELF…

  • guinevere0501

    You know, I thought that I didn’t want or need a bf for so long! but now since I have had a bf I love being in a relationship!

  • Katie

    I will first say everyone is entitled to their choices. But I personally disagree. If you continually tell yourself and everyone that you truly dont want a love life you might miss the perfect person. Maybe you truly dont want marriage but I would never completely close myself off to love.

  • sonal

    i soo agree with you. as of today i totally share your mindset. i just like my independance and mood swings tooo much to ever change and i do find myself complete ( even with all my faults and weaknesses) and im not looking or even wanting for some my dreamy to come by and sweep me off.

  • porcelaintears

    I guess it’s different for everyone. Relationships ARE a lot of work, but for those of us in happy, committed relationships, we don’t see it as “work.”

  • Alli

    Look, I have to disagree with the people who call her foolish. (btw this is a very well written article!!! love it!) But what she’s trying to say is that she’s not into putting forward all this time and commitment, and you know what? None of you have the right to judge her. It took courage (and an aptitude for writing!) to say this and she’s called foolish?! Uh-huh, because we all just LOVE to anonymously judge people online….but whatever. I’m not saying I don’t want commitment, love and sex, but I think she’s a bold and honest person, not at all foolish. And I’m in the same boat as her (maybe because all the guys in my area suck, but whatever….it still counts.).

  • Lisa

    Probably you have never been in love. It changes you in great and sometimes scary ways.

  • Lily

    I actually agree with this gurl. I absolutely feel the same way. Many people think it’s silly of me, and my mom has basically picked out a husband (he has to be tall and she wants grandkids! lol), but I know that I don’t want to be committed to anyone. Thanks for writing this. It really is nice to know that someone else shares these thoughts.

  • zombie.doll

    Personally, I believe that we’re kind of meant to end up with someone eventually, I don’t feel like we, as humans, are truly complete without a counterpart. I’m not saying everyone needs a relationship to be happy, I just think that that’s one of the ultimate points in life. I’m a very monogamous person, but I love and am happy with myself, I can think for myself, and I know what I want to do with my life, but my main goal is to get married and have children, housewife would be my dream job. That’s just the way I am. Even if you don’t want children or to be a housewife, I still think it’s almost necessary to find someone that makes you, well, whole. Someone that brings out the better part of you and that you want to spend the rest of your life with. Finding that person tends to be a long and difficult process, but I think it’s something we all do at some point because we need it.

  • star

    not all marriages fail. in today’s culture people are obsessed with passion and romance and finding the right one. there is no such thing as the right one. no one out there will ever be that perfect fit for you. we are humans. you are always gonna find something that you dont like about someone else. love is beautiful. its the most amazing feeling ever. love is not perfect and neither is marriage. you cant just leave your partner for any foolish reason thinking that there still is the right one out there for you. people give up too easily and celebrities dont make it any better. they jump from one relationship to the other and get divorced too quickly. you have to be able to communicate, negotiate, compromise, sacrifice, EVERYTHING to make a marriage work (relationship too). Everyone will fall in love one day and its up to you to decide how you’re gonna handle it. are you gonna fight it and resist or are you gonna wanna stop wondering and know already and take a chance? i’m pretty sure you’re gonna take that chance.

  • Penny

    I feel the same way. I’ve always had friends older than me, and they’re starting to get married now, and I can’t understand it. My two most common stress dreams are about getting married or being pregnant.

  • Annapurna

    I’m like you, Emerald: I will probably never date. Except for a blip that lasted all of two years, I’ve never been interested in either guys or girls, and it’s never bothered me. It’s refreshing to know that there’s someone else out there like me.

  • schuyler

    I completely agree with you! Preach it girl! I have been in relationships, but i never wanted marriage, like you, and now i have definitely stop bothering with relationships. and I think its wonderful that you already know not to mess around with relationships and marriage when you haven’t dealt with cruddy relationships! I think that this is a good thing to get out into the world that you don’t a mate to make you feel happy! Keep the good work

  • Heather

    Oh i just love this article. “I want to do everything when I want, when I am ready, and I don’t need anyone getting in my way. That sounds horrible, I know, but it’s a large part of my personality and I can’t see myself becoming a compromising person” ,”I am just not into it”
    Love these parts because i feel the exact same way. People are questioning me all the time about when i’m going to get a boyfriend and why i don’t have one. I mean i’m 18, to see myself in a relationship right now is really hard.I just don’t get why young people find it so important to look for ” the one”.
    Don’t get me wrong…if it happens, i mean “love” yeh, so be it. But until then, i just love being single and i won’t have it any other way .

  • Missfiction

    I disagree. I have so much to say about this. IT IS better to have loved than lost. It is what makes us human. I am just like you. I am very, very selfish. And i know to much about how marriage isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. BUT i am also a compassionate person. And i can tell you why marriages don’t work. Don’ you blame it on your honey. Or yourself. either its because you two rushed into the marriage ( which is what most people do… and that’s why almost all marriages fail) Or… well that’s mostly it. POINT HERE : women and men NEED TO KNOW when you have sex it does not mean LOVE. Idiots! That’s why marriages fail! You think you love the guy and you rush into it. TAKE YOUR TIME PICKING OUT YOUR PERSON. You will find your soulmate! Dont be foolish like the lady who wrote this article! She is probably gunna run into a man one day and fall in love. Love has no boundaries when its true.