Confession: I Am Going To Be Single Forever

katy perry, russell brand, divorceThis doesn’t mean that I don’t want sex or intimacy, what it means is that I don’t want a commitment and certainly not a husband. Let’s keep it real, chica, marriage isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I hate to lay down the law, but just look at Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries, Katy Perry and Russell Brand, and to top it all off (depending on the source) forty to sixty-seven percent of marriages end in divorce and the people who stay together may not even be happy in their relationships.

What this means is relationships are a lot of work. Just think about it: having a great relationship with a friend is hard, so having a healthy romantic relationship must be really hard. The few people I know who are happy in their relationships are the first to tell you it is an ongoing process of some serious communication, awkwardness and compromise. That is fine (and extremely fulfilling) for some people, but it’s not for me. The truth is, I can give you a million good enough reasons why I don’t want to be in a relationship, when really: I am just not into it. It’s the same way my BFF can pull off hot pink lipstick and blue eye shadow, while I just can’t (and Jebus knows I tried). It just doesn’t suit me.

I think that’s OK and I am even willing to admit that one day that might change – though I don’t expect it to. I am perfectly happy carrying on with a few friendly-man-friends, keeping our lives separate and unattached. Being someone’s girlfriend or wife isn’t my thing. In the end, what it comes down to for me is simple: you shouldn’t let your relationships define who you are, you should let who you are define your relationships – romantic and otherwise. I may never look good in blue eye shadow, but I can always rock the hell out of the purples and reds.

Do you enjoy being single as much as this girl? Let us know in the comments!

Next check out how to be a good ex-girlfriend!


Posted in: Confessions, Health, Sex & Relationships, Love&Sex
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39 Comments

  1. avatar Lauren says:

    I’m 14, and right now, I do not want a boyfriend. My dad and stepmom have been bugging me about it (the usual “any cute boys” and trying to get me to meet some guy that lives across the street.) but I just don’t want it. I feel like having a boyfriend would hinder my creativity, and since I’m still in the process of learning guitar and writing stories, having him there would serve as a distraction rather than an advantage. I also plan on never getting married (that got my dad MAD) but that’s just me. I know I’ll want a relationship, but not for a long time, and God knows if I’ll ever find the right man.

    • avatar Vanessa b xx says:

      Good on you girl!! Ur right, ur 14 u should concentrate on being a teen and u have plenty of time for men later on. Too many teens are wasting time on getting boyfriends when they only get used, pregnant and no career. So im suprised at ur parents cus thats what NO PARENT wants for their young daughter

      Obviously i dont kno u but im so proud of u. Keep ur head up!

    • avatar katie says:

      I just turned 14 last month and now my 21 year old sister is trying to hook me up with a guy from our dance class. I keep telling her that I need to focus on my reputation, she just doesn’t understand that having boyfriends will eventually ruin everything. Someday I will look for my knight and charming prince. But for now choose to single to be single for as long as God wants me too.

  2. avatar singasong says:

    Hi. I’ve had one bad relationship ending and another FWB ‘relationship’ to date…both guys pretty much see me as meat and make contact when they want ‘fun’. Honestly speaking, it feels great in the moment but downright sucks after…end up questioning my actions and feeling like a slut. I’m tired of having someone ‘intimate’, but not intimate enough to share my ups, downs and love with. I’m only in my early twenties and have come to the point where I want to focus on my career – it’s extremely promising, myself and my health – I love keeping fit and working out. Maybe someday I’ll adopt too…a little girl of my own. No thanks to anymore disrespectful, unfeeling men.

  3. avatar sade says:

    god,this story sucks 1) get good education 2) see what life brings and 3) if you meet a guy you like talk to him 4) if that guy turns out to be a total ass 1) is there to help you.

  4. avatar Melissa says:

    I totally agree with you
    I’m only 17 but there is so much I wanna do with my life and I feel like a bf would only hold me back
    and the idea of sharing my life with someone for months or even years just completely grosses me out
    I’d much rather just do what I want, when I want it and not be attached to anyone
    I feel like that way I can live my life to its fullest

  5. avatar mary says:

    Well I do see myself getting married in the future. But as of right now I can completely understand. Im only 18, there are so many things I want to experience in my 20s I feel like a relationship will only be a burden. I have met many guys who would make awesome boyfriends but the idea of having a boyfriend while Im traveling in Italy seems like too much. Who know I might meet an Italian stallion along the way? hahaha, a girl can dream. Side note, ive never had a BF, it gets a little lonely but then i remember i dont have to deal with the bad times!

  6. avatar blueraven says:

    I’m still pretty young (freshman in high school as of right now), but I don’t really want a love life. I see girls with boyfriends being happy when they’re around them then later they start having issues and I don’t want that. Sometimes I get annoyed by a few people, even my friends, who date guys and boast about saying their longest relationship was a year and how with this guy they could beat that record. Or letting a relationship be known, if that even makes sense.
    I’m tall (5’7” 1/2) which rules out guys from dating me since they want someone shorter than them (it’s not my fault puberty hasn’t strucked them or left them unhappy).
    I’ll probably start thinking about love when I’m like 24 or something. I tell some of my friends this and they usually say I’ll meet someone soon.
    It’s nice of them but I want to be single; it’s not bad to.

  7. avatar Yao says:

    Maybe it’s because all of the women you’ve been with aren’t right for you. That’s how it was for me execpt for one person.Here’s my story. I fell in love with my best guy friend not long ago. We’ve been good friends for two years before we fell in love. We aren’t together (long story), but we still love each other and will always be there for each other. One day, I think we will be something great once he realizes what he has with me. My opinion is, I think it makes a relationship work out better if you’re good friends before you start anything intimate. That way you already have an understanding of that person before you take a leap into intimacy.

  8. avatar Sammie says:

    After a while I’ve decided to cut the crap and just be single forever. I’m only 16 and I might change my mind but I’m fine by myself. A while back I needed boyfriends because I was insecure and I needed validation but now that I’m not insecure anymore I don’t see the point of dating…I just think it’s best to be myself and do what I want by myself. I know some people who even found their soulmates when they adopted this mindset but I couldn’t care less, a soulmate is too much trouble for me. There might be rainbows, sunshine and all that crap but I’d also be forced to face my own problems and my soulmate’s problems. If he has a lot of emotional issues it won’t work and in the end both of us will be left with the pain and it doesn’t just hurt when you break up with your soulmate, it hurts like hell. I really don’t want to go through that right now. But then by being so stable and whole by myself meeting him would be imminent. So what now, should I go back to being insecure? Hell no. It’s pretty complicated. Meeting your soulmate at the wrong time can mess you up for life because if it doesn’t work you’ll be forced to think about him forever and ever and ever. And ever. And you live with the pain till you die.

  9. avatar Fafafa says:

    My single status is involuntary.

    :foreveralone:

  10. avatar Gurl_1 says:

    I can relate completely.

    No, I did not have any bad relationship experiences in the past.

    Yes, I do know some couples who’ve been together for a long time.

    It doesn’t change the way I feel about it though. I’m an independent person, just like the author of the article above, and I do agree that keeping healthy friendships is hard enough let alone being in a relationship.

    Strange enough though, I don’t mind reading or watching the odd love story or two… it’s just that I can’t imagine it ever being something that would work for me.

    Also, it’s not as if I don’t want to see marriage as a prospect in the future, it’s just that I don’t and that’s what’s hardest for my friends to come to terms with.

  11. avatar lexasweetheart says:

    well i do won’t to get married but im not really a person who has boyfriends all the times but i guess its ok being single.

  12. avatar Aly says:

    Honestly, I thought I was the only one who felt like this. I feel like love is this projection that humans are suppose to strive for in an evolutionary sense to keep our species going. I don’t intend to have anyone in my life, and sometimes when I tell anyone I know about my beliefs I get labeled a vegetable. I’m not saying I don’t have feelings, but I’m completely shipped with you on the matter of independency and self-security.

  13. avatar JadeSkellington says:

    Well I guess it all matters on the person’s happiness. If you are content and fine with being single, then I don’t see the problem with it. Although using celebrities as examples aren’t always a good idea, I mean really? The reason why marriages fail is probably because they rush into it or are not compatible with each other. I mean, come on, not every marriage out there are failures and just because many celebrities are getting divorced that doesn’t always prove something. Either way, you should just do what makes you HAPPY. If being single makes you happy, then fine, that’s cool by me. At least you aren’t one of those people who feel the need to be in a relationship 24/7 (nothing wrong with wanting a boyfriend or whatever, but I think some people care too much about it)

  14. avatar Amelia says:

    Honestly I feel the same way. I really just don’t want to get married. My last relationship ended really badly and I realized I don’t want to go through that hurt again. Plus, I’m super OCD. I like things done my way and I’d probably drive my significant other nuts. I plan on focusing on my schooling, then work, having maybe some FWBs but nothing with feelings. Then when I’m ready I’m thinking I might adopt and be a single parent. I think it would just suit me better. I’m independent and want to stay that way. My mind might change in the future but right now this is my life plan and I think it’s an awesome one.

  15. avatar Emily says:

    it’s true not everyone marries or desires to get married, but to be honest I honestly don’t believe you should look to hollywood for relationship advice. Best advice I got was be friends before you ever become lovers.

  16. avatar Ashley says:

    I have to say I disagree with this article. Yes marriage isn’t for everyone but using celebrities especially kim kardashian and russell brand are terrible examples. Many of those celebrities use marriage as a publicity stunt and way to promote themselves with the divorce afterwards. Marriage should not be judged by a celebrity scale. On a second note, I believe humans aren’t meant to be alone and being married is just companionship and love. Why wouldn’t you want that? When you love someone, it isn’t work. Also, being married does not mean giving up your hopes and dreams by any means. In fact, having someone with you can help you realize it faster. Marriages fail because people rush into or are not compatible.

    • avatar Emily says:

      i could not agree more with you….
      i think Everone should look at their grandparents relationships or older couples…. anmd think about how they can stay together for so long.

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