Debate Club: Is It Ever Okay To Date Your Friend’s Ex?

Dan, Blair and Serena on Gossip Girl

Serena would flip if Dan and Blair dated.

Okay, so imagine your BFF just got out of a relationship with a super hot, great guy. It’s been a few months, and suddenly he’s flirting with… you. You’ve always had a little crush on him, ever since before they started dating, and now it looks like your chance to actually date him. Do you go for it, even though your friend was with him first?

Dating your friend’s ex can be a really, really bad situation. But some girls do it… and some girls are even okay with it. What do you think? Does it depend on who broke up with who? Would you do it? Would you like if your friend did it to you? Read what the editors of think, and then tell us your opinion.


Friends: Girl Code

Girl Code - friends are more important! | Source:

Jessica Says: NEVER – It’s Called Girl Code
I would never date one of my friend’s exes, and I hope that they know better than to never date mine. No matter who dumped who, it’s a sensitive situation… and your friend is definitely going to be uncomfortable (if not furious) about seeing you with her ex. It’s just awkward, not to mention mean! Trust me, dating the guy your best friend just dated is going to ruin your friendship, or at least put a serious strain on it. It’s just not worth it.


Group Of Guys

There are plenty of dudes out there | Source:

Emerald Says: There Are Plenty Of Other Guys Out There
Why on Earth would you date your friend’s ex? Is nothing sacred or off limits in 2012? Not only is it unethical (certainly not the same as, like, eating cute kitties for breakfast, but definitely on the list of unethical things), it’s also kind of icky. Is your friend’s ex the last man on Earth? Is there no one else you know? If you’re willing to date your friend’s ex, then you’re probably not really friend’s with this “friend” of yours. You wouldn’t date your friend’s dad? (Or maybe you would!) Some things are just common courtesy and a gesture of respect. No matter how much you like your friend’s Ex, you can always find someone else you like just as much – after all they broke up for a reason.


Guy Crying and Sad

Guys get hung up on exes too. | Source:

Melanie Says: No, But Because Of Him, Not Her
A few years ago, a good friend of mine actually set me up with a guy friend of hers who she used to date. She not only said it was okay, she was the one who made it happen! But the more I hung out with him, the more I realized he kept asking me about her, asking if cool things I did were her idea, what she was up to. I was upset about his apparent hang up until I realized that this super cute guy had more issues than a subscription to Mad magazine. People think it’s always the friend who will wig out if you date her ex, but sometimes it’s the ex himself!


Dating Friend's Ex

Things might get awkward | Source:

Julie Says: If She Says It’s Okay… Maybe
If you talk to your friend and she’s really ok with you double dipping in her dating pool, then I say it’s fine. One warning though: Sometimes people can’t anticipate their emotions. Even if your friend thinks she’ll be fine with the date recycle, once the plan is in action, she might react in a bigger way than she thought she would. So, if after date two, you sense your bud isn’t cool with the situation, even though she said she would be, you’ve got to talk to her and figure out what makes the most sense for your friendship. And that might be aborting mission.
Who do you agree with? Would you date your friends ex? Have you ever? Tell us in the comments.


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