Don’t worry, you and Kristen Stewart aren’t the only ones – plenty of girls are shy! In fact, how to overcome approach anxiety is probably the question most frequently asked of me and my fellow “College Dating Coach”, Dave. My first suggestion is to open with something you have in common: If he’s a classmate, ask him about the History homework. If he’s a cook at Chick-fil-A, inquire about the secret ingredient of the Spicy Chicken Sandwich you love. Or, if he’s a member of your girl scout troop, find out what the hell he’s doing in a girl scout troop. Using info you already have to get a dialogue started may be the oldest trick in the book, but it’s lasted through the ages because it actually works!
If you know absolutely nothing about him, you can use your environment to spark conversation. For example, while seeing him in line for the movies, ask if he’s seen the The Vow yet, which you intend to watch with a friend. Hopefully he’s like you and won’t have trouble chatting once someone else initiates — in which case he’ll take the hint that you’re interested in getting to know him and make his own contributions to the exchange (e.g. “I haven’t seen The Vow—but have you seen those washboard abs on Channing Tatum? Ridiculous!”) Before you know it, you’ll be making plans for Saturday night.
Should you hit a dead end, feel free to try again in a few days. For all you know, you could be catching him at a bad time. But if he’s still not responding to a second attempt, he’s either uninterested or so painfully shy that he likely wouldn’t be a good match for you anyway. You might be best paired with an outgoing guy who can draw you out of your shell.
Let’s hope that your confidence and initiative inspires this crush of yours to open up – the man of your dreams could be one conversation away!
Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Ethan, email him at firstname.lastname@example.org!
How To Talk To Guys