Lose Your Virginity
Help! I am 15 years old and in January I lost my virginity. It was with a boy who I had known for two years and had very strong feelings for, but I didn’t have a proper relationship with him. We met up a few times a week for that full two years to hook up. One night things got rather carried away and we had sex, it was nothing like I wanted it. I wanted my first time to be really special, but it wasn’t.
A month has passed, and now the boy I did it with only talks to me when the conversation has something to do with sex. I thought I trusted him and I thought he wouldn’t just stop talking to me after we did it. I’m starting to get really paranoid that he might have just been talking to me just so he could sleep with me. Right after we did it, he started going out with another girl and I was so confused. Because I had sex with him, my feelings did grow stronger, and now I’m always upset.
I wish I could go back in time and change everything, but I can’t. WHAT SHOULD I DO?!
If I could, I would come over there and give you a huge hug. I’m so sorry that your first time wasn’t as special as you wanted it to be – and that this guy turned out to be so disappointing. It stinks when something we’ve always thought about doesn’t happen the way we want it to, but unfortunately, that’s just how life is sometimes.
Losing your virginity is a big thing for a girl, and I’m sure it seems like everyone around you is losing it in some super special way with a really great dude. In movies and TV shows, it’s all candles, roses and sweet “I love you’s”; but the sad truth is that in real life, it’s usually not like that. The first time having sex is not great for every girl – it can be awkward, disappointing, and messy. So trust me, you’re not alone here.
That being said, what happened is in the past, and there’s nothing you can do to change it. Now it’s time to move on from that bad experience and to get over this loser guy who treated you badly. He isn’t worth your time or energy, and he definitely isn’t worth crying over (read my advice on getting over someone for more tips).
The good news is that now you can learn from your mistakes and focus on your next first time with a different dude. Before you have sex with someone new, make sure you have a conversation about where your relationship is going. Don’t jump into sex with anyone else unless you know they love and care about you, and you feel totally comfortable with them. I’m not saying you have to wait until marriage, but just give yourself some time – the first time is important, but that doesn’t mean the second time can’t be just as important.
What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at firstname.lastname@example.org
Lose Your Virginity