From The Message Boards: Do You Have To Be Single To Have A Real College Experience?

Dating In College

Should you be single? | Source:

College is supposed to be the best four years of your life. It’s supposed to be the time when teenage boys and girls “find themselves”, when they start to mature, make a whole new set of friends, go out and have fun, have new experiences, and generally just have a great time. Here’s the question: can you be in a relationship and still do all of that? Or should your college years be spent single?

We started thinking about this after seeing this post in the message boards. Do you think college is a time to be on your own? Should you break up with your high school sweetheart just so you can experience other things (and people)? Or is that totally ridiculous? Check out what these girls think, and then give us your opinion in the comments.

xbubblexwandsx asked:
I have a friend who argues that the college experience must include “branching out socially, growing alone” etc. Basically being single, meeting people, dating around. Even if they’re happy with someone, they need to experience more people for it to be a “complete college experience”. Does anyone agree with this?

roserade said:
Hmmm… I’m more on the pro-spotlight of college experience actually. I have two friends who dated for two years in secondary school. They go to the same college, live together, sit together, and rush home to each other nightly. I feel that they are both missing out on being young people even though their relationship is really happy.

I don’t think college has to mean drink or romance. But I think if I was still dating someone who was in my school I wouldn’t of experienced a lot of college stuff…

Or should you keep wearing his jacket? | Source:

a_wolves_spirit said:
I completely disagree. Personally, I have no need or want to “experience” multiple people and I definitely don’t see that as the point of college. I agree that you should branch out and meet lots of people, but you can do that without sexual activity. Granted, some people DO want to experience other people and for those people, perhaps they should take a break from relationships and just have some sexy fun with sexy people. With that said, I don’t think everyone HAS to do this to get the “complete college experience.” I live in a dorm, I stay up all night to study, I starve, I overeat, I’m poor, I make new friends nearly every day, etc. In my opinion, I’m living the college experience.

Our opinion? College is definitely the perfect place to meet new people and do new things. If you’re looking for a time in your life to be free, do what you want and be single, then college is that time. But if you’re already in a happy and committed relationship, you shouldn’t feel like you have to break up with that person just because you’re going to school.

If you have a happy and balanced relationship, having a significant other during your college years isn’t going to hurt you or ruin your experience. You can absolutely still get the most out of college without sleeping around – hooking up with lots of people might make a great experience for some people, but everyone is different. In the end, do what makes YOU happy.

Who do you agree with? If you’re in college, are you single? Do you want to be single in college? Tell us in the comments.


Is your number of sexual partners important to you? Discuss.

Posted in: Boards, Discuss, Health, Sex & Relationships, Hooking Up, Love&Sex, Relationships
Tags: , , , , ,
  • alex

    I’m a second semester freshman in college. My whole life, I have been single. This changed four months ago when I met my now boyfriend, Luke*. The first semester I partied hard and didn’t focus much on school. This semester, I am now going to party a lot less and study a lot more because the education is what college is really about. I think the college experience is different for everyone and each person should enjoy college in the way they want to. -A*

  • Bianca

    My boyfriend is in college, he’s a freshman now. I don’t see him often and sometimes on weekends I want to party but he gets upset if I even tell him I want To go. He said he finds it pointless to party if he’s not with me bec I can’t dance with guys obviously. He said he doesn’t like to party when I’m not there either bec he can’t have as much fun as he does when I’m there. Idk what to say, I feel like he’s being selfish for not letting me party without him. I told him I just want to party bec I want to hang with friends and socialize, you know?

  • Tina

    Hmmm.. I’m in my first year of college and I broke up with a really good guy over this. I thought I needed to start another page in my life book- start fresh with everything. He’s still pretty hurt, and I still miss him terribly sometimes, but I think it was the right thing to do. I’m still finding out the kind of person I want to be.

    Although I do have a (hypothetical) question… so long as it’s a new page and the past is history, would it would it cause a problem to occasionally hook up with your ex (assuming you told him the scenario)?

  • Alexandria

    This is the question I’ve been debating over for the past couple of weeks. I now am in college with my boyfriend of 2 and a half years. At first, it was going to be the most exciting time of our relationship! He is a grade ahead of me, so he already experienced a year there, made friends, developed connections, and has regular hang out places. At first, I thought this would be awesome. I would have it SO much better than all the other freshmen. But, I quickly realized I’m not happy with that. I want to develop my own friends, find my own places, and have my own connections separate from his… but it’s so hard to do when he is pressing his way of everything down my throat. It has made it so difficult to make friends. He is an amazing boyfriend–he is sweet, caring, he would hand the world to me on a silver platter, and most importantly he is my best friend, but I’ve tried talking to him about the issue and all that happens is he gets upset, or I hurt his feelings. I’m starting to believe that going to the same college was the worst idea for our relationship. I’ve found it hard to branch out and make friends outside of the clique he has already formed. I have no interest in having sex with other boys, or even other relationships, but it would be nice to go to a party without him getting mad about every guy that talks to me, and not having any girl friends to have fun with. Honestly, I’m not sure what I’m going to do.

  • isbel

    I agree with the gurl above why not live the experience with your boyfriend, i am currently a high school senior graduating less thn a month. Ive been in a realtionship since my sophmore year. I meet him my freshmen year, hes always been my best friend and someone i can trust . We will be attending college together. Some may think i wont get the whole college experience, but i dont care what they say. I dont want to be a slut and get around thats not me. I just know that i do care about him and i know he really cares about me. We have grown up together during our highschool time and we will continue to grow and mature together during college.

  • Jaime

    I met my boyfriend right before my junior year of college. I got the first 2 years of freaking out with studying and finding new friends. Now it is nice to have him to go to because I am past the partying. It’s time to graduate from college and find that new chapter of my life outside of school. Hopefully he will come with me.

  • Pingback: Sex on the Wire: Outdated Relationship Rules To Ignore | 21 Kisses.COM()

  • Lisa

    I don’t see anything wrong with having a boyfriend or girlfriend in college as long as you make a point of having nights when it’s just you and your friends. Ever since my friend got a new boyfriend (now her fiance) no one sees her anymore because she won’t even go anywhere without him. Blegh.

  • Pingback: Crush Links: Outdated Relationship Rules To Ignore()

  • KidNamedCuDi

    I’m a junior in college, an up until VERY recently I had been single all through out my first two and a half years. Yeah, I had hook-ups and one night stands but none of them were good. So in that aspect, being single SUCKED. But I also made sure to get involved and do as many things as possible to try to get the most out of my life, and I don’t think that is necessarily going to stop just because I’m in a relationship. I still enjoy meeting new people, getting involved in social activities, and doing all the fun things I used to. I mean, sure I can’t grind up on some random guy at a party, but that does get old too.Right now I’m in a relationship while in college and I like it so far, more than I expected I would. And there is definitely something to be said for having sex on a regular basis….

  • Taylor

    I am in my first year at college and still dating my high school sweetheart. HOWEVER, we do not go to the same school so it is a totally different scenario than seeing him everyday. It is super hard, I miss him terribly, but on the other hand I have had some amazing experiences I may not have had if I was in the same place as him. I stay with him because I know he is the love of my life. We have been together for 6 years, and he is my best friend. We trust each other, and I think that is the key. If you aren’t secure in your relationship with that high school love, then you should probably go separate ways. Because if you do something that he doesn’t like, it will start a horrible fight. I drink. My boyfriend has chosen not too. However, he trusts that even though he is not with me,, I will remain faithful. And I always have. So, I think I have the best of both worlds. But trust me, it’s tough.

    • isbel

      I can imagine how hard it must be. I wish the bbest for u

    • Claire

      I dealt with the same thing my freshman year of college. We dated for a solid year before college, and planned on breaking up for it but just couldn’t. I would visit him a lot but because of that, I missed out on meeting people at my school to go see him. It distracted me from my schoolwork and after we broke up second semester, I met SO many people and gained a ton of friendships. He wanted to be single for awhile and I was a mess when we broke up, but my friends got me through it and I ended up having an even better rest of the year than my ex did. I even started talking to a guy from my school, which has been an exciting opportunity considering I devoted almost two years to my ex. Don’t get me wrong, I will always love my ex because we had a wonderful relationship, but right now is the time to be selfish and find MYSELF. Things always work themselves out. If it’s really meant to be, we’ll find each other after college. In the meantime, I’m gonna enjoy myself these next few years without the heartache of missing someone and just be happy.

  • Missfiction

    I know its really stupid (for you people maybe) but im not going to let relationships be my main focus in high school or college. I want to experience dating of course, but im just saying im gunna not focus on tryin’ to find a boyfriend like most gURLS do cuz i wanna be independent and not.. like.. ya know tryin to be in a relationship or anything. In fact i find the whole boyfriend and girlfriend (or ya know boy and boy gURL and gURL , whatevs) is totally overrated! I mean i can understand if things get real serious with you and your huny or whatever but when your dating you should let yourself and the other person explore with other people (ok not going to far with some1else but ya know let them date other people) until something gets really serious between u 2. Idk im just saying im totally gunna focus on my life and while im young and i have so many people to meet. Im just sayin’ you have your whole life in front of you dont wanna limit yourself! im just gunna be all like hey man, whats gunna happen let it happen God meant it to be tht way. but dont limit yourself to one person unless you truly love them!

    • Ifedimma

      i love your answer!!! 🙂

    • Mike

      you talk about god yet your gonna go fuck a bunch of guys before marriage… right…

  • Lilly

    I agree yet disagree..I mean I am in college and I do enjoy having all these crazy adventures and making long lasting memories but I also have a boy friend who I met in college and love him,sometimes I wish I could just go loose and met new guys and do whatever I want but its not worth risk. College could be about having the time of your life and it should be unforgettable and fun but that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be single to have that much fun,why not live the experience with your boyfriend.