talk to your boyfriend
Jake seemed withdrawn. We usually sat together at lunch but today he wanted to sit alone. As we walked home I made our silly jokes but he mostly just nodded.
Then we walked past Chelsea, the corner barista and his eyes lit up. All of a sudden he was smiling and waving. Now it was my turn to be sulky.
“If you wanna be with her just say it!,” I blurted out. Obviously he was cheating on me with Chelsea.
“What?” he asked. We were now that couple, standing on a street corner arguing.
“I’m not stupid, Jake. You’ve been weird all day and now you’re all up in her face.”
Jake shook his head. A tear rolled down his cheek as he explained. His dad was diagnosed with lung cancer but he just wasn’t up to talking about it yet.
How often do we do this? We play guessing games about what other people’s actions mean. We put together Hollywood-worthy back-stories for drama that exists only in our minds. We say, he always texts right back but now he hasn’t texted back in an hour. He must be cheating — but really, he was just in the movies with his phone off for two hours!
If you need “Mind Reading Rehab” like I did, here’s how to stop acting like a nutcase and learn to talk to your boyfriend.1. DON’T jump to conclusions.
When you’re trying to read between the lines and the lines aren’t there you are your own worst enemy. Back off. Don’t forget what they say the word “ass-u-me”means.
2. DO just ask.
Instead a playing a mean game of dating espionage, just ASK. I know, sometimes it’s not that easy to talk to your boyfriend. But many times we’re just running around in our brains without our own supervision. Before jumping to conclusions, always ask.
3. STOP taking everything so personally.
Each individual on the planet is starring in their very own melodrama, not yours. Everything is not about you. Don’t take the actions of others so personally.
4. GIVE your sweetie a chance to explain.
Part of being in a relationship is actually relating to what the other person is going through. So talk to your boyfriend, and be sure to listen to what he says.
5. DO trust your intuition.
When you stop being paranoid you’ll learn to read your true intuition. Trust yourself. Some folks are shady. If it walks, talks, smells like a duck, it’s probably a duck. Don’t ignore things that are plain as the nose on your beautiful face.
Paranoia is plain out bad for you and your relationship. You are being your own worst enemy. It’s easy to give in to anxiety and create problems where there aren’t any. Some of us grew up without seeing the best relationship communication skills but that’s okay because we can learn to do better now.
When you think something’s up, do you talk to your boyfriend or do you tend to jump to conclusions. Be honest and tell me in the comments!
talk to your boyfriend