Boards
When Zac was with Vanessa, he was close to Ash | Source: Zimbio.com
Boyfriends Best Friend Is A Girl
Dear Heather,
My boyfriend has a best friend who’s a girl (and she’s gorgeous) and sometimes I feel like he will always put her before me. We fight all the time because of her and I told him he’s not allowed to see her but he doesn’t listen. He says I should trust him and she’s like a sister to him but I can’t stand her and she’s not nice to me. What do I do? I love him, he’d never cheat on me, I know it. I’m just scared.
I totally understand you being worried about your boyfriend’s BFF. It’s normal to feel jealous about your BF spending alone time with another girl, especially a girl he obviously is really close to. However, (and you might not want to hear this) this is something you need to learn to deal with for the sake of your relationship.
Fighting with your boyfriend over this girl and telling him he’s not allowed to hang out with her is definitely not the way to handle this. Acting that way is only going to make your BF angry and it will probably eventually push him away. Think about it: would you like it if he told you who you could and couldn’t hang out with? Unless something seriously shady is going on between them, you really don’t have the right to tell him he can’t see his best friend anymore.
DON'T do this with the girl - or him. | Source: Datingish.com
Instead of arguing with him, try explaining to him calmly how uncomfortable this whole situation makes you feel. If you’re completely honest with him, it might make him a little bit more sympathetic – but it probably isn’t going to make him dump her completely. Just ask him to be open with you about what they do when they hang out together. Let him know that when he puts her before you, it really hurts your feelings.
Also, you should definitely make nice with this girl. Ask him if you can hang out with the two of them sometimes. Get to know her and see what she’s all about. I’m not saying you have to make her your BFF also, but learning more about her and becoming friendly with her might make her seem like less of a threat. It will also make your boyfriend happy. If he feels like he can hang with both you together, then that might cut down on their alone time; plus it’ll impress him that you’re making an effort.
The main thing is that if you genuinely do trust your boyfriend, you need to accept his friendship with this girl. You said yourself you don’t think he would cheat on you – and if he’s telling you she’s like a sister to him, he probably means it. Unless you notice them being weirdly flirty or getting too close for comfort, you shouldn’t worry. It is possible for guys and girls to just have a platonic friendship.
take care,
heather
What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com
Should you ever be friends with benefits with your ex? Read what Heather thinks.
Boyfriends Best Friend Is A Girl
But what if he he used to be in love with her while he was with his other girlfriends?
My situation is that I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 2 years now and he’s always had those fake “best friends” and I knew that they were trying to aim for something more. But, he recently just met someone new and it’s only been 1 week and they are suddenly best friends. They text everyday 24/7, even when I’m with him. She keeps asking to come over and hang out with him but I don’t know the girl and I just think it’s strange because she just recently got dumped and now my boyfriend and her are best friends. It just doesn’t sound right to me. I’ve been through a lot with cheating boyfriends and I know how girls think; “I’ll just be best friends with him and then slowly start building up the friendship to something more.” I know that not all girls are like that, but this girl seems like it. I’m a really jealous kind of person and I am really insecure with myself. Him and I keep fighting about it and then talk about it very calmly, but he still doesn’t make a change. I over think a lot and I really don’t want to be replaced as his girlfriend AND as his bestfriend! We do everything together and I don’t want to see another girl do the same things that I like to do with him. I don’t know what to do. Should I get a guy best friend or should I not? Should I see how he would feel? What do I do…?
what if his ‘girl BFF’ is his ex.
I hv been in this situation too..i met my bf online n we r in ldr. Its been one yr n he loves me truly. The problem was he had a girl best fren.. N she used to use him as a flirting fren to jealous her ex. They seemed quite close whn i came in his life n i respected their frenship a lot.. Bt as time passed by i didnt like the way she still tried to be close to him evn after i was his gf..n the way they commented on fb.. So i hd a huge fight with him n he said he doesnt need anyone except me in his life..so we continued our relationship n i later tried to explain him hw insecure i feel being emotionally close to an opposite sex fren ..as i too myself hd many experiences whre i hd lost old frenships bcos my male frens started getting attracted to me..so i dont believe in opposite sex frenship too mch n ofcourse no gf wud stand her man being close to another girl.. I m mch happier nw…as there is less frustration n jealousy..thanks to my bf who put my feelings above evrything else
Omg im on the other side of the story.. My best friend i met online to and we are really close.. i could talk to him bout anything. And now we may not be able to talk anymore.. Same situation as the gurl who posted. But the thing is the gf is pretty herself so i dont understand why she feels that way. I dont have the intention of stealing anyone from any body who they are in love with. But anyhow.. it sucks
I already miss him
I guess you would understand if you were the girlfriend in the situation. It sucks when there’s another woman your boyfriend can be close with and tell things to. It sucks even more when the girl insists on calling your boyfriend and asking him to play games with her even though she knows he has a girlfriend.