Dear Ethan: Okay, so my boyfriend wants to give me oral, and I’m just a little confused because I really don’t see what pleasure he would get out of it. Plus, wouldn’t it be awkward?
Any sexually experienced woman in a long-term relationship will tell you that unprompted proposals of oral sex are like chocolates or flowers – they don’t come around every day, so you might want to accept when they’re presented…
But jokes aside, I know you’re writing because you want a guy’s perspective. So I can tell you with confidence that pretty much all the dudes I know enjoy performing oral sex with any girl they’re into. And while some simply appreciate the act itself, all of them enjoy the fact that it makes their ladies feel good! Just as you may receive satisfaction from the look on his face upon handing him a plate of freshly baked cookies, administering a relaxing massage, or flipping the channel to the Lakers game, we’re turned on by you being turned on.
Now, obviously your boyfriend won’t be the only one participating — your personal experience is just as important. In that respect, try to keep in mind that the awkwardness of any sexual undertaking is in the eye of the beholder (or, I suppose, the “private parts” of the beholder). Take foot fetishes, for example – anyone not into having their toes tasted might find such an inclination bizarre, but if a footjob aficionado can find a lady who’s into tongue-administered pedicures, you’ve got a match made in heaven! In other words, sex can be very subjective, so a trustworthy partner whom you can relate to should help make bedroom experimentation a lot less awkward.
With all of that said, if there’s ever anything you’re not ready to try or are simply uncomfortable with, don’t feel bad about standing your ground, no matter how strange or “normal” the act may seem. After all, dating a mature guy who can patiently respect your boundaries is the healthiest way to expand them eventually. The path to cunnilingus isn’t a race!*
*That is, unless you’re competing in the 2012 Oral Sex Olympics—in which case, it is.
Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Ethan, email him at firstname.lastname@example.org!