From The Boards: Is It Okay For Your Boyfriend To Call Other Girls Hot?

Boyfriend Looks At Other Girls

Try not to stress this too much... | Source: Glamour



As much as a girl would love for her boyfriend to have eyes only for her, the reality is that no matter how devoted your man is, he still checks out other girls. It doesn’t matter if he says he doesn’t, or if he acts like he doesn’t notice that other women are pretty. Reality check: we ALL do it. It’s natural! There’s no harm in looking, as long as nothing else is happening.

But does that mean it’s okay for your boyfriend to voice his opinion out loud on that hot girl that just walked by? Just because he might see a really attractive girl, does that mean he has to actually tell you about it? We found this topic being discussed in the message boards, and we’re curious as to what you girls think. Are you cool with your boyfriend calling another girl hot or not? Read what these ladies think and then tell us your opinion.

Zombocalypse asked:
My bf always says stuff like “damn she’s got nice *bleep*, or she got a nice ass”. It just hurts me so much. He does this all the time. He says he loves me, but I’m kind of starting to not believe him. And I feel that he’s more into making out. He says he’s never loved anyone before me. But… It just hurts. Is this normal?

Boyfriend Checking Out Other Girls

He's going to look no matter what you say | Source: Glamour

Squiggles! said:
Total jerk! He’s in a relationship with YOU, not the girls he sees or remembers. He shouldn’t be commenting about them. Of course he’s young though, and most guys today believe the whole “look but don’t touch” saying, which is pathetic. He’s trying to give himself an excuse to say, “I’m a guy, it’s normal”. Sure, it may be normal for him to look, but he should have respect for you to keep it to himself.

whitnei92 said:
It’s normal for him to act that way. He’s still immature, but moreover he’s just being a typical guy. At his age that’s all he can probably think about. I wouldn’t take any offense to it, girl. To get back at him, you should do some of the things he does and make some of the same comments. I used to do that to my ex boyfriend. It usually made both of us laugh. Definitely don’t take it personal.

Our opinion? Like we said before, being attracted to other people (even when you’re in a committed relationship!) is totally normal. And hearing your guy comment about another girl’s looks once in a while shouldn’t drive you crazy. But if he’s doing it constantly and it’s really upsetting you? Not too cool.

Say something if you’re super uncomfortable with the situation. But don’t get really jealous over him thinking another girl is pretty. He loves you and he’s with you, and if he didn’t want to be, he wouldn’t be. Think about the last time you thought another dude was hot. Did that mean you wanted to leave your BF for him? Probably not.

Who do you agree with? Do you care if your sweetie calls other people hot? Tell us in the comments.

 

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Posted in: Boards, Discuss, Health, Sex & Relationships, Hooking Up, Love Advice, Love&Sex, Relationships
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65 Comments

  1. avatar Elizabeth says:

    everyone who says your bf looks at other girls should just brake up with them. they should be only looking at you and I get that they look at other girls to do stuff but saying it right in front of us face

  2. avatar JB says:

    My BF or whatever he is, is addicted to women, by his own admission. He can’t help himself, he says. He looks at boobs and butts, and makes comments. There have been times when he can’t take his eyes off of other women and says it’s natural. I have never been with anyone like this before and don’t hold out much for the future.

  3. avatar Lucy says:

    My boyfriend does this and I HATE it!

    He is my first serious boyfriend and I have low self esteem. At the beginning of our relationship I took pride in sending him pics of hot girls and models for him to get off too. He would comment on how hot a girl was and say why can’t you be her and I would let him. When i showed how much it upset me he changed to she’s so hot! Oh your pretty too! As an after thought. He admits he gets off to picture of other girls and he still had naked picture of his ex which he kept for a year until I pointed out it was off. I always have to ask if I look pretty and the nicest thing he has said without me prompting him is that I’m ‘nice looking or ok looking’ and it hurts! He just doesn’t get that he makes me feel horrible about myself so no it’s not ok for guys to make comments!

  4. avatar sara mae says:

    I walk with my bf outside he always looks at other women. He said he wouldn’t have to look at other women if I dressed proactive more and made my boobs pop out of my shirt and buy better clothes. He has told me there is always going to be a prettier girl than you.. My self esteem is crushed but I tried talking to him about it and he thinks its ok as long as he doesn’t touch! Well its not ok to say those things and actually comment about another women when ur gf is beside u. He should take my feelings into consideration. He says oh I’m a guy if u ask other guys its ok.. Well I have and they all agree with me.. I have been told so many things about my appearance and other women’s its not even funny :(

  5. avatar sara mae says:

    My bf will be walking with me. And he will see someone good looking and actually comment right in front of me. He actually told me if I dressed more provocative and bought sexier clothing he wouldnt have to look at other women.. I have tried to talk to him about how much it hurts and is disrespectful. I always look at the ground because I can never measure up to be all this other girls… How bad is it when ur bf says there is always going to be a prettier girl than u :(

  6. avatar Belle says:

    Well. Its awkward because my boyfriend thinks my bestfriend is hot. Its awkward for me cause its hard for me to be around her now knowing that he thinks shes hot and will be checking her out all the time when im with her. I probably sound real over protective of him. Im not haha! He moved to my class at the start of the year to be with me, my bestfriend has always been in class with me but now that I found out that its going to be really awkward! Lastly he gets annoyed when I say that other guys are hot, he always says we have sorted this and I say well its not going to change that fact that you think my bestfriend is hot! I never checked out other guys all thoughout this relationship, while he has been checking out other chicks. Im only saying other guys are hot now cause hes been doing the same. I really dont know what to do, cause it doesnt make me feel that great that he thinks my bestfriend is hot:/

  7. avatar maryann says:

    I think it wrong when your boyfriend tell another lady she a hotties and doing it behind your back

  8. avatar Michelle says:

    Every time I’m with my boyfriend he’s ALWAYS checking out other girls right in front of me, and it’s for a long period of time. He just looks at their ass and then turns back and looks at me and I really don’t appreciate him doing that because it makes me feel more insecure about myself.. and then I tell him “I saw you checking out that girl rn” and he just says “oh” like WTF that shit pisses me off lol and I never look at any guys when I’m with him because I think that’s disrespectful, but I guess he thinks its not..

  9. avatar topaz says:

    I think if you have a boyfriend and he says another girl is hot is disrespectful point blank

  10. avatar Louise says:

    If it’s a problem for you and you feel uncomfortable with your guy saying other girls are hot, then he should respect your feelings and keep these thoughts to himself. It’s not asking much, and I’m sure you’d do the same for him. I was with a guy for a year who insisted on flirting and looking at other women, and when I confronted him gently about it, he used to turn the tables on me, saying I was insecure and that he would carry on doing it whether it upset me or not. He said I was trying to control him. I wasn’t. I used to watch porn with my exes and we used to talk openly about our celebrity crushes etc. However with my last boyfriend, the fact he was so callous and disrespectful about it only served to make me feel insignificant and even more insecure, and so I never got to the stage of security and openness which I managed to reach with my exes. So really, it was less his ogling at other women that bothered me, more his total, selfish disregard for my feelings.

  11. avatar Kait says:

    My boyfriend is 25 so he should b pretty mature by now, you’d think. He is constantly checking out other girls in front of me, and no not just a quick glance, like it’s as if he goes into this “duuuuuuh” type stupid mode and does it for a while then looks at me after and puts a smirk on and I just look at him like wtffff?-.- really??. And he has these models on his fb that r hot only because there photoshopped, I know two of them beleive it or not and I used to part with them, there trashy play boy bunny that paid there way into it, and he will show me and ask me shit , or show me the girls that he’s fucked, I feel as tho I have no way out, I live with him, and when I bring this stuff up to him he tells me to shut up and calls me stupid and a retard, it’s not so much that I’m jealous I’m just hurt honestly, I’m fuckkng sick of it.

  12. avatar April says:

    My boyfriend and I were watching the news he commented that one of the weather girls was “smokin hot” yes it stung a bit. In my 20′s I would have been really pissed off and would have been like F U! I kind of said in a joking way wth? I’m not a dude, so don’t talk to me like I’m one and we started wrestling in a playful way and laughed about it. Later that night we went out to eat and he said it’s only natural for you to see a guy and be like .. that’s a good looking guy! I responded, of course it’s only natural but I wouldn’t be like … he’s smokin hot! He agreed, I think he meant it lol. Couples will always notice someone else who is good looking .. I just say don’t look or stare beyond the point you are disrespecting me or making certain comments. I feel like my man is my man and I would always want to make him feel like I have eyes for no one else.

  13. avatar latoyia says:

    I think it’s unacceptable for my boyfriend to look at other woman while in my company.

    • avatar April says:

      Both you and your boyfriend will look at other people whether they are good looking or not its only natural. What makes a difference is whether you are crossing the line of being disrespectful.

      • avatar Shannon says:

        Actually, I am female and I never look at guys other than my boyfriend. He on the other hand, looks all the time..and the more I get upst and tell him it upsets me – the more he gets off on doing it. Then, is constantly insecure that I am wanting other guys. Looks like he’s either feeling guilty about what his hand does to him in the dark or he is really a complete jackass.

  14. avatar Kint Verbal says:

    Reading some of the female comments: you obviously have no idea how the male brain works. Chemically speaking, except that puppy love time, you are drawn to sex. You can fight it most by prevention (not going out etc.), then a bit of active avoidance (not looking), but that’s it. The moment it’s in your face, BAM. Eyes are the only direct neurological connection to the brain that is DIRECTLY exposed to the outside world.
    You.
    Cannot.
    Fight.
    It.
    You *could* shut up about it, though.

  15. avatar Kint Verbal says:

    guys today believe the whole “look but don’t touch” saying, which is pathetic

    Of course it is pathetic. You should touch as well. And of course it is of zero importance if he tells you she is hot or not. Same thought process happens.

    You cannot and will not be the only one, or what you have there is not a real man. Learn to do some “team play” with the other girls and you’ll see how things improve dramatically!

    • avatar Shannon says:

      You are saying ALL men cheat? You are basically saying women shouldn’t be stupid enough to be with any men.

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