Learning To Trust
I have severe trust issues. Honestly, I haven’t even been in many relationships, but I’ve just witnessed growing up how my father and mother were in their relationship (he cheated), so I caught on and so forth. I want love and affection from a guy that cares about me. But I don’t trust them. I believe that all guys will cheat on me. I mean, do you actually think that there are some guys out there who doesn’t cheat? At all? Because I don’t. I just want to cry when I think about a guy cheating on me. That’s why I never give them a chance. I just don’t want to waste my time. Are there any good guys out there?? Help please.
Yes, there are guys out there who you can trust. I know it doesn’t seem that way right now, and I understand where you’re coming from, but you can’t make generalizations of an entire gender based on the actions of a few guys. Trust issues really stink, no doubt about it. Being seriously betrayed someone can be extremely hard to get over, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t possible.
I’m sorry that your parents seem to have had a rocky relationship. Watching two people you love, especially your family members, go through a rough patch is really tough. I understand how it can make you feel like no one can be trusted. But the fact is, not every guy is like your dad – not every guy is going to cheat on their girlfriend or their wife. It’s easy to believe otherwise, thanks to high-profile celebrity scandals and going through real-life dramas like you did. But it’s really important for you to realize that not every guy is going to go behind your back and break your trust.
That being said, it’s true that a lot of relationships end in heartbreak, and the possibility of a guy cheating on you and betraying you will always be there. Probably the toughest thing about going into a relationship is being put in a vulnerable position. But the thing is, if you never try, you’ll never know. If you never attempt to give anyone a chance, you’re only going to hurt yourself right from the beginning.
Like I said, trust issues are hard to get over, so take things slow. When you find a guy you like, be honest and open about your feelings. You don’t need to (and you shouldn’t) go into a relationship trusting someone completely – people, especially boyfriends, should have to earn your trust. Listen, I can’t promise that no guy will ever betray you, but I can say that every single guy isn’t going to betray you. The best thing you can do is take thing slow and give it time. Don’t go into something convinced he’ll cheat, but do be a little wary and keep your guard halfway up until you feel comfortable. Just make sure you give a few lucky boys a chance with you!
What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at firstname.lastname@example.org
Learning To Trust