Confession: I’m A Cougar (Kind Of…)

Dating Younger Guys

Selena, I've totally got your back, girl. | Source:

When it comes to dating, a lot of girls have strict rules and standards for the guys they choose to call their boyfriends. One of the most common rules I’ve heard is that they refuse to date anyone younger than them. I am so not one of those girls. In fact, I could totally see myself being like Demi Moore in the future (minus the divorce and weird drug rumors).

I’ve only dated two guys who have each been three years younger than me, but from the way people react, you would think that I’m some crazy pedophile running around with a 13-year-old. Seriously, why does dating younger guys get such a bad rap most of the time? I’m here to tell you that it’s not so bad to (kind of) be a cougar.

When I was 21, I met a guy, E, who I thought was really cute, funny and sweet. Bonus? He was into me too. The only issue was that he was 18-years-old. I had never dated a younger guy before, but I’d always had a BFF who was a few years younger than me, so why should my dating life be any different? E and I started hanging out, and we kept things super casual for a few months, then ended things as friends.

Hm... seriously? | Source:

Well, maybe our age difference didn’t bother me, but I quickly learned that it bothered, um… pretty much everyone else I knew. When my friends first heard I was seeing someone, they would squeal happily – until they heard how old he was. Their mouths would drop open and they would look at me like I was insane. “He’s YOUNGER than you?” they would ask, shocked that I would even consider such a thing.

It wasn’t only my friends who reacted that way. Any random person I told seemed genuinely surprised that I was dating someone a few years my junior. They asked what it was like and even laughed in my face sometimes, saying things like, “Let me know how that works out for you.”

A while later, I met M. He seemed perfect for me, but just like E, he was three years younger. I was totally into M (we’re still dating now!), and of course his age didn’t change how I felt. But when everyone I knew found out I was dating another younger guy, they reacted the same way they had reacted when they found out about E: shocked, confused and a little condescending.

Another adorable celeb couple who make the age difference work | Source: Posh24

Here’s the truth: it’s not that big a deal. Yes, dating someone younger can be a little annoying at times. Before M was 21, we couldn’t go to any bars together. M isn’t as mature as I am yet, but let’s be real here: I’m not the most mature person myself. I guess the worst thing is that M and my lives aren’t on the same level right now. While my close friends are starting to get engaged and have serious careers, M’s close friends are just graduating college. But it works out, because M has a great job and I’m no where near ready to think about the future like that.

Before M, I dated someone a lot older than me, and I’m pretty sure he had half the maturity level M has. M and I get along so well, he makes me happy and I make him happy. Who cares if he was a freshmen when I was a senior? And, yeah, maybe he spends too much time playing video games and making penis jokes, but, um, last time I checked, every guy does that. The truth is, besides having to deal with what people have to say (and I could care less), dating a younger guy has been no different than dating someone my own age. I’m a cougar and proud, baby!

Have you ever dated anyone younger than you? Older than you? Let us know in the comments.


Confession: This waitress eats your food!

Posted in: Confessions, Discuss, Health, Sex & Relationships, Hooking Up, Love&Sex, Relationships
Tags: , ,
  • FamilyGirl

    1 of the girls I work with her being 29 & her mom is 44, her mom is dating a 24yr old & living life to the full, my friend said she finds it uncomfortable know her mom is have so much sex with a guy younger than she is. I told her to be happy about it be glad your mom’s happy & got some who cares about her age is just numbers.

  • Shanna

    I’ve only been in a relationship with one younger guy, but I’ve had sex with several younger guys.

    I’ve also had a couple relationships with guys who were a fair bit older than me but maturity wise were similar or younger.

  • Veronica

    Okay, I guess you’d say I’m a cougar.
    I’m dating a guy who is a year younger then me, I really like him. But, all my friends say I’m to old, and stuff for him.
    I don’t think I’m to old. Okay, maybe a lil’, or maybe a lot.
    What do you think??

    • Hannah

      Cougar doesn’t count unless your 5+, One year is seriously nothing..

  • Paulina

    I am in a relationship with a guy that’s 14 currently, while I am 16 currently. There’s 2 years, 2 months, 3 days between us. We love and care about each other SOO much and although his best friend (who is also my best friend) say we aren’t meant to be, my best friend says the age difference wont work out in the long run, we care about each other. We have had a rocky path already, but we see a future. And I hope we last long (although, at times I wonder what’ll happen when I turn 18). We talk about marriage and he’s very mature for his age. He’s the sweetest guy and I am so glad I met him. Yes, he may act stupid and such, but seriously, what guy doesn’t?

  • Tara

    I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years. He is almost 2.5 years younger than I am. I have definitely gotten a lot crap about “robbing the cradle”. My family doesn’t have an issue with the age “difference” but my boyfriend’s mother does. Oh well. we’re still going strong and she has a problem with everything. My ex was 2 years older than me, we dated for 3.5 years before I broke it off. But me and my current boyfriend get a long soo much better. Its funny how nice it is to date someone younger lol.

  • Climb

    I dated a 14 year-old when I was 17. He was a cool, mature guy and we’re still friends. I broke it off on my 18th birthday, though. It would have been too weird. plus illegal.

  • itgirl

    i can totally relate to what everyone here is saying im 16 and im going out ( kinda don’t ask long story) with a 13 year old guy we are 2 and a half years apart in age difference and it doesn’t bother me or him my friends have been supportive and his sister who happens to be a close friend of mine doesn’t care either although she don’t get what i see in him but hes soo sweet and we get along very well although some people don’t like the idea of me going out with a younger guy it doesn’t change how i feel about him at all hes my best friend and soo much more we’ve been together for almost nine months and ive known him for years im proof a slightly cougar relationship can work if you don’t let others rule your relationship.

  • IAmBeautiful

    I have a major crush on a guy 3 years older than me, and he said he likes me too. But here is the killer: he said, quote, “I’m not gonna date you ’cause you’re so young. I really really like you though.” Wtf is that?!

    • JasLake419

      That’s sooo stupid, age is a number. You should really talk to him and knock some sense into that boy!

  • Billfer

    When I was 13, I dated a 10 year old. We did tons of things. We made out, he groped me, clothing and no clothing. I gave him a hand job. We almost went all the way too, then I thought, he is ten!!! Where was I when I was 10? Playing with barbies, not boobs! So I glad my first wasn’t him!

    • Casey

      That’s sick. You should not have done that at that age at all!

    • Julia

      Thats kinda hot (;

    • koreanlover222

      Dude, that’s is beyond sick! ew…. :/
      He was 10! You should’ve have been dated him….i understand 12 and 15 year olds dating, but 10 and 13, the dating wasn’t sick, what u were doing is…thats sick! I bet u can do way better, hun!

      Good thing u didn’t go all the way!

  • M

    This article rocks! My boyfriend is 2 years younger than me and I get so much “cougar” crap because of it. It annoys me, but I try to shrug it off. Truth is, he’s the best guy I could ask for, and he’s super mature so we’re pretty much on the same level. The last guy I dated was 2 year OLDER and he was more IMMATURE than my current bf!

    • Tasha

      I agree with M. I have always dated Older guys and I thought it was cool and all until I dated a Younger guy. which i have to say RESPECTED ME A WHOLE LOT MORE than the older guys. the younger guy treated sooo great that i noticed the older guys was “more say taking advantage” of me. they tell me this and that and find out all they wanted was in my pants. WHICH I WASNT DOING UNTIL I WAS 18. every single older guy i dated was like that. then i dated a guy that was JUST 2 YEARS YOUNGER. and everyone freaks the hell out. I just dont get it Im happy hes happy (at the time) what makes a difference? And the next younger guy that im dating now is 20 and im 21 be 22 later this year, OMG he is the best thing that has happen to me in a very looooong time. I like him so much (maybe love) and he is the same way. He complements me everyday and every time he texts me its Hey Beautiful 🙂 and i could be have a shitty ass day and seeing that text makes me smile and forget all that has happened that day.

  • girlbubbly

    OMW same here u guys!!!! I am currently dating a guy who is about a year younger than me (technically 8 mo.) but he is so wonderful!!!! He is the love of mylife! he is sweet and funny and smart and cute (to me) plus he has big lips which is a bonus to me but we just had our first anniversary and we r shooting for 1000! 😀 <3 <3

  • Tay

    I dated a guy who was 2 years younger than me. My family was alright with it but I sure got a lot of cougar jokes. Not sure how his family reacted to it though cause I never met his family. It only lasted about a month though cause we never got to see each other.

  • starryphoenix

    I am 28 and I have a thing with a guy who is 20!! It isnt really an issue, the age. other things keep us from being together. but I’ve been sexual with him and its great. I dont really understand the attraction we have.

  • Amy

    Most of the boys I dated have been the same age as me, but I do like boys who are older than me. The other day in the hall I was walking and this really cute boy passed me and gave me this really flirty smile. On Monday I am going to talk to him. I do know it’s easy to talk to an older guy because when i was 11 I had a crush on a 16 year old. He was so cute! lol well bye.

    • Billfer

      Well older guys are usually more advanced at things, if you catch my drift ;P And fully grown.

  • Sasha

    I have dated younger guys before. I am right now. He’s about a year and four months younger than I am. Before I was with my current boyfriend, I’d an older boyfriend and I’d lost my virginity to him, but he sometimes treated me like a kid or when I wanted to get my hair in a mohawk, he’s said, “No you’re *my* girlfriend.” When I broke it off with my ex, I wasn’t sad–we were only together for almost two months, I think. Not long after breaking it off with my ex, I started dating my current boyfriend. And I got my hair in a mohawk for Halloween–and he didn’t care! 😀 I love that about my boyfriend. Yes, he can be immature and a total nerd, but so can I. Out of everyone I’ve dated–older, younger, the same age as me–no one has complimented my personality as much as him. He’s everything I could ask for. 😀 <3

  • docgirl

    my current boyfriend is three years younger than me and he seems way more mature than the last guy that I dated who was a year younger than I was and me and him get a long great he definitely more mature than most guys that I know and he knows what he wants for the most part and is a complete gentleman and isn’t a jerk like my last boyfriend was and we’ve been dating for almost a year and three months and we’ve never had a fight

    • Billfer

      How old are you?