Here’s the tricky thing about flirting: it can seem so innocent to one person and so not innocent to another person. It can be really hard to reach a balance between what’s okay and what’s totally inappropriate, especially when you’re in a relationship. Most of the time, I would say that a little flirting is harmless and natural, and not something that you should be too stressed about. But if it’s over-the-top, happening all the time and making you feel super uncomfortable? You need to speak up.
I don’t know your BF, so I don’t really know exactly why he’s acting like this. If he just has a naturally flirty personality, then he might not even realize what he’s doing could be hurting you. But if he’s flirting with these girls for some other reason, like to get attention from them or to make you jealous, then that’s definitely not cool. Either way, you have a right to be a little jealous. Most people would be in your position.
If this is totally bumming you out, and it sounds like it kind of is, just say something to him. At first, you can try doing it casually, maybe make a joke about it. If that doesn’t spark a conversation, then just tell him you don’t feel comfortable with him flirting with other girls. Explain that it makes you feel bad, and you’d appreciate if he had enough respect for you to not be that way with other girls, especially your BFFs (that’s just awkward!). Try to do this calmly without starting a fight. Like I said before, he might not even realize it’s bothering you. You can put it this way: ask him to think about how he wants you to act around other guys, and that’s the way he should be acting around other girls. Figure out what’s a good balance for you guys and work on it.
Keep in mind that a little flirting is normal for anyone – I’m sure you do it and sometimes don’t even realize it! If you know your BF really cares about you, then don’t stress over him calling another girl hot. Just make sure he doesn’t cross any lines and be honest with him. And if he refuses to stop? Maybe it’s time to move on.
What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at firstname.lastname@example.org