My BF Is A Huge Flirt. How Do I Deal?

Boyfriend Flirting

Is this your dude? | Source: Flickr

Dear Heather, I’m dating this guy who really likes me and I really like him. He says things that give me butterflies and he goes to my school. But he flirts a lot. He called my friend hot and amazing, and it makes me worry if he is going to cheat on me. Especially when it comes to Facebook. He flirts with every girl in the world and that makes me really jealous! Please help, what should I do?

Here’s the tricky thing about flirting: it can seem so innocent to one person and so not innocent to another person. It can be really hard to reach a balance between what’s okay and what’s totally inappropriate, especially when you’re in a relationship. Most of the time, I would say that a little flirting is harmless and natural, and not something that you should be too stressed about. But if it’s over-the-top, happening all the time and making you feel super uncomfortable? You need to speak up.

I don’t know your BF, so I don’t really know exactly why he’s acting like this. If he just has a naturally flirty personality, then he might not even realize what he’s doing could be hurting you. But if he’s flirting with these girls for some other reason, like to get attention from them or to make you jealous, then that’s definitely not cool. Either way, you have a right to be a little jealous. Most people would be in your position.

Ugh, FB flirting is the worst | Source: Bokt

If this is totally bumming you out, and it sounds like it kind of is, just say something to him. At first, you can try doing it casually, maybe make a joke about it. If that doesn’t spark a conversation, then just tell him you don’t feel comfortable with him flirting with other girls. Explain that it makes you feel bad, and you’d appreciate if he had enough respect for you to not be that way with other girls, especially your BFFs (that’s just awkward!). Try to do this calmly without starting a fight. Like I said before, he might not even realize it’s bothering you. You can put it this way: ask him to think about how he wants you to act around other guys, and that’s the way he should be acting around other girls. Figure out what’s a good balance for you guys and work on it.

Keep in mind that a little flirting is normal for anyone – I’m sure you do it and sometimes don’t even realize it! If you know your BF really cares about you, then don’t stress over him calling another girl hot. Just make sure he doesn’t cross any lines and be honest with him. And if he refuses to stop? Maybe it’s time to move on.


take care,

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Posted in: Help Me Heather, Love Advice, Love&Sex, Your Life
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  • ForeverAndAlways

    My bf tells me about the other girls he likes and I’ve told huim I don’t like it but he keeps doing it but he also talks about our future and how we are going to have a family together oneday……….idk if I should be scared and if I should breakup with him or try to work through it. He gets mad every time I say I don’t like it and ignores me for a while but he gets jealous when I talk about other guys. I really need advice on what to do

  • mysterious diva

    i have a boyfriend. he really sweet and loves me alot. the problem is he flirts with other girls alot . the stuff he says to me, he says that to everyone.. i dnt feel special at all. using heart emo and saying babe and gorgeous to other girl. especially this particular girl. that the sad part is he knows that girl has a crush on him he still talks to her , flirts with her and haven’t told her he is taken. what should i do to make him realise he is really upseting me. i have his fb password. so i read their convo,,he doesnt know that though

  • queenB

    My situation is a little messed up me and my bf stay with friends and sometimes they go out and we have to watch their kids for them. My boyfriend is 23 years old and he flirts with the 11 year old girl and it grosses me out of course the little girl finds it fun because he is older and she thinks older people are cool but my boyfriend should know better because he is the adult. I really am not ok with this and I am thinking about telling the little girls parents and leaving my boyfriend because he is a sick individual who flirts really hard with a young child?

    • jean

      that is just really messed up and i think you should confront her parents about it, because it could turn into something very uncomfortable and inappropreit

  • guad

    i have been sick for two days and i havent been in scool meanwhile my sister tells me that he has been flirting with my two bestfriends im going to school tommorw and what should i tell him

  • molly

    My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 5 months… we started dating in November… 3 days after valentines day he kissed his ex girlfriend… I went to break up with him and I couldn’t I I love him to much…. just a few weeks ago I thought we should take a break because all he does is flirt with other girls… I said hat I I thought and I started to cry and begged for him to take me back he took me back instantly. It makes me upset he flirts with other girls and I told.him but e reassured me he would never replace me.

    • Palki v sangma

      You begging him and forcing him to come back has made him tak3 You for guarantee. Now he will flirt more because he knows that You just can’t live without him.
      Break Up and tell him dat You wont return till he changes his habit.

  • Amanda

    The guy I like I’ve been talking to for a long time and he has even told me that he loves me but he doesn’t want to be in a relationship because he knows he’ll flirt with other girls. What should I do?

  • audrey

    i had a boyfriend in 2 grade we brock up cause people made fun but i want children now!!!!!!!!!!!! mother fuckers

    • audrey

      well get back to gether some where secret

    • Sweet bottom

      I’m a sexy girl for u just tell me how old u r and I’ll date u and have children with how ever many u many sexy back baby


    Awesome advice..

  • Bessie

    omg so true my boyfriend flirts with literally every single girl he sees i might go crazy soon

  • greyskies

    my boyfriend , juss flirts on fb :/
    he be liking girls status about ” ratings , && love shit ”
    && ive talked to hym about it && ihavent seen anything lately on his page . .
    bhu hopefully it remains that waay <3
    ilovehymm will all my heaaart && valentines day is tomarro , '
    so ihave no time to be getting upset , loll : )
    byeee , reply if needed !!

    • Caitty

      english please? damn…

  • Bridgette

    my boyfriend is the EXACT same..except with all the girls he flirts with its his EX’S!!!!! it drives me crazy & i dont know what to do because i don’t know any of these girls since they all go to his old school. Also there are a TON of rumors about him cheating on me & all my friends hate him…

    • greyskies

      hmm ,
      ibe thinking to myself .. how do girls deal wif their boyfrands ex’s crapp !
      ive never been thru dhaat , && dont plan to start . ‘
      i wish you the best , && you must really LOVE hymm : )
      thats ahh greatt thinnnng girrl !

    • Rachael

      Okay Bridgette from experince if there is rumors about him cheating on you then he really is. ESCPIALLY IF HES FLIRTING WITH HIS EXES that’s a major sign I would dump him if I were you becase he obivously doesn’t care about your feelings enough not to cheat on you with those hoes. Dump him and find someone who will actually love you for you not someone who will just cheat and fuck every girl he sees.

    • paige

      Omg I feel the same way u might of said that last year but um having the same exact problem he is only flirting with his EX girlfriends

  • fruitypebbles

    it depends on if you feel the same way or not.that’s all i’m gonna say

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