My BF Is A Huge Flirt. How Do I Deal?

Boyfriend Flirting

Is this your dude? | Source: Flickr


Dear Heather, I’m dating this guy who really likes me and I really like him. He says things that give me butterflies and he goes to my school. But he flirts a lot. He called my friend hot and amazing, and it makes me worry if he is going to cheat on me. Especially when it comes to Facebook. He flirts with every girl in the world and that makes me really jealous! Please help, what should I do?

Here’s the tricky thing about flirting: it can seem so innocent to one person and so not innocent to another person. It can be really hard to reach a balance between what’s okay and what’s totally inappropriate, especially when you’re in a relationship. Most of the time, I would say that a little flirting is harmless and natural, and not something that you should be too stressed about. But if it’s over-the-top, happening all the time and making you feel super uncomfortable? You need to speak up.

I don’t know your BF, so I don’t really know exactly why he’s acting like this. If he just has a naturally flirty personality, then he might not even realize what he’s doing could be hurting you. But if he’s flirting with these girls for some other reason, like to get attention from them or to make you jealous, then that’s definitely not cool. Either way, you have a right to be a little jealous. Most people would be in your position.

Ugh, FB flirting is the worst | Source: Bokt

If this is totally bumming you out, and it sounds like it kind of is, just say something to him. At first, you can try doing it casually, maybe make a joke about it. If that doesn’t spark a conversation, then just tell him you don’t feel comfortable with him flirting with other girls. Explain that it makes you feel bad, and you’d appreciate if he had enough respect for you to not be that way with other girls, especially your BFFs (that’s just awkward!). Try to do this calmly without starting a fight. Like I said before, he might not even realize it’s bothering you. You can put it this way: ask him to think about how he wants you to act around other guys, and that’s the way he should be acting around other girls. Figure out what’s a good balance for you guys and work on it.

Keep in mind that a little flirting is normal for anyone – I’m sure you do it and sometimes don’t even realize it! If you know your BF really cares about you, then don’t stress over him calling another girl hot. Just make sure he doesn’t cross any lines and be honest with him. And if he refuses to stop? Maybe it’s time to move on.

 

take care,
heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

 

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Posted in: Help Me Heather, Love Advice, Love&Sex, Your Life
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16 Comments

  1. avatarmolly says:

    My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 5 months… we started dating in November… 3 days after valentines day he kissed his ex girlfriend… I went to break up with him and I couldn’t I I love him to much…. just a few weeks ago I thought we should take a break because all he does is flirt with other girls… I said hat I I thought and I started to cry and begged for him to take me back he took me back instantly. It makes me upset he flirts with other girls and I told.him but e reassured me he would never replace me.

  2. avatarAmanda says:

    The guy I like I’ve been talking to for a long time and he has even told me that he loves me but he doesn’t want to be in a relationship because he knows he’ll flirt with other girls. What should I do?

  3. avataraudrey says:

    i had a boyfriend in 2 grade we brock up cause people made fun but i want children now!!!!!!!!!!!! mother fuckers

  4. avatartt_wyatt@yahoo.com says:

    Awesome advice..

  5. avatarBessie says:

    omg so true my boyfriend flirts with literally every single girl he sees i might go crazy soon

  6. avatargreyskies says:

    my boyfriend , juss flirts on fb :/
    he be liking girls status about ” ratings , && love shit ”
    && ive talked to hym about it && ihavent seen anything lately on his page . .
    bhu hopefully it remains that waay <3
    ilovehymm will all my heaaart && valentines day is tomarro , '
    so ihave no time to be getting upset , loll : )
    byeee , reply if needed !!

  7. avatarBridgette says:

    my boyfriend is the EXACT same..except with all the girls he flirts with its his EX’S!!!!! it drives me crazy & i dont know what to do because i don’t know any of these girls since they all go to his old school. Also there are a TON of rumors about him cheating on me & all my friends hate him…

    • avatargreyskies says:

      hmm ,
      ibe thinking to myself .. how do girls deal wif their boyfrands ex’s crapp !
      ive never been thru dhaat , && dont plan to start . ‘
      i wish you the best , && you must really LOVE hymm : )
      thats ahh greatt thinnnng girrl !

    • avatarRachael says:

      Okay Bridgette from experince if there is rumors about him cheating on you then he really is. ESCPIALLY IF HES FLIRTING WITH HIS EXES that’s a major sign I would dump him if I were you becase he obivously doesn’t care about your feelings enough not to cheat on you with those hoes. Dump him and find someone who will actually love you for you not someone who will just cheat and fuck every girl he sees.

  8. avatarfruitypebbles says:

    it depends on if you feel the same way or not.that’s all i’m gonna say

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