friends don’t let friends
There’s a reason people go crazy if they’re left in solitary confinement too long. After too much alone time, things that once (correctly) seemed totally inapprops, suddenly seem completely OK. But real friends know that there are certain things that are ALWAYS off limits when it’s just you, yourself, and I…
1. Friends Don’t Let Friends Text Alone After A Breakup
At 3pm getting fro-yo with the girls, texting your ex is obviously OUT OF THE QUESTION. Why would you do that? But at 12:30 am on a Friday night when everyone else is busy or MIA? Sure! Why not! What can it hurt, just one eensy weensy SMS? Trust me, when your friend says she’s holding your phone captive, she’s doing you a huge favor.
2. Friends Don’t Let Friends Make Cookies Alone
“PUT THE SPATULA DOWN, SHALLON!” My BFF has literally hollered this into the phone after I oh-so-casually mentioned that I was whipping up a batch of treats, solo, one snowy Saturday night. Like any relapsing addict, I told her I was fine and that I could handle eating just one cookie. The food baby I woke up with proved otherwise. Fail.
3. Friends Don’t Let Friends Deal With Zits Alone
My mom always warned me to avoid doing two things when I was lonely or tired: analyzing my life and/or my pores. One quick dig at a blackhead can quickly turn into 15 minutes spent squeezing and scratching at your face until you look like you belong on Faces of Meth. Just do a face mask with friends instead. They smell good, and you can watch Reality TV at the same time. Win!
4. Friends Don’t Let Friends Try On Bikinis Alone
Once in the dead, pasty white of winter, I walked in on my roommate trying on bikinis from her super-thin stage…under fluorescent lights…wearing SOCKS. I have no idea why she was trying to torture herself but we all made sure that she was never left alone in the house with old swimwear again!
5. Friends Don’t Let Friends Create Online Dating Profiles Alone
I learned this the hard way after I tragically included phrases like “I love dogs so much I’d date them if I could” and “I met Vanilla Ice once and he smells great.” From then on, online dating became a group effort.
6. Friends Don’t Let Friends Prep For A First Date Alone
The difference between “guy pretty” and “girl pretty” (i.e., kissable, glossy lips versus a supposedly-chic matte red pucker) gets very blurry in the chaotic 30 minutes leading up to a first date with Mr. Perfect. Always have your girls around to keep you out of that hipster romper and flats!
7. Friends Don’t Let Friends Watch The Bachelor Alone
Sitting through two hours of women weeping and throwing themselves at a guy who desperately needs a chin implant really isn’t fun as much fun without pals to LOL with. You can only make witty comments to your Dachshund for so long before it stops humoring you and wanders away.
What would you never do without your friends? Tell me in the comments!
Next, Check out 10 Easy Ways To Show Your Love!
friends don’t let friends