I really like this one guy, but he’s black and my family, especially my dad, is racist. They don’t think that black and white should mix. But I have feelings for this dude! What should I do? I don’t want to hurt my family, but at the same time I want to be happy with the person I like.
Ugh. I’m sorry you’re in this situation! Feeling like you have to choose between the guy you like and your family is bad enough as it is, but throw in something like an issue on interracial dating, and everything becomes that much more difficult. I’m so glad that you’re able to see past the color of someone’s skin and like them for who they are as a person. I wish I could tell you that it’s totally possible to change how your family feels, but unfortunately, it’s not going to be that easy.
How much do you really like this guy? Is he worth potentially having an argument with your family over? If so, then it’s time for you to sit down and have a little chat with your parents. I’m not saying that you have to get their approval before you start dating this guy, but in order to at least attempt to keep the peace, you should discuss this with them first. Just be straight up with them and tell them that you really have strong feelings for someone of a different race. Let them know that this guy makes you happy and that you don’t share the same views as them. Try to be as calm and mature as possible here, even if they freak.
The main thing here is that you really have to follow your heart. If being with this guy is what will make you happy, then you need to be with him even though your family doesn’t approve. You can’t make your decisions based on how other people feel, even when those other people are your parents. Just because your family might not agree with interracial dating doesn’t mean you have to feel the same way.
Listen, I’m not saying you should go out there and start World War 3 with your family. It would be really great if you managed to get their approval and have them accept your relationship. I’m saying that it’s important for you to like who you like regardless of how your family feels about it.
If you start dating this guy, take things really slow. Let your family get used to what you’re doing. And if they flip and do something really extreme? It’s up to you to make that choice between the guy you like and your family.
What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at firstname.lastname@example.org