Confession: I Say I’m Vegan, But I Totally Cheat

not vegan

This is what I say, but not always what I eat! Source:

When people hear the word “cheater,” they might think of gross celebrities who’ve cheated in relationships, or kids who’ll never actually know how to spell since they’ve cheated on every test ever. Those kinds of cheaters are pretty bad.

I’m a cheater, too–just of a different kind. I am a vegan, but that is just 95 percent of the real story. The other five percent is kind of a lie. I’ve been vegan for years, which means I don’t eat or use any animal products at all–no meat (obviously!), no poultry or fish, no milk products, no eggs, honey, leather, fur–you get the idea. Some of my good friends are vegan, too, which makes it easy. We cook together, we sip soy milk together, it’s like a big happy scene.

Thing is, without my vegan posse, things get a little more complicated and I . . . cheat.

It was like I was forced to eat it. Source:

This year, at my best friend’s birthday party, she had this ginormous Mrs. Field’s Cookie Cake–totally NOT VEGAN! But how could I refuse my best friend’s birthday cake? Isn’t that like, bad luck or something? So I ate a respectable sized slice of the cake, though I did wipe off that gross blue frosting which gives me a little credibility, right?! I know, I’m letting down my vegan sisters and brothers, but what else could I do? I didn’t want to be the no-fun militant vegan at my friend’s party!

And if you think I only cheated that once, you’re wrong. Like most cheaters, my cheating wasn’t a one-time deal. I often find myself at the local coffee shop, meeting friends to chat, or just catching up on emails. How can I be expected to resist those delicious-looking, fresh-baked scones? Especially when I’ve been running around all day and my tummy is grumbling so loud. I call it my ‘don’t ask, don’t tell policy’ wherein I really hope the barista won’t ask if I’m vegan, and I definitely won’t tell her that I am!

So yes, I’m a cheater and I don’t make excuses or feel guilty, either. I say I do it for others, you know, to be courteous, but really, sometimes I just really want that croissant!

Are you vegetarian or vegan? What do you think about girls who say they’re veggie but then “cheat”? Tell us in the comments!

Want an even more scandalous confession? You won’t believe what this girl did!

Posted in: Being Yourself, Beliefs, Confessions, Spotlight On, Uncategorized, Your Life
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  • Nick Borkowski

    First of all, I want to say that I’m glad you’re vegan, but I have to say, you’re second point about the scones is a little concerning. Here’s the thing. When you have a craving for animal products, think of it like craving the flavors of Animal products rather than the actual product. When you want a scone, you’re craving those delicious flavors, (which can often be made objectively tastier when vegan) But I assume you’re not craving eggs (aka chicken periods), or anything else. When I think of it that way I have no desire to “cheat”. I do however understand the first scenario. It can be difficult to cross that bridge in social situations, especially with “smaller” things like egg in a cake. Take care.

  • Emily

    I’ve been a vegetarian for over 9 years and have never cheated. However, lately I’ve been craving buffalo chicken like crazy. Meat substitutes have always solved the occasional mild cravings I’ve had before, but they have done nothing to help this particular craving and I’ve tried multiple kinds of veggie hot wings. It’s been nonstop for months now (almost a year) and I’m seriously considering cheating because I can’t keep feeling this way forever.

    Maybe I’ll set myself up a once every 5 years cheat day or something, just to help with these issues (of course I’d most likely skip it most years unless another major craving hit). I feel pretty okay about cheating, because if it helps you maintain the diet longer overall, why not? You’re still doing much far good than harm for animals. But I’ve never wanted to cheat in the past, so it feels weird to consider it, and EVERYONE knows I’m a vegetarian this many years into it, so I’d feel like a spectacle or something if I ordered some buffalo chicken. My parents would probably go on and on about it like “haha, we knew she couldn’t stick with it!” even though it’s just one meal and not going back to being an omnivore. They have always known that there are two meat meals I’ve always wanted to try and will try if I ever get the chance (both served a very long way away from where I live, so I probably never will), but this is a lot different from that.

    I could really use some advice from people who get this and aren’t just going to snap at me one way or the other.

  • Ayla

    Everyone should make their own choices in life, which I really respect. Being a vegan most of the time is soo much better than being a carnivore or even a vegetarian. But I wouldn’t consider you’re real passionate about veganism though, I mean I would probably throw up If I accidentally ate butter, cheese or something like that because of the nasty and cruelty stuff in it. Not being rude, but maybe you should watch a vegan documentary or something like that to get motivated and passionate about the whole thing!

  • Chloe Coleman

    God you people are insufferable. She doesn’t eat any animal products 95% of the time but because every once in a while she eats a scone, she can’t be apart of your exclusive little “vegan” club? Seriously? No she can’t just say “I try to keep a mostly vegan diet” because then EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD thinks that they should be the exception. Aunt Shay’s meatloaf, “BUT ITS GRANDMA’S RECIPEEEE!!!”. People just don’t take you as seriously. Everyone who has any kind of alternative diet knows that people already try to get you to stray from it, once they know you do it willingly everytime you turn them down they take it personally. I don’t understand how someone can eat only fruits, vegetables, and grains for every meal every day of the god damn year, but the moment they have cream cheese on their bagel, suddenly they aren’t vegan anymore? Get over yourselves, seriously… I don’t think animals know the difference between the 100% of the time vegan and the 97.3% of the time vegan.

  • Amy

    You are not vegan if you intentionally cheat. You are a hypocrite. Just eat whatever you want and stop advertising yourself with the “vegan” label.

    • KC

      I agree!!!! Good god. “I’m a vegetarian but I cheat all the time????” Then you AREN’T a vegetarian dude! My gods.

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  • Olive

    Honestly, I do exactly the same thing. I will never eat meat, but every once in awhile not asking if something has dairy in it is something I’m fine with. Feeling guilty about a personal choice is silly and seems like stress that doesn’t need to occur, unhealthy. Everyone is different, militant veganism is not everyone’s answer.

  • Olivia

    Turning down food is never as rude as not being a good host and feeding your guests properly. Say if you were allergic to dairy and eggs or gluten or something, you couldn’t exactly “cheat” on an allergy and get away with it. I think it would be a pretty rude move on the host’s part to invite someone with special dietary needs and then let them go hungry for the night. In these situations (as a guest) I bring a little snack in my purse just in case. There’s no need to compromise your morals in order to give the front of politeness. Just be courteous but convicted.

  • Destinyoct5

    ima vegetarian and honest to say i have cheated before and i prob will cheat agin and also honest to say im not proud of it but im not the kind the shoves their face in meat whenever no one si around and is completely emotionless… i eat chicken prob once a month and no more and i dont do it willing, i try to stop myself as much as i can but hey im only human!