Hilarious Facebook Posts We’d Write (If We Were Honest!)

Somewhere along the line, Facebook went from being a place where you can share details of your life, to a place where you can share imaginary details from the life you really want people to think you have. We all do it, so today let’s take a good, hard, look at what you’re really saying when you update your status


funny facebook postsShe said: Happy Birthday!











She meant: I neither knew nor cared that it was your birthday before Facebook reminded me. If this looks like the least I can do…you’re right.











New Friend Requests:

She said: Shallon Lester is now friends with @SarahKloepfer











She meant: I could punch this girl in the face I hate her so much but since I’ve lost 10 pounds, I’m going to let her see my photos.












She said: Waffles asleep this morning. I wuv my wittle guy!











She meant: Waking up to a dog is WAY better than waking up to a boyfriend right? RIGHT?! I’m so alone.












She said: Ready for the beach!











She meant: I am desperate for attention and addicted to Facebook likes.












She said: You guys, please read this article from HuffPo about hydrofracking. Really good insights and non-partisan opinions.










She meant: I have an ironic haircut and my profile picture is of graffiti on a burned out warehouse in Brooklyn. Now, please thank me for enlightening you about the world.












She said: Shallon Lester is no longer listed as in a relationship











She meant: Hey everyone, please ask me what went wrong so I can talk a ton of trash on my ex. Who I’m going to defriend as soon as he tries to respond. But then make my friends spy on him from their account.











After the Romance:

She said: Um INSANE night @KelsyMcLynn! Pretty sure we should take those guys up on their sailing offer 🙂










She meant: No part of this is real, but God I hope my ex sees this and thinks I’m doing something cool instead of hanging with Detectives Benson & Stabler alone on the couch.











Way, Way After the Romance on Your Ex’s Wall:

She said: Hey Jakey how ya been stranger 😉 Going to Sarah’s party? You should totes come 😉











She meant: We hooked up and now you’re ignoring my texts so I’m taking my creepiness to the Internet.

What’s the biggest fib you’ve ever told on Facebook? Come clean in the comments!

Now, check out the things you should never say at the gym!

Posted in: Being Yourself, Confessions, For Laughs, Quizzes & Fun, Spotlight On, Uncategorized, Your Life
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