Ask A Guy: How Do I Ask My BF To Get Tested?

As for how to ask him to get tested, refer to the national motto of The United States of Relationship: “Communication and Honesty Above All.” Explain how much you love him and that while you’re sure he’s fine, you’d like both of you to be certain. If he’s as experienced (and therefore, mature) as you say he is, he should have no problem understanding. Any guy who refuses to get tested for the first time after sleeping with multiple partners either has something to hide, or simply isn’t respecting your very warranted apprehension. But the fact that he’s been so supportive and pressure-free in the past leads me to suspect he’ll totally be receptive.

Keep in mind that some STDs are transmitted in other ways than traditional sex, so you can offer to get tested, too, in order to take some of the pressure off of your boyfriend. Your first time, you already have enough to think about (e.g. what music to play; how to “sexile” your roommate; where to put your arms) without needing to deal with the fear of STDs. If you get tested together, you can then both enjoy sex without any fears or worry – and first time or fortieth, that’s the best sex to have.

Good luck!

Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Ethan, email him at!


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  • Alyssa Mompoint (@AlyssaMompoint)

    Its so worth it getting tested. Right before you get into a relationship is definitely the crucial period where you want to trust your partner and you assume hey, they don’t have anything. truth is, they may not know they have anything to begin with. It just so important to always ask and it never hurts..

  • Vena

    Safe sex is the one you wait for on your wedding day. That’s the way of GOD.

    • Roger

      Not in the 21st century.

  • A guy

    Just tell him, “I want sex get tested.” he will.

    • Ethan Fixell

      Ha, fair enough. I guess in general, guys will make plenty of concessions for sex…

      Thanks for writing,


  • James

    And there I was thinking I was the only person who likes my partner to flail wildly during sex! At least I know I’m not alone any more! 😀

    • Ethan Fixell

      Glad I could lend some reassurance, James.


  • Sequoia

    Thanks for the advice Ethan 🙂 I still haven’t asked him yet but I will definitely be asking him to before we take that step. And I love the suggestion to get tested with him I think that would make it a lot more comfortable for the both of us. Oh and btw thanks for putting in my head the part about where to place your arms haha I never thought about that before lol…you’re right, another thing for me to worry about lol just playing. But thanks again! 🙂

    • Ethan Fixell

      Ha, the arms thing was only a joke! (But I advise you to flail them wildly in the air during sex, like you’re trying to hail a taxi).

      Glad the rest of my advice was helpful, though. Thanks for reading!


      • Sequoia

        Haha will do

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