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Should you go anywhere near his phone?
Snooping On Boyfriend
Have you ever been left alone in a room with your sweetie’s phone just sitting there, begging for you to go through it? Yeah, pretty sure we all know how tempting that can be. There comes a point in every relationship when we get the urge to read their text messages and check out who they’ve been in contact with, whether you’re having trust issues or not.
But is giving in and snooping through their phone (or any of their stuff) the best idea for your relationship? The editors of Gurl have agreed to disagree, and we want to know how you feel about it: is snooping a recipe for disaster, or is it just part of being in a relationship? Read what we think, and then let us know your opinion:
No more sneaking around!
Julie Says: You’re Only Going To Hurt Yourself
Back away from the phone, girl. You’re only going to find stuff that will hurt your relationship. Your sweetie’s allowed to have thoughts he doesn’t share with you. And, get real, you’ve totally thought and probably texted a few things about your dude you’d never say to him. (Can’t think of anything? Maybe this will jog your memory: BACK HAIR!) Sure, for relationships to work, there needs to be honesty, but that doesn’t mean you should know every single thing he’s ever thought or written about you. Give your relationship a chance and don’t snoop.
If you feel like you have to...
Jessica Says: Sometimes It’s Necessary
I know that snooping is wrong, and going through someone’s phone is generally a bad idea. But in some situations, it kind of needs to be done. If you honestly feel like your sweetie is cheating or going behind your back (I’m not talking about just a hunch), then maybe you should go through his stuff to see what’s going on. If you’ve caught him lying before, then how else will you find out the truth? I would hate to encourage anyone to snoop, but if it comes down to it and you feel like you need to, then I say go for it. Just don’t make a habit out of it!
This is what you really need instead.
Melanie Says: It Just Spells ‘Trust Issues’
The whole snooping thing bothers me so much. Good relationships are built on two little (or actually huge!) things called trust and communication. If you’re feeling uneasy or unsure of something for some reason, talk to your honey and try to find out what’s going on. I know, I know, you’re like, “but what if he’s cheating on me?” Well, hon, that’ll come out one way or another–there’s no need to stoop to his same creepster level by going behind his back and snooping. End of story.
Who do you agree with? Have you, or would you, ever snoop through a sweetie’s phone? Tell us in the comments.
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Snooping On Boyfriend
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I just recently snooped through my boyfriends texts. I’ve been wondering if he’s over his ex wife, she just left him in October 11. He’s told me he loves me, and wants to build a future with us and our kids, which until today I believed. I read a text sent September 6, 2012 to his ex sister in law asking her to talk to his ex because he feels she’s quit on him and their kids and she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him and he still loves her. Needless to say while I was in the bathroom at his house today reading this I was bawling my eye about reading this. He reassured me last week when I asked him if he was over her and he swore yes, but that he could never forgive him for giving up so easily and giving up on their family. I don’t know what to do, I dont know if confront him about the text because that’ll create trust issues with me admitting I snooped through his texts or do I just let it go, believe me when he told me last week he’s over her and move forward with our relationship which to up until this point has been amazing. I’ve always been told to be prepared for what you find if your snooping, I just don’t know what to do, because I am honestly totally in love with him.
I Honestly Think You Can And You Can’t , I Mean He Shouldn’t Have Nothing To Hide If Your The Only One .. You Should When You Feel Like He Has Something To Hide … But Hey That’s My Opinion
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I snooped into my boyfriends Facebook account, his obsession with constantly checking it became very suspicious to me, his behavior in general was also sending me mixed signals. I openly explained to him my concerns, he kept telling me he would never cheat on me, that he loved me blah, blah, blah. One night , I took the courage (yes, I was afraid of what I might find) to get into his account and I found hundreds of inapproprite emails to an old high school girlfriend who he reconnected with thanks to our beloved Facebook. Mind you she was married with kids, engaging this inappropriate behavior with him complete with exchanging naked pics to each other. Oh, he was doing this while I was pregnant with our daughter. Worse, she wasn’t the only one who he was flirting with. It broke my heart. Although suspicious, I would have never thought he would do such thing because he was so convincing when he told me he loved me, and that I was being jealous. Well, when talking and communicating didn’t work because of his constant lies, I did what I had to do to find the truth. I don’t regret it.
Honestly, i dont think its right i have before. Looked at my boyfriends facebook, and found stuff and he was saying he was just leading them on, but that shouldnt matter if he has me, during that time we were going through ruff times so i did understand , but if you trust him then no you shouldnt do that, but at that time i checked it once i didnt trust him one bit !
I agree with melanie because my bf did that to me 3 times… you would think it would of been the other way around but thats not the kind of person I am… he says he completely trusts me but i really dont believe him… we have been through a lot since april 15, 2010…
i do but i will say this dont go looking for soething you cant handle meaning you dont want to see thatyou guy or gurl is cheating so if you cant handle that dont go snooping it wont work out so good for you
If you feel the need to snoop through his phone then you have a HUGE red flag in front of you. What is a relationship without trust? How about a disaster!
If you don’t trust him, your intuition is probably trying to tell you that you shouldn’t be with him.
A couple of things that lead to me breaking up with my boyfriend about a week ago were texting related. Back in our senior year of high school, he flirted with one of my worst enemies through text claiming that it was “funny” that i was getting so angry. He would literally show me the texts and when I would say “don’t send it!” he would of course send it. And my worst enemy though that he liked her while I had to tell everyone that he didn’t (and he might have). Last semester, I went through his phone out of curiosity to see if he would flirt with another girl, and he was. When I confronted him on it, of course he called me psycho, then told me that he was just doing it to boost her confidence so she would ask out his friend who liked her. That lead me to go on his facebook about a week ago to look through his messages, and he again was talking to her, more conversationally than he had ever talked to me, and called me just a friend. So I did feel bad about checking his phone, and I didn’t want to feel like I had to, but there was definitely a lack of trust.
Wow. I’d beat his ass. Lol. But I’ve been through things like that too. Guys like this aren’t worth our time. I’ve learned the hard way that if you feel the need to snoop, it means you don’t trust them. And I trust easily, so if I don’t trust someone, then something is wrong. I should have broken up with him way before I actually did.
I have gone through my boyfriends phone in front of him and without him in the room, it’s just curiosity. I know he wouldn’t cheat on me, it honest to god just me being curious. He’s gone through my phone in front of me, neither of us have anything to hide, so it’s not an issue. He’s probably looked through it without me around, but I don’t care. The worst thing I do is occasionally talk to my ex, but it’s small talk.
agree with melanie. if you feel like something is wrong you should tell HIM Lizzy
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i agree with jessica she has a point. It really is needed to snoop
1. if you have to SNOOP to get in his phone .. that is already a red flag.
2. if you feel the need that your bf/gf is hiding something and the answers are in the phone ….thats another red flag.
3. Invasion of privacy. You dont want anyone snooping in your stuff right?
4. No trust whatsoever.
If you’re going through ANYONE’S phone without their permission, that’s eff’d up. I don’t care if they are cheating or saying horrible things behind you’re back. You wouldn’t like it if he went through your diary or journal would you? no.
I agree with Melanie. Def Trust issues if you are going to go through his phone. Communication is def key.
i agree with melanie. if you feel like something is wrong you should tell HIM