From The Boards: Are You Born With Your Sexuality?

Are People Born Gay

Lady Gaga says you were "born this way"

Doesn’t the topic of sexuality always seem to bring up some sort of debate? Everyone has different opinions and theories, and one thing that it feels like no one can agree on is how a person can either be homosexual, heterosexual or bisexual. Some people say you’re born with your sexuality, and others say it’s something you have control over.

So where do you stand? We were reminded of this issue from this post in the message boards, and we’re curious to see what you girls think. Is sexuality something you decide or is it more of a genetics thing?

hero_of_the_day asked:
Are you born with your sexuality?

hem replied and said:
I think human sexuality is pretty complex and still pretty mysterious. I would imagine its probably a combination of nature and nurture. You’re probably born with certain tendencies and then those can be brought out or repressed depending on your environment and upbringing.

gorjustladyp replied and said:
 I believe it’s a choice… How do u realize when your small unless you are in that environment?

When it comes down to it...

ElizabethIrene replied and said:
Yes. Its not a choice to be gay, straight, bi or whatever. People cannot help who they are attracted to. They just are. Nature Vs. Nurture doesn’t really play as big a part in it as many believe it does.

While this question would be best answered with a fact, unfortunately there are no studies that prove that a person is always born with their sexuality. There are some theories by researchers and doctors that show that it’s definitely possible, but no solid evidence so far.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and I personally happen to believe that you are born with your sexuality. How else do you explain homosexual children who grow up in entirely heterosexual families? I don’t feel like sexuality is a choice you can make, and I don’t feel like being gay is something you can stop at a certain point in your life.

Who do you agree with? What are your thoughts on this? Tell us in the comments.


Do you think girls really attached to the guys they sleep with?


Posted in: Discuss, Discuss, Health, Sex & Relationships, Love&Sex, Sex
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  • mike

    i dont know if im gay and i really want to find out anybody has tips?

  • karate@heart

    I think that with the exception of the few people who are sexually abused and become afraid f that gender, people are born with their sexuality. My thinking is why would someone choose to live a life of judgmental people trying to “preach the gay away” or whatever. I have a few gay friends and they are amazing people and I don’t think any different of them because of their sexuality.

  • Liz G.

    I know I wasn’t born with feelings for girls. I had an adopted cousin who touched me when I was pretty young. Doni consider that not having a choice? No. But I didn’t wake up one day and decide I liked girls.

  • liz

    i am 20 going on 21. in my perspective you are born being “different” . i consider myself bisexual. ive always thought girls are “cute, sexy” ever since i was been in elementary. when i got to middle school i started realizing i liked girls would catch myself looking at girls butts haha.. thought it was normal i mean didnt go beyond to high school and the this girl who made my jaw drop.. so i think we all know who we are but choose to say so at different ages, moments, or maybe even never. yes im also i guesss attracted to guys even though ive only had sexual intercorse with one guy and to be honest wasnt great. what im trying to say we all take time tofind ourselfs.. im honestly in the prosses of knowing if im really bisexual ir actually lesbian. im way more into girls been with my girl since im 15 best feeling ever but cant admit my eyes wonder when i see a handsome man. but as of right now i am proud of being attracted to girls

  • Denisse

    I think ur born w/ it I mean u can’t just wake up one day nd say “I’m a lesbian/bi/gay! I mean sure u don’t know it when ur a lil kid. I think its something that comes out as u get older nd mature.

  • kendra joy bethune

    every one has sexuality it’s up to u when you want to discover it your sexuality i showed mine at age 24 and 26 along with the news questions they asked about sex in a red sketch book i used as a diary that was my thing when i discovered it and sensuality later i am a senusal person like micheal hutencence i had a good role model my mother sandra bethune i think it’s up to the person

  • *Misguidedghost*

    I am bisexual. I am proud of it. It wasn’t exactly a choice however I could choose who i want to be with. I have been attracted to women my whole life. I think they’re beautiful. However, I’m with a boy right now. But before him I wasn’t comfortable with any man in a sexual manner. So no it me being attracted to girls was not a choice, but if I choose to be with a boy or a girl is my choice. That’s the beauty of being bisexual. You can choose who you’re with.

  • MrsMinniee

    If you like the same sex .. then thats your preference. I wasn’t created to like the same sex. So yes you can control it. I think of it this way – opposites attract! Ahaha’ (:

  • Anonymous

    I think that it’s a choose but not a conscious one. People are not necessarily born gay but also not necessarily born straight, we’re just born and then make a sub conscious decision or chose, that’s my thought.

  • xemolover21x

    i never really thought about it…tell i started getting older…and like the first time i kissed a boy it didn’t seem right…and felt wrong…it was so odd….and gross..idk if it’s cause he was a bad kisser or if it was just kissing a boy…cause i went out with this guy and ever time he would get close to i felt so wrong to me and gross again and when he huged me thats all the farther we got before we ended it…and nothing….and with the guy i am with now…nothing like that has happened just when he trys to open mouth kiss me it’s gross….and i keep them short…but i don’t feel gross but i don’t really like psyical contact with him…is something wrong with me? what does this make me…cause on the whole gay bi stright thing cause i am not sure…when all this happened i started to ? myself and i have came to i just don’t care love is love.

  • Sophia

    I’m a lesbian. I didn’t make the conscious decision to wake up one day and like girls. I’ve always been attracted to girls, and I suppressed it for a long time. I thought it was a “phase” and I wanted to be normal. But then one day I fell deeply in love with my best friend and I began to accept that this is who I am.
    I could spend a lot of time agonizing over whether I was “born this way,” but really what good does that do? I kind of hate that the the whole “choice” thing is such an issue. Why do we have to defend ourselves? It’s like saying, “I know it’s really bad to be homosexual, but it’s not my fault; I didn’t choose this.” I get that the choice thing is used to defend gay people, and I appreciate that, but I wish I didn’t have to defend my homosexuality. It’s not a bad thing. Really.

  • marlys

    Now I really don’t know that much on the subject because it isn’t anything I’ve ever talked about with my friends who are gay, but i think you aren’t necessarily born with it but that doesn’t mean it’s a choice either. for some people it might be but i feel like its a combination of environmental factors like Kate’s comment and physiological factors that are engrained in peoples subconscious.

  • Sabrina

    i think most people are born with it. i mean, i suppose you can choose, but you have to have that attraction to the same sex, and you don’t really choose who you are attracted to. and terrifying events could change your state of mind, like Kate said. i’ve definitely heard of that happening more than once.

  • Kate

    my friend told me that she wasn’t born liking girls but because her stepfather raped her when she was little she grew scared of men, she said it was a choice, and the best one she ever made. As for myself, this is all very confusing