Weekends are like your wardrobe–everyone has one but everyone does it differently. Me, I like to
watch re-runs of Law & Order and Google my ex take yoga with my friends and go dancing! But, just like any of us girls, my mind can change pretty quickly. What I say about my weekend plans and what I mean aren’t always the same thing…
Armed with these 7 funny little lies, your weekend can’t be anything but perfect!
She said: A party? Hmm, who all is going to be there?
She meant: Is my crush going? That is literally the only person I care about seeing. If you tell me he’s going and he doesn’t show, I’ll pull your hair out.
Workout with Pals
She said: I’m actually going to pilates this afternoon, but thanks anyway!
She meant: Oh you didn’t get the memo that “pilates” means Nordstrom’s Rack and Cinnabon? Well it does.
Girls Night In
She said: OMG you guys should totally come over! We can be super healthy and bake gluten-free cookies and make homemade mud masks!
She meant: I think there’s some Cinnabon left over and I have Rubino’s Pizza on speed dial. Cooking would take valuable time away from obsessively Googling Daniel Payne from “Caged.”
Favors for the Parents
She said: Of COURSE I’ll take my little sister to get new soccer cleats. No prob, Dad.
She meant: For every errand you have me run, the price of my prom dress goes up $50. Get excited.
Girls Night Out
She said: Mom, come on. We’re only going to Melanie’s to watch Kourtney & Kim Take New York, there’s no party happening.
She meant: At Melanie’s. It’s technically across the street at Zack’s. But we are going to Mel’s to get ready, and KKTNY will probably be playing in the background.
A Date with Your Crush
She said: Hmm, I’m busy on Friday but does Saturday night work?
She meant: HELLO! I clearly need one solid evening to obsess over an outfit with my friends/do a make-up test run/thoroughly Facebook stalk. Invading Afghanistan required less preparation, JEEZ!
She said: No Dad I seriously don’t have any homework. I wouldn’t be going out if I did.
She meant: I’ll “suddenly” remember an oh-so-important on Sunday night, right about the time Mom asks me to help do the dishes.
What are you doing this weekend? Dare we ask if you’re telling the truth? Tell us everything in comments!
Now read the 7 little lies we tell ourselves about being healthy!