Change Your Look
Dear Ethan: Do guys care if you make a drastic change to the way you look, like if you get a haircut or totally change your style? Would that turn them off? Or do they even notice at all?
While we may never notice a new handbag or bang trim, guys can detect “drastic.” If you’ve been dating for some time, or a guy is already super into you, a new look shouldn’t make a difference at all—it’ll take more than a haircut to turn off a truly enamored man. But how a crush will react to a radical makeover depends on your intentions and the extent of your relationship.
For example, drastic change can be jarring for a mutual admirer. Flip the tables for a second and imagine the cute, grungy skater you’ve been flirting with were to come into Chem class one day wearing khaki pants and a blazer fit for Chuck Bass. If his natural bad-boy image was what attracted you in the first place, wouldn’t an abrupt, disingenuous switch turn you off? Plus, whether we want to admit it or not, both genders can harbor shallow preferences. I admit that when a girl I once liked got fed up with long hair and went for a pixie cut, my interest waned when I couldn’t shake visions of my closely cropped grandmother. So don’t change yourself for a guy who already might be interested – change your perspective and ask him out!
On the other hand, if you want to get an oblivious guy’s attention, it actually can’t hurt to try something new. We’ve all seen the movie She’s All That (or am I just really old?), a Pygmalion derivative in which the nerdy chick gets made over and suddenly becomes the hottest thing around. Sadly, it’s not just a movie cliché: some of us men are dumb enough to not notice a girl until she throws on a dress and some contact lenses.
However, if you’re just aching for a new look to fit your ever-evolving internal state, then you shouldn’t worry about what any guy thinks. Listen to Madonna and express yourself (…yup, I’m just old). Because ultimately, if a guy isn’t into your being self-assured, then he isn’t worth dating in the first place.
Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Ethan, email him at firstname.lastname@example.org!
Change Your Look