Boards
Losing your virginity doesn't always mean falling in love.
Attached After Sex
At some point in your life, you’ve probably heard someone say that girls always get emotionally attached after sex. We’re guessing it was something along the lines of the fact that women can’t have sex without falling in love, becoming attached and obsessive, or getting hurt. It can seem kind of crazy, and not surprisingly, a lot of girls question it.
Putting aside the facts for a minute, what is your personal opinion on this statement? Do you think that girls always get emotionally attached to the guys they have sex with? Or do you think there are plenty of exceptions? Read what these girls had to say in the message boards, and then check out what we have to say – then let us know what you think.
PrincessCheyenne said:
So I’ve heard that after you lose your virginity to a guy, there is a hormone in the female brain that is released that makes them more attached and want the guy more. Could anyone help me with this? Do you know if it’s true or where I could read more about it at? It would be really helpful!
shardasiah_haugabrook replied and said:
I don’t know if there’s a hormone to make you attached to the person you’ve lost your virginity to, but I will tell you that you will view the person you’ve slept with for the first time completely different. I’m guessing that if you want to give your virginity up to someone, that person is special to you. You may already be emotionally attached to that person, but not in a way that you will be once you have sex with them. Sex is a stress reliever, a way of making up with each other, and a way to unite with each other and feel as one. It will seem as though your lonely days are over. You will definitely feel closer to the person.
Caleb and Hanna definitely did seem more attached after they did the deed.
hero_of_the_day replied and said:
I don’t think it’s true. Personally, if I have sex with someone, I do get more attached to them. But it’s an emotional thing, nothing to do with chemicals or whatever, because I don’t orgasm during sex. It depends on the individual. Many girls do get attached after sex, but not all of them and I don’t think there’s any science behind it… us girls are usually more affectionate like that, that’s all.
Okay, so here’s the truth: yes, there is a “bonding” hormone that gets released into your brain during sexual intercourse. It’s called oxytocin, and while it will make most women feel closer to their partner, it doesn’t have the same effect on everyone.
Feeling emotionally attached to the guy you lost your virginity to, or any guy you sleep with, is totally normal. But just because it’s normal and happens a lot doesn’t mean it happens to every girl. Contrary to popular belief, there are girls out there who can have sex without feeling emotions. When it comes down to it, it depends on how your body reacts to sex, and there’s really no right or wrong.
Did you feel emotionally attached to the person you lost it to? Do you think all girls do in some way? Tell us in the comments.
Should you dump a dude who’s still into his ex?
Attached After Sex
Would You Rather?
I lost my virginity about 2 weeks ago to this guy I’d been friends–but he always wanted more–with for a while. What can I say, it was fun, his dick was very large, and I definitely felt physical affection for him. However, I don’t feel any lingering emotional attachment. Like I said, it was fun, and it was a good memory, but he just graduated college and is moving across the country. Its over and I don’t really care, but I’m very happy it happened.
When i had sex, it was both of our first times. And it was so bad that I didnt become more emotionally attached to him..i was actually more disappointed.. lmfao
“I don’t think it’s true. Personally, if I have sex with someone, I do get more attached to them. But it’s an emotional thing, nothing to do with chemicals or whatever, because I don’t orgasm during sex. It depends on the individual. Many girls do get attached after sex, but not all of them and I don’t think there’s any science behind it… us girls are usually more affectionate like that, that’s all.”
I hate when people clearly have no idea what they’re talking about, and they still insist on giving their opinions. ‘Chemicals or whatever?’ ‘I don’t think there’s any science behind it?’ All you had to do was Google it. I mean, I don’t expect everyone to know that the hormone is oxytocin and that it is also released when a woman has a baby or hears a baby cry, but at least have the decency to educate yourself before throwing your ignorant opinion out there.
I guess now I should actually answer the question:
I’m actually still a virgin, but am debating losing my virginity. Because I know that oxytocin can make you feel very attached to someone, I am reluctant to do it. I mean, I trust my boyfriend, don’t get me wrong. He’s been nothing but caring, loving, and considerate ever since we started dating. I just don’t want to have any negative side effects that comes with having sex.
yes i did get emotionally attached to the one guy i lost my virginity to an personally i do think this happens to many girls truth is when i slept with this guy i had no feeling towards him what so ever! so i really don’t know what lead me to just lose it to him but after the 3rd time i had sex with this guy i felt as if i was getting closer to him i started to feel a bond like if really knew him we had kept on talking after i had lost it to him it all happened this school year 2012 we talked like around September until November i remember we were on thanksgiving break when i lost it after that we kept on having sex and like i said i didn’t feel anything until the 3rd time we kept on talking i was sure i was in love i knew he was only telling me what i wanted to hear but i loved him so i believed what he said then at one point he started talking about how he really liked me an wanted something with me i was happier than ever but then he stopped talking to me i wondered why but then i found out he had gotten back with his ex i cried i was destroyed cause of this guy i didn’t know what to do we stopped talking for about 2 or 3 months feelings for him started to fade away i was finally getting over it but then he recently text ed me around the beginning of may this month we did it again another 2 time so all together we were probably 8 times that we slept together i don’t feel anything anymore toward him but im scared ill start to have feelings again till this day we still talk we talked year round but there’s just something about him i cant let go its sucks it really does.
I totally understand all of this! My situation is the same! No matter how much I try to get over him as soon as we talk emotions run high! He does not make it any easier by telling me things I like to hear! :-./
I just recently lost my virginity to a 29 year old. I’m 19, so I’m old enough. I do find myself constantly thinking about him and that bond we shared. Although before the sex, we had some level of emotions anyway but I do believe it has definitely increased to love and affection. As for those females who are emotional, the person they lost their virginity to will always be special to them.
Personally…I got crazy attached to the guy I lost my virgnity to….he cheated we broke up had anthr bf but constantly thinking of him … We got bck 2gthr …now we togthr but smtimes I cry a lot but nomater how much a try I can get over him..I’m so inlove with him.. With the otha guys iv slept with..I feel no attachnt to thm.. Wi easly got over them ..I thnk it really does depend on the girl nd how much you love him..
I lost my virginity to a guy I was dating in London while studying abroad. It was my second to last night there. I don’t regret it, I actually regret not doing it sooner so we’d have more time together to do it. However, after coming back to the US I was an emotional train wreck for the next two months. I still on occasion get sad. Like another said, not a day goes by where I don’t think of him and wish I could still be in London with him. I did get a little too attached emotionally, I should have known I would though, I’m just that way where I like guys for long lengths of time even if they don’t like me, then to add in the factor that he actually returned my affections…. oh boy.
My first time was 3 days ago, with someone I didn’t really know. We share a friend, who knowing I wanted to loss my virginity introduced me to the good looking, charming, funny and most of all nice guy she is friends with at university. I have no confidence and told her it would never happen, because why would he be interested in me.
I went to visit her last weekend and met the guy, who was everything she said he was, I was still convinced we would not have sex but decided to at least try and flirt. From the moment I kissed him one thing led to another. I do not regret losing my virginity because he made me feel special and I had a really good time. The problem is I am now obsessed with him, I know he is not interested in a relationship and I was fine with this and still understand, but the thought of him not being in my life is terrifying, but so far he has only given me his number and added me on Facebook, no other contact and I really want him in my life even if it’s just as friends. I have no idea what to do as we are interested in different things. And I can’t help wanting to have sex with him again but am afraid this will do more damage.
Any advice?
Just enjoy his company and the sex. If he makes you feel good thats great. Dont expect him to be your life long companion. Just enjoy the good times together. This whole thing might just help you with your confidence and if it does.. fantastic.
I lost my virginity when I was just turning 13 to someone I didnt know real well and he was a lot older too. But though I was scared i really enjoyed the whole thing. I was glad he didnt ask me my age, but I could see he realised I was very young as he undressed me. I could tell from the expression on his face. He was from a different country and i knew I could never have him forever. I enjoyed the experience and i never once regretted it. I did get attached to him but that was good because it made the sex even better. I didnt ask him if he had a girlfriend or not. He was a real cutie.
honestly no don’t keep having sex with him it will do a lot more damage well at least to me it did an sometimes i do think its better to try someone new im not saying go have sex with every guy out there no just expirance someone new and see what they have to bring maybe he’ll help you get over this one and dont keep doing it just because being next to him makes you feel good you dont know if hes having sex with alot more girls
I lost my virginity to this boy nearly a year ago, and ever since a day hasn’t passed where I don’t think about him, it hurts me so much seeing him with his new girlfriend, I don’t understand why only girls go through these feelings and not boys too?
Lucy, guys do feel this stuff lol, they just choose not to show it or tell it.