From The Boards: Do Girls Really Get Attached To The Person They Lose Their Virginity To?

Attached After Sex

Losing your virginity doesn't always mean falling in love.

At some point in your life, you’ve probably heard someone say that girls always get emotionally attached after sex. We’re guessing it was something along the lines of the fact that women can’t have sex without falling in love, becoming attached and obsessive, or getting hurt. It can seem kind of crazy, and not surprisingly, a lot of girls question it.

Putting aside the facts for a minute, what is your personal opinion on this statement? Do you think that girls always get emotionally attached to the guys they have sex with? Or do you think there are plenty of exceptions? Read what these girls had to say in the message boards, and then check out what we have to say – then let us know what you think.

PrincessCheyenne said:
So I’ve heard that after you lose your virginity to a guy, there is a hormone in the female brain that is released that makes them more attached and want the guy more. Could anyone help me with this? Do you know if it’s true or where I could read more about it at? It would be really helpful!

shardasiah_haugabrook replied and said:
I don’t know if there’s a hormone to make you attached to the person you’ve lost your virginity to, but I will tell you that you will view the person you’ve slept with for the first time completely different. I’m guessing that if you want to give your virginity up to someone, that person is special to you. You may already be emotionally attached to that person, but not in a way that you will be once you have sex with them. Sex is a stress reliever, a way of making up with each other, and a way to unite with each other and feel as one. It will seem as though your lonely days are over. You will definitely feel closer to the person.

Caleb and Hanna definitely did seem more attached after they did the deed.

hero_of_the_day replied and said:
I don’t think it’s true. Personally, if I have sex with someone, I do get more attached to them. But it’s an emotional thing, nothing to do with chemicals or whatever, because I don’t orgasm during sex. It depends on the individual. Many girls do get attached after sex, but not all of them and I don’t think there’s any science behind it… us girls are usually more affectionate like that, that’s all.

Okay, so here’s the truth: yes, there is a “bonding” hormone that gets released into your brain during sexual intercourse. It’s called oxytocin, and while it will make most women feel closer to their partner, it doesn’t have the same effect on everyone.

Feeling emotionally attached to the guy you lost your virginity to, or any guy you sleep with, is totally normal. But just because it’s normal and happens a lot doesn’t mean it happens to every girl. Contrary to popular belief, there are girls out there who can have sex without feeling emotions. When it comes down to it, it depends on how your body reacts to sex, and there’s really no right or wrong.

Did you feel emotionally attached to the person you lost it to? Do you think all girls do in some way? Tell us in the comments.


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Posted in: Discuss, Discuss, Health, Sex & Relationships, Hooking Up, Love&Sex, Relationships, Sex, Your Body
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  • A bad friend

    Okay so I lost my virginity super recently, like yesterday and it was to my best friends brother and I actually don’t really know him that well. I stayed at her house for the first time this weekend and I’ve always had a physical attraction to him. And I knew it was wrong but he convinced me it’d be okay. (Not saying he pressured me into sex) but out of fear of being caught we didn’t have full blown completely naked sex but his Penis did go inside me​. It hurt so after a little I made him stop and I went to Bed. Now it seems like he’s all I’m thinking about . I don’t know if it’s because I’m attached now or because I’m lowkey feeling guilty. Any advice?

  • panait ciprian

    It is called oxytocin and gets released when you have sex with your first 3 guys. It drops with each different guy. 100%-50%-20%-0%

  • Sarah

    Difference of opinion here, I don’t think it necessarily means you’ll get attached to the person you lose it to. I lost it to a great guy who told me he loved me before, made sure I was alright during it and everything. In the end I ended up pulling away from him, I became distance. I don’t know if it’s because I wasn’t fully ready myself and facing him would be admitting to the fact that I wasn’t. I lost it at 19, part of me wishes I had known him a little longer, or thinks that he might of been the rebound off the guy I was with for 2 years before him. I by no means regret it. I made the decision beforehand and it will never be as perfect as it is in your head. I do agree with waiting till your ready though, never feel pressured because you may never be able to look at them the same way again and coming to terms with the first person you have sex with will more then likely not be the one you end up with is a little hard but at least I can say I lost it to someone special to me.

  • Elais Laurila

    man I took this girls virginity and she still left me my house burnt down man I’m pissed because I thought she would stay with me because of the whole virgin thing man I feel so stupid now.

  • Christian Beaver

    So my girlfriend is 13 I am 15 we plan on having sex on this up coming Saturday or Sunday and I want to get closer with her we’re at that point to wear she is getting wet by being around me and she grinds on me without her knowing will she become more attached to me

  • Briana Elizabeth

    I lost my virginity a few nights ago, im 17 and we did it twice, two separate nights. I like the guy, definitely, we’re not dating but we’ve both been into each other for a while, however i dont feel particularly attached, in fact im kind of just like “ok that was fun, no biggie”. He’s a lovely guy and all, but I know he wants to ask me out and i really am not looking for a relationship. It sounds terrible, but I feel absolutely no attachment to him at all other than as a friend. But now hes becoming attached and I feel terrible. lawd help me

  • VK

    I am a guy I am in similar situation. I was late virgin (21) because I couldn’t find someone who like and care about me. I was also very desperate about losing virginity but at the same time having first sex with someone who care about me was very important for me. I finally met a girl on Craigslist. She was very nice and caring. But after the sex, she decided she don’t want to be stay even as a friend and decided to stop all the communication (not her fault, I ended up way too drama for her).

    It’s been 2 months since then. I think about her everyday at least 3-4 times. It’s not like I want sex.. I miss being with her everyday. Spending time with her was the happiest moments of my life and I miss that. I don’t want sex or anything. I just want to talk to her for hours and spend time with her.

    I don’t know. Guys are not supposed to be like this. She probably think I am crazy or whatever. The whole time I was desperately trying to impress her, but everytime I ended up being the needy one.

    The strangest part is I spent only 2-4 hours in total with her. We had one Skype call. Few days later she came to my apartment in evening and later left in the evening. She stayed for just 1-2 hours at my apartment.

  • Yuval

    Yuval: Yes I felt a deep connection

  • alessandra

    so honestly i was kind of feeling the dude, thought he was really cute. We had a weird connection..hard to explain. Couple weeks after talking we have sex and it’s my first time, of course, not his. after that i had no feelings towards him whats so ever. i was so happy. we eventually had sex two more times and now it feels like Im dying to see him but then i think about it and i ask myself…do i really want to see him or is it the hormone talkin…

  • Anita Brown

    Well I had sex w my ex n I was independent n felt like he was everything n I believe that girls do get attached cause they have the mind set of we will be together for a min n I cared bout him n we broke up got bakk together and it hurt every time and we finally broke up for good n he said I got to ” annoying .. N got to attached to easy” n I told him every girls first she gets attached to he told me ( that’s all in ur head thats how u want to feel its all in your mind that’s not true ) n he stopped talk to me after that I don’t like him like before but I still think bout him every now than barely doe… N than but I don’t think its all in my head cause there was this boy I did it w and stop talking to him that day I feel as if he was wrong that it’s not all n girls heads its a emotion that guys don’t have but heyy what can u do
    That’s my thought on that?

  • Kayla

    Well I lost my virginity just a few days ago, I was scared out of my mind. And I do feel some emotional thing going on with me, I’m starting to crave a man that is gorgeous, and everything I’ve ever wanted. Plus he wants to get me pregnant I don’t know about that but I wanna keep seeing him.