Confession: I Judge People On Their Looks


how should i dress

Sophia Loren did NOT like the looks of Jayne Mansfield.

That’s right, I said it. How you look makes a huge difference in how I see you, the things I’ll think you’re capable of, and even whether or not I’ll put an effort into getting to know you.

I know that sounds terrible, but you can’t spend the time to get to know everybody in the world (there are way too many people out there!). If you strike me as lazy, boring, or generally clueless? Why would I put in the effort to talk to you, when I could be meeting someone who seems more interesting? Just hear me out, and by the time I’m done with you, I bet you’ll admit that you do the same exact thing.

It’s not like I judge people based on things they can’t change–height, skin color, the size of your nose or forehead–none of those things matter to me. What I’m talking about is how people choose to look. The way you dress, the way you do your hair, and whether or not you take a shower! It’s those things that actually tell me about who a person is and what they want to communicate about themselves to the world.

There's more to you than what you wear, but how you look is still important.

I’m sure you’re thinking, “But I have the right to dress however I want!” And you’re right. People do have the right to wear what they want, and I think that’s an important part of freedom of expression, but I also think people should use some common sense when it comes to getting dressed in the morning.

If you want respect and to be trusted with responsibility, don’t look like a slob or wear shirts that say stupid things on them! You can be gothy, punky, trendy, whatever, and still look put-together–do you hair (even if it’s in spikes!); don’t wear wrinkled, dirty, or skimpy clothes; make sure your fingernails aren’t gross; and brush your teeth, for goodness sakes!

Gothy or glitzy, Evan is always put together.

I’ve heard a lot of girls who practically live in jeans and T-shirts say that it’s just “too much work” to wear anything else, and then they wonder why they’re not taken seriously–but that’s the whole thing. It does  take effort to look nice, and if you’re too lazy to put in that effort, and if you’re not imaginative enough to put thought into what you wear, I’m going to think you’re lazy and boring–because that’s what your clothes are telling me!

I’m not saying there’s not a time and a place for comfy clothes (hello, I love my Chuck Taylors!) but it drives me crazy to see people in sneaks and sweats at work, in places of worship, out at restaurants, and even at the theater. I mean, were you raised in a barn? Show some respect for yourself, people.

The place where (cheapy!) fashion dreams come true.

The other excuse I’m tired of hearing is that “only rich girls can afford to look nice.” So not true! When I was a kid, we didn’t have much money–but my mom always dressed my sister and me in clean, cute outfits–even if they were hand-me-downs or from the clearance rack at Target. Unless Ross, TJMaxx, Marshall’s and all those other awesome discount shops go out of business, your argument makes no sense.

I’m not saying people shouldn’t have their own style and express themselves through fashion–because fashion is maybe the most fun way of expressing yourself–but try to be aware of exactly what you’re telling the world. It’s one thing to look like a cool, ambitious, responsible rockabilly/goth/surfer girl/whatever–and quite another thing to look like a slob who just doesn’t care.

Do you judge people on their looks, or do you think you’ve been judged based on how you dress? Do you think judging like this is fair? Tell us in the comments.

 

 
Now, tell us just how truthful you are with your BFF in this poll!


Posted in: Being Yourself, Beliefs, Confessions, Spotlight On, Uncategorized, Your Life
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  • Roxana

    Why should we judge people for the way they look? If they feel happy dressing the way they do, let them do and walk away. Every person in this world dress and express differently precisely because of that, because they are different and have their own personalities and preferences. Go diversity!

  • Ursula

    I love dressing in fancy cloths and being unique, but even if someone dress bad I don’t judge them on that. People use to make fun of me long ago because I did not know how to dress, much less I could have cared because I was in grade 1. It still hurt my feelings tho. Then one day I just decided to learn how to wear cloths. I now know how to be trendy and look like my personality, but I always try not to judge someone by looks or first impersonation. Yeah there are alot of people out there. maybe too much, but if people think just like you then those people would be left alone. Being lonely is maddening. We are social animals after all.

  • guinevere0501

    I have went out with a guy who only saw me for my looks and I noticed everything far looked fuzzy and found out I was near-sided and when I started wearing glasses to see the white board he treated me like CRAP!

  • XOjessi14

    I used to have the messiest hair, the biggest stomach, and the tightest leggings. Everyone told me I looked like a slob, but I didn’t listen. It wasn’t until my friend told me I looked ridiculous that I took matters into my own hands and now I look decent and I actually get compliments! 😉

  • SUSHS

    THANK GOD I DONT KNOW YOU

  • Anonymous

    I believe this article says it all! Look presentable and it will make the world of difference, even to how you feel yourself.

  • Karin

    I disagree. Sometimes I get up and don’t bother to brush my hair in the morning. I walk outside and care. If a person doesn’t like you because your hair doesn’t look at good as theirs then that’s just shallow. I know I have awesome friends because we can look as stupid and messy as possible and we won’t have any shame being with each other. And people who live on the street do not look the best but it doesn’t mean you should judge them. They’ve probably been through hell. I would take the time to get to know anyone rather than judge them right away.

  • Marisa

    I completly disagree with this article. just because someone isnt dressed neatly and fashionably, doesnt mean that you should just automatically judge them on that. I always wait to see what peoe are like before I become friends with them, and if people are shallow, then I wont

  • Anonymous

    I totally agree. I never wear sweatpants, ever. They look sloppy, like I don’t care, and if some one at my school wore sweatpants on a regular basis I’d judge them. Sure, we have to wake up early, but It takes me less than ten minutes to get ready for school. If someone can’t be bothered to take those ten mites to look some what decent then what else don’t they take the time to do? Messy buns, tee-shirts, jeans, and sneakers a totally fine, as long as you look put together when wearing them. There might be some exceptions, but as a general rule people who don’t take the time to look put together don’t seem to care about much.
    I was, however, slightly offended by the fact that she judges people by what they wear in places of worship. In some places it’s an expectation that people should dress up, but at my church everyone shows up in jeans and t-shirts. We’ve had homeless people that can’t afford to buy a suit just for sundays. I agree with the fact the sweats shouldn’t be there, but casual dress especially if it’s your regular place of worship shouldn’t matter. What really should matter is that you’re there to worship.

  • Anonymous

    I’m a geek and a tomboy and so I find the best thing that reflects my personality and how I feel each day is jeans and a tshirt with a geeky slogan. Plus dressing down every day means that when I do wear a nice dress and makeup like to a party, people are always way more impressed with my look because upping the effort from 20% to 70% is more noticeable than upping the effort from 90% to 100%! If someone thinks my tshirts and jeans mean that I’m not worth getting to know, I agree with the other commenters, they’re probably not worth getting to know themselves!

  • Anonymous

    I understand what you’re getting at and I do agree that it is harder to be taken seriously if you’re sloppy-looking. Similarly, I agree that, depending on your workplace, it might be better to dress a bit more professionally than jeans and sneakers. However, I wholeheartedly disagree with your attitude towards people in general. Like the only other person who has commented so far wrote, you have no idea what is going on in someone else’s life. If one is facing a job interview or is scheduled to do something extremely professional or has to go somewhere that requires fancier dress, then sure, brush your hair and take off the sweatpants. But appearance is sometimes circumstantial and you’re writing as though you judge nearly every stranger on a daily basis. Sometimes there are things more important than pleasing a complete stranger by making sure you didn’t put your hair in a messy bun that morning. And if you’re the type of person who catches me on a bad day and decides never to give me a chance or even deign to speak to me, solely based on how I appear at that, perhaps isolated, moment, then quite frankly, you’re the type of person I can do without. I make that judgement based purely on your personality, not your looks.

  • Anonymous

    I know that looks do affect your first impression of someone, but some people may have issues or problems. I heard of a girl who wore the same clothes for a very long time, and people were starting to wonder what was going on. In the end, it turned out that this person was taking the bus to the hospital everyday after school to spend the night with her sick sister. Then she would take the bus straight to school and didn’t even have enough time to stop at home to take a shower and change. I understand that the way someone presents themselves does say a lot about that person and their personality, but I think that it is always worth it to get to know someone that wants to be your friend. All I’m saying is that some people have problems at home that you don’t know about.