Everyone knows that getting over a first love, or just an ex in general, is not an easy thing to do. In fact, some people say that they never really get over their exes. So when your current sweetie admits that they’ll always have a spot in their heart for their ex, how are you supposed to deal?
It’s easy to say dump the dude and move on. But what if you can kind of understand where they’re coming from? We saw this post about this subject in the message boards, and it made us wonder how others feel about this: what would you do if your sweetie admitted they weren’t completely over their ex? Read these responses and then tell us your opinion.
So I’ve been exclusive with this guy for about 2 weeks now. I’ve already taken a lot of risks with him because of his past. He recently told me about his ex, which got me asking questions. They were together for somewhere around 5 years on-and-off… But they’ve been broken up for 3-ish years. He told me he still has feelings for her and probably always will because of their history together, but that wasn’t going to change anything between him and I. He said they still talk, just to see how each other is doing, and have recently hung out, but that she knows about me. I’m not really worried about this, just because I know he’s very honest with me, I was just wondering what you guys think about this?
hero_of_the_day replied and said:
I wouldn’t like that because he says he still has feelings… yes, there have been guys I’ve REALLY liked in the past, but I wouldn’t date someone else if I still had those feelings. There’s a difference between not forgetting someone and not being over them.
stayclassy replied and said:
I think that if you really like him you could give it a shot. But if you do, then definitely take things slow and see how it goes with him… if he ever gets over her, if you’re okay with it. I mean who knows… you could either wake up one day and say “forget it, I want to be the ONLY one” OR he could get over her. See how it goes.
This is kind of a tricky situation, but in the end, we’re going to have to say that if your BF isn’t over his ex, he probably isn’t ready for a relationship, no matter what he tells you or himself. We have to agree with hero_of_the_day when she says that there’s a difference between not forgetting someone and not being over them. There’s no reason for your sweetie to completely forget about his/her exes, but they shouldn’t still have feelings for them.
When it comes to relationships, every girl deserves someone who will give her all of the attention and love that she deserves. If your guy is still hung up on his ex, he’s not emotionally ready to be someone else’s boyfriend. Think about how you would feel if you weren’t over your ex – would you be able to put your all into your new relationship? Probably not.
Who do you agree with? Would you date someone who wasn’t over their ex? Tell us in the comments.